Let him who casts the first stone...
Toby Young 1:04pm
Few sights are more stomach-churning than the British press in one of its perennial fits of moral outrage. Judging by the leader columns of the past few days, the whole of Fleet Street is shocked -- shocked! -- to discover that MPs have been fiddling their expenses.
Could these be the same professionals I have worked alongside for the past 25 years? Apparently not, because the journalists I know are past masters when it comes to creative accounting.
I'll tell just one story, though I could bore you with at least a dozen. At the end of my first week as a News Trainee at the Times in 1986 I submitted my first ever expenses claim. I was worried it was a little extravagant -- I'd claimed for three lunches and two cab rides -- and my fears were confirmed when my then editor rejected it. "This won't do," he said, slamming the form down on my desk. "Get Nick to show you how it's done."
As he ran his eye over my claim, Nick shook his head with disbelief. "This is completely unacceptable," he said, barely able to conceal his outrage. "If you carry on submitting claims as modest as this, you'll end up making us all look bad."
He then whipped out his pencil and started marking it up, as if correcting a particularly poor piece of copy. Lunch bills were increased from £30 to £60; taxi fares had extravagant tips added to them; my evenings were now taken up with "drinks with contacts". By the end of the process, my claim had trippled in value. "Still pretty pathetic," he said, tossing it in my direction. "See if you can do better next week."
I'll spare Nick's blushes by not revealing his surname, but he was hardly exceptional. Everyone was on the fiddle -- and remember this was Fleet Street's most respectable newspaper. God knows what sort of claims they were submitting in other parts of Wapping.
If questioned about this behaviour, the defense offered up by Fleet Street's finest was exactly the same as that provided by MPs: everyone does it. It was considered one of the perks of the job, a way of compensating yourself for receiving such a low salary.
Until recently, journalists expressed no remorse about such behaviour, either. On the contrary, fiddling your expenses was a source of pride, the more imaginative, the better.
For instance, in Secrets of the Press, a collection of essays edited by Stephen Glover, there's a chapter entitled 'How to claim a camel on expenses'. The story is related of how an enterprising Express hack, who'd been keeping a camel for racing purposes while posted in some godforsaken African country, managed to claim the entire expense of stabling the beast under the heading of "local transport". Arf, arf, trebles all round.
Perhaps that explains why so many of my colleagues have suddenly got up on their high horses and are now wagging their fingers at MPs. When the dust settles, they intend to claim said beasts under "local transport".
For more blog posts by Toby Young, head over to www.tobyyoung.co.uk
Previous
Euan
May 13th, 2009 1:34pm Report this commentI remember hearing about how journalists on the Reuters trainee programme were regaled with a tale of how one intrepid reporter did his expenses. He was based somewhere in the Arctic north and claimed a large sum for keeping his requisite kennel of huskies.
Each year the receipts would pile in and each year the London office would stare quizzically at the tabs only to be told a husky sledge was essential for the job. Then a couple of days before an editor was due in with prying eyes, a new receipt landed on the London desk - one from the vet- all of a sudden the poor dogs had fallen ill and had to be put down.
Peter Wilson
May 13th, 2009 1:37pm Report this commentBill Bryson, in his book; 'Notes from a Small Island' has something to say regarding Newspaper expenses during the '80s.
Though it's worth remembering that MP's expenses are funded by us - the taxpayer, I have a choice whether to buy a newspaper or not
Andy Carpark
May 13th, 2009 1:59pm Report this commentThis superbly crafted story is as edifying as it is moving as it is rivetting. Which is to say, none of the above.
Is it true that all your hair fell out as a result of eating too many beefburgers?
kardinal birkutzki
May 13th, 2009 2:08pm Report this commentThe expression "just doesn't get it" has been widespread in the media and blogosphere for some days now.
Myself, I've noticed a couple of particularly pathetic attempts to justify the kleptocracy that is Westminster. Aranovitch was especially juvenile; Finkelstein was extremely disappointing and dishonest in wrongly defending personal friends; Widdecombe was her usual, shrill, blithering self.
So what are we to make of Toby? Apparently, because Toby and the people he associates with are dishonest, then -two wrongs making a right as any 4th former knows- that makes it alright for everyone to cheat....
Meanwhile, back down on planet earth, normal people know that if they ever, under any circumstances whatever, falsify their expenses they will be summarily fired; anyone who makes a "mistake" on his tax return will be imprisoned or fined. But that's OK for the Great and the Good, because everyone (that Toby knows) does it.
The reference was made today to politburo members driving round in limousines while the real people pay 105% taxes in the old Soviet bloc. An exaggeration (for the moment) but an apt image. The average man sees the political classes and those who associate with them as totally and utterly removed from the reality of everyday existence for the common man. And that seems to be why we have to endure the kind of comments we are now hearing: effectively the political classes are blaming the situation on the stupid, ignorant electorate who are being whipped up by the Daily Telegraph. The electorate has gravely let down the Government and should be sacked.
I am led to believe that you had a famous Father who may have had some justification for his celebrity; my word, and he spawned an Oxbridge intellectual so high on his own sense of worth and so cocooned in his environment that he comes out with this kind of 6th form debating society nonsense. One rule for those at the top, one rule for those at the bottom - is that what was meant by "meritocracy"?
Toby, this is a shameless article, truly at the level of Michael Martin; you just do not get it, and you clearly never will...
C Powell
May 13th, 2009 2:40pm Report this commentJournalists don't get paid out of taxpayers' money; MPs do. That's the difference.....
If we don't pay our taxes, we can be sent to prison as a result of laws passed by MPs (though they're careful to exempt themselves from those tax laws e.g. on benefits-in-kind they don't like).
We're entitled to expect that our MPs do not misuse money obtained from us (under threat of criminal sanction) for private gain. So what if a journalist fiddles his expenses; that's a matter between him and his employer
Sorry to be pompous about this. But is it too much to ask to expect our MPs to behave with honesty and integrity and to be subject to the same laws as the rest of us?
Or is this concept too difficult for the commentariat and political class to grasp?
patently
May 13th, 2009 2:50pm Report this commentOh please.
Where in the article does Toby seek to justify MPs fiddling their expenses? He is simply pointing out the hypocrisy of the journalists, not seeking to establish the blamelessness of the politicians.
Grow up. 6th form debating society nonsense, indeed.
Colin
May 13th, 2009 2:55pm Report this commentYeah right, interesting, whatever...
To be honest few of us give a stuff about the Scott Trust or the Barclay brothers being ripped off by jorno's.
The real scandal in relation to the press is the FACT that for 12 years, at least, they've turned a blind or at best a disinterested eye to all sorts of shenanigans at Westminster. It's a bit late in the day to shout that MP's are ripping us off now.
Perhaps, if, when it was discovered that Blair and Brown were lying about the taking a "Bernie", the press had held them both properly to account - ie resignations, as would have been the case not so long before - we all might be living in a much better place.
In my view that incident was the turning point. As soon as they survived that, they knew they were untouchable, as far as the press were concerned.
Cheers Toby!
Aslak
May 13th, 2009 3:22pm Report this commentAnd it's "let HIM", not that all-too-common illiteracy "let he".
Ken
May 13th, 2009 3:37pm Report this comment@ Colin.
Exactly.
What's more the point which Young Toby entirely misses is that morally equivocating MPs are stealing taxpayer's money while passing laws to ensure that should we try similar re HMRC, we go to jail.
Furthermore journos, like any other employee on the take, are subject to instant dismissal if caught.
The climate on fiddling in the workplace has changed dramatically since you were a trainee Mr Young, MPs have failed to keep up.
Brian Micklethwait
May 13th, 2009 3:37pm Report this commentI think this is a good posting. Not good in the sense of morally elevated, but good as in revealing. It does much to explain why it took the bloggers (one in particular) joining in to blow the lid off all this. The journos at least had the minimal dignity to refrain from yelling about something they were also doing themselves.
Might the fury of the journos now have something to do with times now getting tougher for them?
Tomas
May 13th, 2009 4:00pm Report this commentDrivel in your Speccie column, and now drivel in a blog - please spare us.
Prodicus
May 13th, 2009 4:05pm Report this commentI couldn't give a toss how much Rupert's hacks rip him off on exes. Or the Barclay twins. I'm not paying for their 'evenings with contacts' and their research into the byways of Ugandan politics. Well, only such a tiny bit of it that it would take the rest of my life for it to add up to a penny.
The BBC is a different case. They extract big money from me and from everyone (except Charles Moore, of course) regardless of ability to pay (even the government does not go that far) and on pain of legal violence, too. Poll tax.
I can't see why BBC staff are not in the same case as MPs, only worse. We can't vote out Robinson, Crick and Humphrys every five years. Therefore they owe us more transparency then MPs, in exchange for greater job security.
I want to see Nick Robinson's exes up on the interweb thingy, in full, immediately.
Alternatively, he can hold a press conference like Cammo did and tell us in detail why that is an unreasonable request.
The 'I am a Company' dodge will not be acceptable.
Jack Irvine
May 13th, 2009 4:29pm Report this commentWhen I was at The Sun in the late eighties we ran up a dinner bill for 12 of my journalists in Glasgow's very upmarket Ubiquitous Chip restaurant which so obscenely massive that it had to be classified by the accountants as "repairs to printing plant roof." From then on anything equally excessive was referred to as a "roofing job." Mind you we did sell a hell of a lot of newspapers in these days.
Dave B
May 13th, 2009 4:52pm Report this commentThis just shows how dishonest Young is. Not only does he defraud his employer he also believes that Journalists should then cover up the MPs who rip off the tax payers. So far about £80,000 has been returned to tax payers from information provided by The Telegraph.
Journalists and Stephen Fry keep telling us everyone fiddles their expenses. Most ordinary people don't get expenses. My wife is a special needs teacher working at 6 different schools. For the last two years she has had a laptop provided by the LEA. Before that she had to provide her own computer. She is still expected to provide a printer and paper. It is a condition of the job that she has to have a car for which she can claim 6p per mile. Whilst her mileage is very low in order to fit everything she needs for the day we had to change from a Clio to a Scenic to have enough boot space.
And we have to put up with people like Toby boasting about fiddling his expenses!
David Ossitt
May 13th, 2009 4:52pm Report this commentToby; you are telling porky pie's; the story you tell is an urban myth: -
"As he ran his eye over my claim, Nick shook his head with disbelief. "This is completely unacceptable," he said, barely able to conceal his outrage. "If you carry on submitting claims as modest as this, you'll end up making us all look bad"
But never mind; many in your profession can't tell truth from fiction.
But I do enjoy reading your bit in the Spectator, only now I will take what you write with a pinch of salt.
insider
May 13th, 2009 5:29pm Report this commentthis is brilliant!! From all accounts the advertising industry is just as bad, claiming new jimmy choos for shoots as "props". But I have to say I agree with Peter Wilson who says MPs have been spending our money, whereas other industries have not, so it is 10 times worse...
Bryan Dunleavy
May 13th, 2009 6:09pm Report this commentSo Stephen Fry tells us in his best patrician tones that we are all being petit bourgeois abou this and now Toby Young informs us that journalists on national newspapers routinely fiddle their expenses. What is this? The Empire Strikes back
I don't give a stuff if employees in the private sector are fiddling their expenses. That's between them and their employer; not my business.
However people I elect to look after my country's best interests do matter and it does matter how they use our tax money. So perhaps you and Aaronovitch should go off on an expenses paid lunch together, order the most expensive bottle of wine, and think of a smarter way to defend the indefensible.
Oliver Kamm
May 13th, 2009 6:11pm Report this commentIt's a minor point, but I can't bear to read that headline. Please rewrite it in English: "Let HIM who casts the first stone...."
The biblical quotation, incidentally, is: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
Once you've changed the headline, you can delete this comment. But please change the headline.
Toby Young
May 13th, 2009 7:10pm Report this commentI'm not attempting to defend MPs for fiddling their expenses, merely drawing attention to the hypocrisy of journalists who condemn them for it. It was intended as a light-hearted contribution to the discussion, but, obviously, feelings are running high on this topic.
David Ossitt, I can assure you this story is 100 per cent true. I can still see the look of appalled disbelief on Nick's face as I write this.
David Ossitt
May 13th, 2009 7:17pm Report this commentSorry for going to another subject but is anyone else having problems with Autofil?
It has worked splendidly in the past but now comes up with the message Autofil not available for this page.
Any ideas?
Verity
May 13th, 2009 8:31pm Report this commentRegarding Margaret Moron and that £22,000 to fix dry rot, am I wrong in the perception that the dry rot was in her boyfriend's house in Southampton or somewhere? Or does she own that house as well as the house in Luton? If so, is her boyfriend living rent free, or does she derive an income from letting it to him?
She strikes me as a real sleaze, and that she jumped forward so quickly to offer to pay the dry-rot money back tells me that the office in charge of MPs' expenses could probably profitably dig deeper.
Ned Kelley
May 13th, 2009 10:51pm Report this commentTotally off topic but I'm getting really pi**ed off with waiting for that interest to disappear down the plug hole before a page will load.
Is it something to do with my computer or is it the latest technique for trying to make us watch and take in the advertising message.
If the latter please stop it - the only effect it has had on me so far is strengthen my resolve to to even look out who's advert it is
Verity
May 14th, 2009 3:23am Report this commentNed Kelly - Agreed!
There's also an intruder called Holiday of A Lifetime (like the copywriter would know) from The Spectator itself and it colonises the site and there is no way to get back without closing the window and starting again. Like, right.
Believe, Speccie, I will never be a Holiday of A Lifetime customer. When it happens, I just float away elsewhere and stay away.
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