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Thursday 23 February 2012

Oh No! English People Support England! Racists! Think of the Children!

Friday, 18th June 2010

Sunder Katwala has already done a terrific job dismantling this fatuous piece of New Statesman guff by James Macintyre. But that doesn't mean other people can't play the game too. Macintyre, you see, wants to see a United British football team. Not, mind you, because he thinks it might be better than England's but because this is needed "for the sake of the Union". Yes, really.

Macintyre's piece is remarkable, not least because I'm not persuaded it contains even a single sensible sentence while every one of its assumptions is wrong and each of its dubious interpretations is as hopeless as anything ever produced by a Russian linesman. It's so bad he could probably have persuaded the Guardian to pay* him for it. So...

If, as Cecil Rhodes claimed, to be English is to have "won first prize in the lottery of life", then it doesn't much feel like that during the World Cup. It isn't just the leering, the inane and pointless aggression, the cheap English lager, the "funny" hats, songs and dancing and the pale, parochial, howling lack of worldliness and cultural refinement displayed by "our" fans.

There is something more depressing still about the fact that the English football team remains, as it has been for decades, unspeakably poor compared to the fantasy it creates in those fans' minds. We are constantly told by the tabloids that "England expects", but why this is no-one knows. England, even under a coach of Fabio Capello's Continental experience, consistently retains its failure to produce possession football of the sort epitomised by Liverpool in the glory years of John Barnes and Peter Beardsley in the 1980s. Instead, it still, hopelessly, insists on the kind of boot-it-upfield-and-hope-for-the-best "tactics" that Franz Beckenbauer has rightly condemned as "kick and rush".

Oh please. This reads like the tritest, tiredest rehash of something from the 1980s. Apart from anything else at least England qualify these days. Remember 74, 78 and 94? Precisely. Anyway, if you possess even the briefest acquaintance with English football fans you know that there's a gaping gulf between the bandwagon-tabloids and the expectations of fans who know about the game. Listen to the better class of football phone-in if you doubt this. The English, bless 'em, are resigned to their lot while hoping that something extraordinary may happen to permit them to rise above their allotted, merited, station. English football fans are, in general and at bottom, a pretty realistic bunch. Ask them if England "will" win the World Cup and most will say "You're having a laugh".

As for tactics: well, sure, English football culture may not produce players as tactically-supple as, say, Italian football does. But that doesn't mean that England play Route One football these days. You can only really believe they do if you don't watch the games. But it gets worse:

Still, I digress. The reason I do not support England has nothing to do with its abilities, dire though they are (I will be very surprised indeed if it gets any further than the quarter final in Africa). No, it is because there is no logic at all in its existence.

We all belong -- for now at least -- to the United Kingdom. There is a "Team GB" British side in the Olympics. So why not in international football?

Because, apart from anything else, of the history of international football. But does this mean that Macintyre thinks there's "no logic" in the existence of the English rugby team? (Which also means he must think there's no logic in the existence of the Scottish and Welsh teams either.) Does he blush with shame when England and Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland compete in the Commonwealth Games? Does he feel threatened by the classification of Lee Westwood as English and Colin Montgomerie as Scottish? Does he object to Scotland competing in the World Curling Championships as Scotland and as Great Britain in the Olympic Games?

Still, to give Macintyre his due, he's only warming up:

Englishness is ultimately, alas, a racial brand. Britishness, on the other hand, is cultural. Most first -- or even, dare it be said, second -- generation foreigners who live here can comfortably consider themselves British, but less so English. I, for example, am roughly three-quarter Canadian and a quarter Scottish. My Scottish descent but London up-bringing makes me Anglo-Scottish, and therefore British, not English.

What nonsense. Does McIntyre appreciate that he's siding with the nastier fringes of nasty far-right politics here? These nutters also believe that Englishness is a matter of race and, from their perspective, pigmentation. I'm surprised to find the New Statesman accepting a BNP analysis of race, ethinicity and culture. Ask Amir Khan if he's an Englishman. Ask Linford Christie. Ask Mark Ramprakash or Nasser Hussein.

I'm not English either but that's not a matter of "race" and frankly I'd find it odd to think of my English friends as being a different "race" far less a different "racial brand" (is that some kind of tattoo?) And, yes, I'm British too and would be even if the Union were no more. I'd be so - and so would the English in a post-UK environment - because of our shared, interwoven cultural inheritance. Johnson was English and Boswell was Scottish but they each belong to all of us. Ditto Shakespeare, Adam Smith, Walter Scott, Dickens, Gladstone & Disraeli, Wellington & Nelson and all the rest of them.

Undaunted by jackassery, Macintyre presses on:

Which is why I feel like a stranger in my own land amid the creepy mass influx of St. George's flags -- by definition exclusive emblems -- that are now prevalent in cars and house windows. And why I felt so queesy at the Prime Minister, David Cameron's populist decision to fly the red and white flag over Downing Street during England's -- albeit limited -- "campaign". That the Union is under much more threat under the Conservatives (increasingly the English party) is another story, and I won't go into it here.

But it is because of a growing fear for the future of the Scottish-English Union -- one that represents 300 years of rich social, cultural and political integration -- that I hope one day to be able to cheer on British goals in the World Cup. And do so with great pride and patriotism.

[...] It's time to replace English aggression with open, generous British unity, before it's too late.

For god's sake man, get a grip. If you feel threatened by people waving the Cross of St George during the World Cup then you should retire to a monastic life. Would you feel as threatened by folk displaying the Cross of St Andrew had Scotland qualified for the tournament? I suspect not and nor should you. Why, of all the countries in the world, do you think it improper for the English to wave their own flag to support an English team?

Indeed, one of the healthier developments in recent years - Euro 96 was the turning point - was English fans' belated appreciation that the Union Flag is not the English flag. That was a welcome, refreshing sign of English sensitivity - not aggression - and maturity since, lord knows, few things annoy the rest of us more than the conflation of British and English.

As for Cameron flying the St George's cross during the tournament: well, why the hell not? Only a thin-skinned churl could object and one assumes that had Scotland qualified (damn those technicalities that prevented this!) he'd be flying the Saltire from Downing Street too. Who can possibly object to such a harmless gesture, far less feel (absurdly) "queasy" about it?

Nevertheless, there is a wider point to be made: Macintyre's attitude reflects a certain daft pathology on the left - namely that difference may neither be acknowledged nor celebrated. We all, as Whitman says, contain multitudes and that's one of the more attractive things about Britishness. It may exist without threatening our sense of Englishness or Scottishness or Welshness or Irishness.

But that's not enough for Macintyre and those who think like him. A one-size fits all approach must be imposed regardless of what people actually want (and he should ask Scottish Unionists if they favour a British football team. Hint: they do not). Macintyre wants "open, generous unity" in the name of, I assume, progressive diversity and is seemingly unaware of the contradiction between these positions.

Sporting allegiances are often complicated but tripe like Macintyre's is enough to make me think it's worthwhile England winning the World Cup if only to frustrate and terrify and horrify the likes of those who think as he does.

Still, these things are nuanced: I wish the England football team well while secretly hoping they don't win the World Cup, but I support the England cricket team and was pleased when their rugby team won the World Cup in 2003. That doesn't mean I want them to beat France or Ireland or Italy or, obviously, Scotland. But I'll support Tottenham Hotspur against both Celtic and Rangers. (Hell, I'll probably support Arsenal against them too. Think of it as Localist Enmity.)

For that matter, I have Anglo-Scottish friends who support Scotland at rugby and England at football. They see no contradiction in that since it reflects their Scottishness, Englishness and Britishness. Similarly, English people have no trouble supporting Chris Hoy at the Olympics while hoping he's beaten by an Englishman at the Commonwealth Games. And there's nothing wrong with that! It's normal.

Macintyre proclaims his belief in Britishness while denying many of the things that make Britishness Britishness. This is a curious position to take, indeed a fatuous one.

As for a British football team "saving the Union", well only someone who knows nothing about either politics or football could possibly really believe this. Sport, in fact, is one of the things that reminds us that it is a Union while also bringing us together in - and because of - our differences and respective, layered, affiliations.

Anyway, do go and read Sunder's piece too.

*Writing nonsense for money is fair enough, even proper. Doing so for no additional gain is just embarassing.

PS: Macintyre obviously knows nothing about football and not just because he mentions Colin Hendry and Ally McCoist as candidates for an All-Britain Select but because he talks about the England football team as "it" not "they" or "we". "It" is for Americans. This is not America.

Filed under: England (121 more articles) , Football (86 more articles) , Hackery (213 more articles) , Lefties (23 more articles) , Scotland (468 more articles) , World Cup (22 more articles)

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AB

June 18th, 2010 2:48am Report this comment

Alex: this is truly magnificent. I can say no more than GET IN.

tommyt

June 18th, 2010 3:58am Report this comment

Bravo Alex

It is very difficult to articulate the identitiy of a Scottish sport fan but you have done a good job of alerting people to that fact.

IF we want to have a team GB in football tournaments it would be the best recruiting sergeant for nationalism since the poll tax (but I'm still against it)

Kevyn Bodman

June 18th, 2010 5:26am Report this comment

I am not English and I am not a football fan.
But I am pleased to see the Cross of St. George flown.

Ivor Cornish

June 18th, 2010 7:33am Report this comment

What a nut McIntyre is, he says:- 'I, for example, am roughly three-quarter Canadian'. does this mean he only feels comfortable stating his nationality if the original population are either slaughtered or corralled..... tell that to the Inuits.

Cuffleyburgers

June 18th, 2010 8:42am Report this comment

I have not read Macintyre's appalling article your extract was enough to put me off however, I have often thought that I would have no problem supporting a GB football team. On occasion it would be a better side.

However, quite apart from the tone of MacIntyre (which is that sneering "stink under the nose" lefty hampsteady that makes you want to thump him) which obviously means that whatever he is writing is utter tosh (polite word) - a few moments' thought reveals that in fact it would do more harm than good to the union.

The annual sporting contests are a good safety valve, and the arguments over the make up of such a side would lead to certain secession (by England) before you could say "West Lothian"

alex

June 18th, 2010 9:16am Report this comment

what the leftwing are saying, and have always said with regard to this subject is this: get rid of england and the english because it might offend the afro-caribbeans and asians. in other words, black and asian people, who made themselfs a minority when, of their own free will, they decided to immigrate to ENGLAND, are more entitled to britain and identity in britain than one of the four native ethnic groups. how was this insane mindset ever allowed to develope in the first place?

James

June 18th, 2010 9:27am Report this comment

Is James Macintyre a member of the Orange Lodge? He seems to be obsessed with being British. Maybe the kit for his British football team will include bowler hats and sashes.

Yorkshire Pit Village

June 18th, 2010 9:56am Report this comment

Inevitable I suppose that we will face equally misguided calls for a single European team.

Mycroft

June 18th, 2010 10:13am Report this comment

Excellent piece. Though as an Englishman I have always wished that we had British sides because I so hate the idea that loutish fotball fans should be taken as representing any idea of Englishness. The notion that Englishness is somehow racial in a way that Scottishness or Welshness is not has only gained such a foothold because it is encouraged by people like Macintyre.

Nicholas

June 18th, 2010 10:52am Report this comment

To take a leaf out of the Big Book of Lefty Victimhood:-

I am English, a member of a much-marginalised, persecuted and slagged-off ethnic and cultural minority in Britain, and I am deeply offended by Macintyre's racial slur against my people.

Colin Cumner

June 18th, 2010 11:10am Report this comment

Just one of the appalling legacies of the Labour Government - denying the English to express pride in their racial identity. For some unfathomable reason, those on the Left of politics seem hell-bent on destroying anything to do with indigenous national values while falling over themselves to embrace the cultural values of new arrivals, even skewing laws to the latter's advantage. It will take years of remedial action, but let's hope the new Coalition will gradually redress the balance.

Wilhelm

June 18th, 2010 11:26am Report this comment

What you fail to grasp Alex yet again is that the socialists and the liberals dont believe in the nation state and they despise and loathe the white working class. Their pet hate '' waaycism '' they think will completely vanish from this earth if we only just get rid of the English football team and set up a British team.

Why stop there ? why not have a European football team or a one world football team. Its the lefties erroneous logic.

David Bouvier

June 18th, 2010 1:27pm Report this comment

Though Sunder makes a false claim that England is the only team in the tournament that does not represent a state.

There is one other state that has multiple teams and one of them has indeed qualified...

(a piece of trivia beloved of an old boss of mine - I'll post the answer later)

paulg

June 18th, 2010 2:03pm Report this comment

What a great post alex - only a numbskull could equate sport with racism: especially as most of our team are black.

It is one of the good things about our rivalry that we needle each other up and still go for a drink together at the end of the day. Thats how we all live together in these small Islands.

As per usual you could not help yourself get a needle in... England only as far as the quarter finals.

The only decent teams I have seen are Argentina(no defence) and Brazil. Whilst the Germans had an advantage of playing with this ball all season- their striker who has two cloven left feet was able to shine- something he has not done all season in the Bundesliga. But the rest will soon catch up.

So on my reckening England / Brazil for the final ( If it works out group wise that way ).

Did you see how the Americans were shaking in their boots before the England game and, if Rooney had of stayed around the box more they would have had reason to be shaking after it as well- its called trauma.

call me dave

June 18th, 2010 2:46pm Report this comment

I have little interest in football but i fly
the England flag just to annoy people like James Macintyre.

Conservative Cabbie

June 18th, 2010 2:48pm Report this comment

Macintyre obviously knows nothing about sport. Perhaps he should be reminded that in rugby, it is those Brits in Scotland and Wales that sing their own national anthems whilst the English sing the British anthem. It is also only the English who don't have a strong nationalist movement. If any country is doing it's utmost to keep the union together, it is the English.

Conservative Cabbie

June 18th, 2010 2:51pm Report this comment

David Bouvier

South Africa right?

Kennybhoy

June 18th, 2010 4:35pm Report this comment

Absolutely magnificent post Alex.

Regarding James Macintyre's piece. Truly beyond parody. The depth of self-hatred here is so pathological. I hesitate to admit it, but some beliefs really are only amenable to psychological rather than political or philiosophical analysis.

Kennybhoy

June 18th, 2010 6:09pm Report this comment

Cabbie!

Nice to hear from you again man!

Conservative Cabbie

June 18th, 2010 9:28pm Report this comment

Kenny

Cheers, It's been a while.

Cheap Steve

June 19th, 2010 12:35am Report this comment

Can't add much beyond an almighty 'Bravo Alex(and Sunder)' unless I'm permitted the odd assumption then maybe I can bring something fresh 'to the table'. Strikes me that if JM can so easily cast aside his support, which he claims to be doing on (half-baked) political grounds, then maybe it wasn't so deep rooted in the first place. I'd go as far as to say he's jumping on the World Cup bandwagon to try and make a wider point and reckons on maximum 'right-on' points by dissing the footy and 'pride in being English' in one fell swoop. Well he ain't the first, won't be the last. Well, there are a lot of idiots get drunk and talk nonsense during the World Cup. There are also a lot of idiots who drive cars, work in offices, eat in Burger King....you get my drift, there are a idiots everywhere. Most people enjoy supporting England loudly and proudly because it's FUN and because they/we are comfortable with being the kind of person who does so. Not with being English, or British, or White, or Black, or Multicultural, or Muslim, or Christian, or Hindu, from London, or Liverpool, or Gay, or Hetero, or Male, or Female, or Disabled, or not, or Catholic or Protestant....etc etc... you get the picture. We enjoy the World Cup because of the fun aspects of it. Only those who are obsessed with appointing and constantly analysing groupings read more into it, whilst failing to enjoy it.

Russell

June 19th, 2010 1:05am Report this comment

Great stuff fae Alex. As a Scotsman I share many (if not all) of Alex's proclivities when it comes to supporting (or not) England.

Did miss one thing though: I love The British Lions in rugby! And the Lions also include players from the Republic of Ireland to make it even more complicated.

Mr Adequate

June 19th, 2010 4:26pm Report this comment

Nice work.

David Bouvier

June 19th, 2010 8:02pm Report this comment

Cabbie - Bizarrely enough, There are two Danish team - Denmark and the Faroes - each of which has full FIFA membership.

Faroes tends not to get past the qualifiers though.

Ron Todd

June 20th, 2010 6:14am Report this comment

Might be the only way of getting a Scottish player into the finals.

We would either have Scots moaning if the manager did not pick the any Scottish players, or a manager forced to work to a quota system.

Beer Moth

June 20th, 2010 6:45am Report this comment

Yorkshire Pit Village.

Tha mun laugh oreet, but if we had a European team, then at least we'd win one trophy every two years.

A. MacAulay

June 20th, 2010 10:27am Report this comment

Many years ago, end of the 60's when I was a schoolboy aged about 11 in Rheindalen, a football match was organised between us British lads and our Dutch NATO "friends". We showed up with our typical British equipment for sport; plimsolls and singlets. The Dutch showed up with football boots and in their national colour, Oranje. We, a gym class. They a school select.

They also knew how to play football and it wasn't a game between anything like equals but a massacre whose final score I never knew because I was too bewildered at the time to count goals in double figures.

It's not money that is lacking in British football, but will, intelligence, culture, tactical understanding and a grand strategy aimed at producing world-beaters. It's what the Dutch were doing then. And the result is years of highest quality sport and the wonder that they really could/should have picked up the highest trophies, but haven't yet. And every Dutch fan knows they have the stuff to do it.

Rod Liddle, in his essay talked of countries "punching above their weight". The Dutch have been doing it, nearly consistently, also with their trainers, for decades. Has really anyone in Britain asked how they do that? For us Scots, has anyone in the SFA looked at a comparable country like Denmark and asked themselves how they manage to play such a self-assured and enjoyable football all these years?

I don't want England to win. I want them to play well. Be entertaining, inspiring, daring and then I know they will win. If not the cup, then firstly self-respect and the esteem of the world. Even from my Scottish perspective.

Otherwise it's embarrasing to watch all those millionaires collapse morally under the burden of their insignificance.

Cheap Steve

June 20th, 2010 11:12am Report this comment

@ David Bouvier

You're right. Just. Guam initially entered qualification for the World Cup, being FIFA affiliated and all that, but missed the deadline or something, anyway didn't participate. But may well soon, so keep abreast in order to keep the quiz question up to date!

fifer

June 21st, 2010 3:44pm Report this comment

Well, there's one of two things going on here.

Either Macintyre's a fatuous muppet - which, in fairness, the prima facie evidence supports - or he's a particularly subtle analyst of the game who has realised that England might be in with a shout if they had 10 Englishmen outfield and either Craig Gordon or Alan McGregor in goal...

shockwaver

June 27th, 2010 4:02am Report this comment

cabbie
delighted to see you posting. i have missed your comments.

Caldwalada y Brython

October 9th, 2010 1:23pm Report this comment

UK rules forever! So much for 'little England'! I am British and proud! I do not want an English parliament. It's a waste of money to have an English parliament and it's anti-British. Britain existed long before the Anglo-Saxons (English) came over.
Rule Britannia!

shaun the brummie

August 31st, 2011 10:46am Report this comment

caldwalader,i'm english and i say fuck the celts back to scotland,wales and ireland.the money grabbing bastards,they're all on the dole...paid for by the english.then we kick welsh teams out of the english football setup.and what taxes wales raises they spend,same for the jocks and irish.....and ENGLISH.of course the undesirables would have to be deported you know the type drunk,lazy,violent...not english.....bring it on..

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