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Thursday, 3rd May 2007

The little shall inherit the earth

Mary Wakefield 1:41pm

Has anybody noticed that slowly, slowly, (little by little) short people are taking over the world? They took Hollywood many decades ago, beetling their way into the limelight with their bulging eyes and cuban heels. Then they quietly assumed the moral and spiritual high ground, with the truly minuscule Saint Mother Teresa and Gandhi. These days they're after political power. There used to be a ban on very short people becoming famous politicians -- they were there, in the background, but like rats or baby pigeons, they never dared show themselves in public. But now there's that charismatic little titch Sarkozy set to become President of France and the pint-sized tyrant Ahmadinejad in the east. Neither seem ashamed. And isn't Hillary Clinton on the short side?
Perhaps you can't see the danger in letting little people have their turn. Well. Just remember that old Randy Newman song:

Short people
  They got little hands
  And little eyes
  And they walk around
  Tellin' great big lies
  They got little noses
  And tiny little teeth
  They wear platform shoes
  On their nasty little feet
 
    They got little baby legs
  And they stand so low
  You got to pick 'em up
  Just to say hello
  They got little cars
  That got beep, beep, beep
  They got little voices
  Goin' peep, peep, peep
  They got grubby little fingers
  And dirty little minds
  They're gonna get you every time
  Well, I don't want no short people
  Don't want no short people
  Don't want no short people
  'Round here

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Primrose Smithy

May 3rd, 2007 4:27pm Report this comment

dictators famously have always been short. look at napoleon, and whatsisname, mussolini. someone should investigate whether there is a corollary between shortness and megalomania. I am worried that your research is flimsy and not as thorough as Paul Johnson's.

Lee Jakeman

May 3rd, 2007 11:36pm Report this comment

I am short (5'6"). However, I am also highly intelligent, which is why I've never felt inferior to others. Tall people who value their tallness, in my experience, do so because they haven't got much else.

Geoff Harrington

May 4th, 2007 2:05am Report this comment

Beware the intelligent short person. My daughter is both; I am neither. Short jokes were "in" until my birthday card announced "Father, I have always looked up to you, but I have to tell you. You have something up your nose".

Alan Sutton

May 4th, 2007 8:32am Report this comment

At last my chance to belong to a persecuted minority (I am 5 ft 2 in): "On behalf of the vertically challenged community I wish to object most strongly to the heightist remarks of your contributor. Does she not realise what great contributions the v-c community has made to the arts - Beethoven, Schubert, Dudley Moore......"

Ronnie Scott

May 4th, 2007 11:03am Report this comment

I'm so glad someone else remembers Randy Newman's tune fondly. We performed an a capella version of it at a concert at school, and as the headmaster, Canon (now Lord) Pilkington was himself lacking in the height department, some thought it distinctly daring - not to say rude - of the choirmaster to pick it.

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