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Tanya Gold rss

CBI Annual Conference 2014

There’s only one Alan Johnson (that's why Labour's in such trouble)

15 November 2014

Labour voters feel hope and despair; hope, because the Tories are doing no better than we, and despair, for that same reason. Left-wing politics are resurgent where it matters least… Read more

Mummy Exhibition Opens At The Art Science Museum

A buffet in an Egyptian tomb

15 November 2014

Atlantico is a vast buffet inside the Lopesan Costa Meloneras Resort Spa and Casino in Gran Canaria. The Lopesan Costa Melonoras Resort Spa and Casino — or, as I will… Read more

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Want to shake hands with your dinner? Beast is your kind of restaurant

1 November 2014

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke beastliness, which is not really beastliness at all. It is… Read more

Gymkhana

Gymkhana is morally disgusting – and fortunately the food’s disgusting too

18 October 2014

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian gymkhana clubs, set up by the British Raj, where members… Read more

(Photo:  Frazer Harrison/Getty)

Today’s Disney princesses look like Russian mafia wives. This is their café

4 October 2014

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods Disney Store, and also the Harrods Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, in… Read more

rextail

Rextail: a restaurant for billionaire children

20 September 2014

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant for billionaire men and their spindly billionaire wives — the… Read more

6600-fischers-clockroom-landscape

Fischer’s is like visiting Vienna without having to go to Austria (thank God)

6 September 2014

Fischer’s is Austria made safe for liberals, gays, Jews and other Untermenschen riffraff, because it is a restaurant, not a concentration camp, and because it is in Marylebone High Street,… Read more

Rhubarb has the loveliest, craziest dining room I have ever seen

23 August 2014

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival: the city is full of glassy-eyed narcissists eating haggis pizza off flyers that say Michael Gove: Prick. I saw the Grim Reaper in the Pleasance Courtyard,… Read more

Scenes In And Around London's Soho

L’Escargot is Soho as Soho sees itself

9 August 2014

L’Escargot, or the Snail, is a famous restaurant on Greek Street, Soho, opposite the old Establishment club; the oldest French restaurant in London, they say (1927), and who am I… Read more

The Queen And The Duke Of Edinburgh Visits Derbyshire

Does the Duke of Devonshire really want to be my friend – or is he just after my bank details?

26 July 2014

The Chatsworth estate, Derby-shire. I am overwhelmed by marketing literature. I am prostrate. I am weeping. I am staying in one of the Duke of Devonshire’s barns, renovated into a… Read more

DST

Dean Street Townhouse – at last! Somewhere I'd pay to eat

12 July 2014

Occasionally a critic must review a restaurant in which they are prepared to spend their own money. So here is the Dean Street Townhouse. It is a terrible name, because… Read more

At the Chiltern Firehouse, smugness should be on the menu

28 June 2014

Here then is Gatsby’s house, after an invasion by the Daily Mail. It is called the Chiltern Firehouse. It is a restaurant in a newly opened hotel in a Victorian… Read more

Fera at Claridges

Something wild – well, wild for Claridge's – in Gordon Ramsay's old cave

14 June 2014

Fera is in Gordon Ramsay’s old cave at Claridge’s. His red and yellow room, like a ripped-off arm, has been annihilated; here now is ‘restful’ green, and food by Simon… Read more

General Views Of Venice As Hayek Pinault Second Wedding Plans Develop

Harry’s Bar, where a slice of cake costs €32 – and is worth it

31 May 2014

Harry’s Bar is a dull pale box. This is remarkable in Venice, which is a hospice for dying palaces, held up aching over the world’s most charismatic puddle; Harry’s is… Read more

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The rudest restaurants in London

17 May 2014

Wong Kei is a mad Chinese restaurant on Wardour Street, Chinatown. Until recently it was considered the rudest restaurant in London and, because human stupidity is without end, it became… Read more

The Cherwell Boathouse

After visiting the Cherwell Boathouse, I might spare Oxford from burning

3 May 2014

It is now two decades since I lived in Oxford. I was then a drunk and lonely puddle of a person, with only a gift for screaming; but no matter… Read more

marcus

Marcus Wareing drops a name

19 April 2014

In the ‘Chefs’ Last Supper’ in the National Portrait Gallery, Marcus Wareing is throwing a brie at Gordon Ramsay, who plays Jesus. They both have restaurants in the celebrity-chef triangle… Read more

London House Lounge

Gordon Ramsay joins in the posh invasion of Battersea

5 April 2014

London House is in Battersea, which some people call South Chelsea, but is more East Wandsworth to my mind; or maybe North Clapham, or, even better, West Brixton. This is… Read more

Highgrove House Photo: Getty

Who dines at Highgrove when Prince Charles doesn't?

22 March 2014

Highgrove is the country house of the Prince of Wales. I write about Highgrove because, although it is not a restaurant, even of the wackiest kind — which can only… Read more

Moro interior

So is Moro a Tory restaurant now?

8 March 2014

Moro (‘moorish’ or ‘sexist’) is a Spanish restaurant on Exmouth Market, near the bones of the old Guardian and Observer building on Farringdon Road. I don’t mind telling Spectator readers… Read more

The Fable would do better as an American Psycho theme bar

22 February 2014

The Fable is three floors high and two days old, a monster newly hatched on the Holborn Viaduct; deep below is the valley of the River Fleet, which is genuinely… Read more

Lanes of London's Jammy Dodgers

Lanes of London is dining for Martians

8 February 2014

Lanes of London serves street food to people who hate streets; that is, it exists to soothe the still-curious mouths of lazy, wealthy paranoiacs. This is the character of the… Read more

Langan’s Brasserie Photo: Mark Hillary

The 1980s relics of Langan's Brasserie

25 January 2014

Langan’s Brasserie announces its presence with a long, pink neon line of Langanses, tootling prettily along its façade, which is opposite Marks & Spencer on Green Park. (The apostrophes, by… Read more

Woolley Grange

Tanya Gold: Child-friendly, sex-free, nut-heavy – just the hotel for my 40th birthday

11 January 2014

Woolley Grange is a child-friendly country house hotel that seems, at first, entirely monstrous — a grey Tudor house in Wiltshire, with gables like teeth and a pond outside, possibly… Read more

Food

Tanya Gold: The sheer horror of Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland

14 December 2013

Winter Wonderland is a Christmas-themed playground that lands on the sorry part of Hyde Park in November; the part that is munched underfoot, and is sad, and makes money. It… Read more