Winning Eurovision, Blair-style
Fraser Nelson 1:02pm
As soon as I saw Norway's entry on Eurovision last night, I knew what the vikings were up to: doing a Blair. Here in the land of fjords and A-Ha, their entry was a Minsk-born Russian with cossack-style dancers in a naked pitch for slavic votes. And what a success it was: the full 12 points from Belarus, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Russia, Slovenia and Ukraine. Time was when Blair thought he could control the EU this way as well, appeal to the former Warsaw Pact countries (who had good reason to fear loss of sovereignty) by coming up with his vision of free-market EU of nation states, opposing the Franco-German federalist model. But the voting balance in the EU led Blair to defeat, and he sacrificed much rebate in vain. The Eurovision system gives ex-Soviet states far more muscle, as many tiny countries (such as Moldovaand Azerbaijan) are all in there with the same voting weight as Germany. Norway is not even an EU member* but it has obviously learned much from observation.
Eurovision has coped with the Soviet breakup and EU expansion far better than the EU itself has. It has a UN-style council of permanent members: the UK, France, Germany and Spain who are guaranteed to qualify. while the remaining 40 battle it out. And by letting 50% of the votes come from the public, it has introduced a level of participatory democracy that Brussels could never stomach. Putin treated this like the Olympics, spending £35m on the whole event (the Russian entry was so bad that it looked to me like a deliberate attempt not to win again, and bear the costs again). The whole event showed the best and the worst of Europe - Ukraine's entry looked like an advert for its sex industry, Denmark's entry was a hilarious - a guy pretending to be Ronan Keating. Greece gave us the kind of guy who British girls spend holidays in Corfu trying to avoid, and Britain provided a girl who could sing - which is a change from recent years. All told, if Eurovision were to take over the running of the EU (ie, no vetos and a high level of public voting) then I suspect things would be far healthier in Brussels.
* But Norway has to swallow all the EU directives still, as the cost of being in the free trade area.
UPDATE: it's Norway's national day today which makes their victory all the sweeter. I'm in Stockholm, where the weather is stunning, and there are Norwegian flags everywhere. They have long been outshone by Sweden in the musical stakes, so today is a time to savour victory. Life could get better still. Its September elections could yield a conservative government and the superb Siv Jensen for prime minister. So 2009 could be well be Norway's year.
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Percy Topliss
May 17th, 2009 1:29pm Report this commentCongrats Norge and happy National Day. Aquavits all round.
I look forward to next year's ceremony in what I'm sure will be a splendid brand new concert hall which was started ages ago.
What a gamble that was eh? Arf arf.
paracelsus
May 17th, 2009 1:33pm Report this commentI still can't believe that song won. It should have been Iceland.
Oh well, roll on next year's contest. I wonder who'll preside over another failed UK entry in Oslo?
Verity
May 17th, 2009 1:34pm Report this commentProof that it is stupid is the presence of Turkey and, even more ludicrous, Israel.
Tasha
May 17th, 2009 2:30pm Report this commentUkraine wasnt the worst! she was different. What about Germany? they had the same topic! England had a chance, but it wasnt the best.... so dont be so sarcastic about others
Austin Barry
May 17th, 2009 2:42pm Report this commentFraser, I suspect that this post is the unfortunate consequence of the lurid hyper-kinetics of the song contest and too much aquavit. Best stick to the rollmops.
Thrasymachus
May 17th, 2009 3:10pm Report this commentMoldovaand Azerbaijan? What new post-Soviet republic is this? Oh you mean tiny countries like Moldova (same size as The Netherlands) or Azerbaijan (larger than Austria). Surely, you mean insignificant, right?
Don't hide it, Eastern Europeans are no fools. They know only too well how condescendingly they are viewed in the West.
Paul B
May 17th, 2009 3:14pm Report this commentHonestly Fraser, I would rather watch paint dry, than watch the tasteless blancmange of puerile bollocks, masquerading as a pan European television entertainment.Like the EC, its so fake and false,it represents all that is bad in modern day Europe, its a metaphor for moronic bilge. (I did however enjoy Abba's subsequent career)
Ray
May 17th, 2009 3:32pm Report this commentActually, Eurovision and the EU have a lot in common: every other European nation cynically wheels-and-deals into getting what it wants whilst Britain - noble to the last - blithely assumes that decisions will be reached purely on their merits.
EC
May 17th, 2009 4:00pm Report this commentNorway is probably the only competitor country that can afford to host next year's Eurovision extravaganza. They recently completed their new $800 million opera house project in Oslo. Not bad for a fishing village. A coincidence or was it part of the master plan ;-)
Tom Cobley
May 17th, 2009 4:13pm Report this commentThrasymachus - According to Wikipedia:
Population estimates: Netherlands(16,500,156) Austria(8,316,487) Azerbaijan(8,177,717) Norway(4,805,437) Moldova(4,128,047)
Area km^2: Norway(385,252) Azerbaijan(86,600) Austria(83,872) Netherlands(41,526) Moldova(33,846)
I expect Fraser meant population: that is the most relevant for discussions of voting rights, do you not agree?
But you're right about Azerbaijan, which has a larger population than Bulgaria, Slovakia, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Ireland, Lithuania, Latvia, Slovenia, Estonia, Cyprus, Luxembourg and Malta.
Anyway, well done Norway.
Norwegian Speccie reader
May 17th, 2009 4:14pm Report this commentFirsly - no 'cossack-style' dancers but traditional Norwegian folk dancers... so no appeal to Russian voters there. Rybak's Hardinger fiddle is also of an entirely Norwegian, 9 string design.
Secondly - he won the national (Norw.) competition because he is a great performer, of a song he has written himself, and is one of the greatest violin players the country has fostered in the last 50 years. Norwegians had no Russian voters in mind when opting for Rybak.
Austin Barry's comment on aquavit seems appropriate.
However, regarding the EU directives, it is true that Norway is an 'EU colony'. Since rejecting EU membership in 1994, the joke has been that voters supporting membership should have voted 'no'm and vica versa.
I also agree that Iceland has the best singer, Johanna. She was also by far the most beautiful female singer, and all natural.
Norm
May 17th, 2009 4:25pm Report this commentPercy,
Keep an eye out for the Belgian entry! Arf arf.
British Gas
May 17th, 2009 4:26pm Report this commentAzerbaijan insignificant? Not if you want to warm in the winter. About time we woke up to the deals the Germans (and Italians) are cutting with the Russians for gas. Deja vu for the Poles. Most likely it will be this that scuppers the EU.
Oscar
May 17th, 2009 6:03pm Report this commentFascinating analysis. And Graham Norton was pretending it was all about music not politics. A sad delusion I'm afraid.
sussexed
May 17th, 2009 6:27pm Report this commentYou neglect to add that up until last year, 100% of the popular vote chose the winner but that didn't suit the permanent members because they didn't get a look in...democracy, eh?
Stephen
May 17th, 2009 6:37pm Report this commentEngland, Tasha? I think it was the UK.
Oscar
May 17th, 2009 6:56pm Report this commentAnd how European is Azerbaijan Verity?
Customs Union
May 17th, 2009 6:59pm Report this commentNorway swallows about a sixth of the directives and regulations that full EU members suffer.
Also, the EU is not a free-trade area, it is a customs union. The distinction is crucial and is why the UK cannot trade with the rest of the world on its own terms. You free-marketeers shouldn't be gulled by the EU, Fraser.
Thrasymachus
May 17th, 2009 7:46pm Report this comment'Tom Cobley' - I don't mind admitting that I chose the stats (i.e. surface area) that made my point. But in my defence, it's human nature that we think of area when someone talks of a country's size viz.: "tiny."
Still, I should have kept my big mouth shut. 'British Gas' above, makes my point for me a lot more persuasively and pithily.
Lucy Sharp
May 18th, 2009 12:33am Report this commentWe didn't win because our song was a cheesy repetitive dirge. Norway's was memorable and original (and sung in English, not normally calculated to wow a Russian-speaking audience). The singer was a handsome boy who mimed playing a traditional Norwegian fiddle. What's not to like?
I still think the Latvian pirate song, With A Yo Ho Ho, should have won last year, though.
Verity
May 18th, 2009 4:50am Report this commentOscar, haven't a clue. So what? Israel and Turkey have no place in a European song contest. Neither do Argentina, which I feel sure would have the good taste not to apply, or Bermuda.
NicholasT
May 18th, 2009 2:23pm Report this comment"Naked pitch for slavic votes.....Latvia, Lithuania...."
Don't stop off in Riga or Vilnius on your way home, Fraser..
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