Don’t underestimate the power of positive thinking

Wednesday, 2nd September 2009

Australian conservatives could turn their current woes around if only they would lighten up, says John Heard

There is a curious, random energy about conservative politics at the moment. Queer things keep happening. Eccentric figures monopolise the headlines. Just when the political climate appears to be turning mild (fair weather might be too much to expect, at this stage, for the opposition) strange patterns throw up a Godwin Grech, or the magnificent, ridiculous Wilson Tuckey. How these curios glitter and snarl in the light. How they fascinate.

Mr Tuckey actually led a walkout of Western Australian Liberal MPs from Parliament last week, and he was reported to have hurled abuse at Malcolm Turnbull from the floor. A week before, in an unrelated incident, Senator Bill Heffernan also featured in breathless reports. Apparently he gave Penny Wong the finger during a senate debate on the emissions trading scheme. No one cared that Senator Heffernan’s gesture was actually directed at Glenn Sterle, a government senator and Heffernan’s mate. Similarly, no one bothered, really, to find out what Mr Tuckey was grumbling about (not his leader, apparently). The vulgar scenes with the boorish twists were gripping enough.

Of course. Here were conservatives behaving badly.

First, there was poor Mr Grech, overwrought, complicated, and immensely compelling. He lit a fire under the leader of the opposition, and the cracker went off. Then, a fake email, and now there is a whiff of intrigue and skulduggery. Suddenly, it is fun. Now, the leader flails. Now, Joe Hockey is calling Mr Tuckey the ‘mad uncle’. Now the Mad Monk, Tony Abbott, has Sarah Murdoch launch his manifesto-cum-memoir. Now the coalition has a Frontier Economics report (see the problem there?), and now it has no ‘party room’ position at all, and now enter Greg Combet and Penny Wong, prosecuting the advantage — pointing out, quite correctly, that the government cannot negotiate with an opposition spokesman who does not have any amendments to discuss. Watch again, because here is Senator Heffernan and his finger. Do not turn away now, there is Mr Tuckey again. Face it, you would not want to miss this anyway. Watch their missteps again online and on cable. Startle, and sigh.

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