The ‘bovver birds’ are back
Sarah Standing’s daughter was attacked by a girl gang — but it wasn’t an isolated incident. Female thugs, of the sort who ran riot in the 1970s, are roaming the… Read more
Standing Room
Flying out of JFK on 11 September was a sombre experience. As I checked out of my hotel the concierge dropped his daily niceties as a mark of respect, and… Read more
Standing Room
Having made an ambitious campaign pledge and staked his domestic credibility on the promise to radically reform and restructure the health insurance industry, Barack Obama has been forced to endure… Read more
Standing Room
Louis Armstrong singing the Gershwins’ ‘Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off’ only touched the tip of the iceberg. Potato — potahto, tomato — tomahto; for two countries ostensibly sharing the… Read more
Standing Room
A new twist on an old favourite. Question: How many ministers/blondes/psychiatrists (feel free to fill in the social stereotype of your choice) does it take to change an old-fashioned 100-watt… Read more
Standing Room
The Borat-ish ‘burkini’ edict that’s currently causing ripples of concern in a handful of council-run leisure centres is undoubtedly going to provide a lot of challenging design opportunities for fashionistas.… Read more
Standing Room
Oh dear. Nearly 80 years ago Dorothy Parker wrote a bleak poem entitled ‘Resume’. Back then she must have thought she’d been fairly comprehensive in covering all possible self-inflicted exit… Read more
Standing Room
‘Last chance for Krakow. Krakow only. Sir, I am not interested in Belfast. When I DECIDE to be interested in Belfast I will inform you. Until then wait your turn… Read more
Standing Room
How nice all our daily lives used to be before millions of David Brent wannabes saw fit to take the mother of all executive decisions and irrevocably tip the scales… Read more
The swine flu panic will turn into a national sickie
First, the good news. And we all need good news. According to the Home Secretary, Alan Johnson, the UK is no longer at a ‘critical’ level of threat from a… Read more
Standing Room
All right, so perhaps I was a mite distracted. I was busy stirring a beetroot risotto, the television was on in the background, I had the telephone tucked under my… Read more
Standing Room
I’ve been reprimanded three times this week for ‘inappropriate behaviour’ — issued with a trio of verbal ‘warnings’. I’ve been reprimanded three times this week for ‘inappropriate behaviour’ — issued… Read more
Standing Room
When I was young, being given ‘options’ was a treat. When I was young, being given ‘options’ was a treat. It felt empowering — as though I were in complete control… Read more
Standing Room
Logging on to a university homepage I noticed that the first thing it flags up — breaking news — is that they’re installing a £56,000 digital satellite TV system which… Read more
Standing Room
I have the fear. The fear wakes me up at 3 a.m. and for a split second I forget what it is exactly that I’m frightened of. And then I… Read more
Standing Room
It’s always the smallest thing that tips one over the edge. It’s always the smallest thing that tips one over the edge. This week I cracked. I sat on the… Read more
Standing Room
When I was younger (old habits obviously die hard and you have to forgive me for not automatically writing ‘when I was young’ — it’s just going to take a bit… Read more
Standing Room
I am not one of those who believe that God made the highways solely in order for motorists to inherit the earth. But any milk of human kindness flowing through… Read more
Standing Room
Ideally I only ever want to come across the word ‘system’ when it’s used by an astronaut and sandwiched between ‘all’ and ‘go’. Ideally I only ever want to come… Read more

