A fat-fighting New Year?
Lisa Hilton 4:50pm
I love the gym on a January morning. The frantic flush on the faces of the bankers as they Stairmaster to redundancy, the quivers of the anorexics staggering into their fifth mile. Actually, there aren’t any anorexics. The anorexics of Bloomsbury are clearly lacking in New Year’s resolve. Hardly surprising, as despite the tsunami of publicity annually devoted to the perils of eating disorders, only 19 out of 1,000,000 women are suffering from anorexia, according to Clinical Knowledge Summaries, as opposed to the 240,000 afflicted with obesity. Hardly an epidemic, yet anorexia is one of those curious points of intersection where the Guardian and the Daily Mail agree. Despite being a lifestyle choice which clearly requires exceptional discipline, the jutting collarbones of the Grim Reaper apparently stalk the high street, lying in wait for any teenage girl whose self-esteem has plummeted due to an overdose of Heat.
One wonders then, whether Eric Pickles will succumb to detox pressure in 2009 or will he learn to love his curves? David Cameron has supposedly questioned Mr Pickles’s suitability to occupy a seat or two on his front bench on the grounds of the latter’s portliness. If Mr Cameron were serious about his prolier-than-thou credentials he might consider a more rotund shadow cabinet, as better representing Big-Mac Britain, but if Mr Pickles is to be streamlined he need look no further than Gymbox’s hot new workout “Chav Fighting”. “Protect yourself from the Youf (sic) of today”, promises the brochure, “Learn how to defend yourself from gangs of Hoodies, avoid Happy Slappings and feel safe in Knife Crime ridden London”. What could be more on message? Using a mixture of Krav Maga and other martial arts, Mr Pickles can expect to tone up whilst becoming ‘confident, switched on and ready for action”. Feeling lucky, fat cat?
Personally, I’m going for a balanced approach this year. In the morning, I’m aiming for cappuccino and croissants, with pasta and red wine, or possibly whisky, in the evening. But in between, I can eat anything I like.
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Comments
Austin Barry
January 6th, 2009 5:20pmLisa's writing is a paradox: it combines trivial content with an overly ornate and complex style. The result: unreadable tosh.
Dr Iago
January 6th, 2009 5:30pmWhy are you posting this vacuous rubbish? I have agree with a previous comment on this columnist, could the Spectator simply not employ one of the more articulate coffee housers (Nicholas or Verity) to provide something of wit and substance.
Lou Dacht
January 6th, 2009 6:21pmPork and beef dripping - it's the future man.
Fergus Pickering
January 6th, 2009 7:02pmWe want MORE fat politicians. Fat politicians won the second world war. Fat politicians gave us our first, and in some ways most successful Prime Minister. Fat politicians gave us a great Foreign Secretary just after the war. On the other hand Blair, Neville Chamberlain and bloody Mandelson are all thin. I rest my case.
Lou Dacht
January 6th, 2009 8:17pmWell said Fergus. Never give power to a thin man.
No man should have one fondant fancy until every man has two.
Craig Strachan
January 6th, 2009 10:37pmMy New Year's resolution is to join a gym.
Next year, I may resolve to go to it.
J (Hilton) Holloway
January 6th, 2009 11:05pmCobblers, but much better written cobblers.
You guys might be interested to know that LH has written quite a serious historical biog..
'Lisa Hilton is the critically acclaimed author of 'Athenais: The Real Queen of France' and 'Mistress Peachum's Pleasure'. She was educated at Oxford University, and presently lives in Central London.'
click here...
http://www.orionbooks.co.uk/11330-5/Author-Lisa-Hilton.htm
...for a glammy portrait of herself.
Annabel Herriott
January 6th, 2009 11:27pmCaesar. Let me have men about me that are fat;
Sleek-headed men, and such as sleep o' nights:
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
Fergus Pickering
January 7th, 2009 3:44amOh and I should have said fat politicians gave us my favourite American President - Theodore Roosevelt. And my favourite German Chancellor, cigar-smoking Erhardt who made the Germans rich. And General Galt... whoops! On the other hand he did help Margaret Thatcher win her next election so he wasn't ALL bad.
Nicholas
January 7th, 2009 7:57amDon't like fat fascism but it has been creeping onwards with every other kind of finger wagging, tut-tutting and censorious judgement that is so characteristic of this era in our country. If the gossip about Cameron and Pickles is true then it is disappointing.
The worship of image before substance is the great foolery of our time and has done us no favours. Is vanity, together with increasing nannyism, the natural result of women taking the lead in influencing our national psyche?