Mixed messages

Simon Hoggart

Wednesday, 27th May 2009

So it could be that ITV is saved not by a cigar-chomping, hot-shot show-biz executive but by a spinster from a Scottish village.

So it could be that ITV is saved not by a cigar-chomping, hot-shot show-biz executive but by a spinster from a Scottish village. The appearance of Susan Boyle in the first semi-final of Britain’s Got Talent (ITV, all week) was greeted with adoration — and audience figures — that would have been apt if Maria Callas had returned from the dead. Miss Boyle looked rapturously happy, and it was impossible not to feel delighted for her. She has had an unsung life of some difficulty; now, thanks to the internet, she is famed and celebrated around the world. Jay Leno, the American late-night talk-show host, sang dressed as her. There are politicians who would sacrifice their second homes allowance for such lavish, affectionate mockery.

But I have reservations. Miss Boyle is a fine singer, if not of the very first rank. Even a layman like me can spot that she has trouble with the lower notes, as she did this week performing ‘Memory’. But that’s not the point. She is distinctly plain. She actually looks rather like Jay Leno, with a less expensive hair-do. We are supposed to be amazed that someone who would not fetch a second glance in a bus queue can actually sing! The message was rubbed home by Ant and Dec when she first appeared. They sniggered and gurned, as if to say, ‘Look, an ugly old biddy, we can have a bit of a laugh.’ When it became clear that she had that voice, they appeared stunned.

BGT is a celebrity show in which celebrities hector and bully members of the public, some of whom are clearly selected only because they have ludicrous delusions of talent. When someone does have ability, the three judges welcome them as if to an exclusive club. One pair of comedians even wore Simon Cowell masks — people who want to be celebrities try to impress celebrities by dressing up as celebrities. I wish Miss Boyle a long and successful career, but the show is self-regarding and rather unpleasant.

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