PMQs of the undead
Lloyd Evans 3:15pm
Usually it’s the war-dead who overshadow the start of PMQs. Today it was the undead. Brown is back and if the Labour rebels really believed his promise to ‘listen’ their trust seems to have been misplaced. This was the Brown of old, the unbudgeable slab of granite, the obsessive numerologist casting statistics in all directions like a witchdoctor sprinkling charms to ward off evil. Two planted questions gave him a chance to bring up the ‘ten percent reduction’ allegedly referred to by Andrew Lansley in this morning’s interview about Tory spending plans.
Brown seemed to be cruising at this point. With his statement on electoral reform in his pocket he had the air of a statesman with a comfortable majority rather than a panicky has-been who saved himself from defenestration two days ago by slamming the window shut at the last minute. Cameron stood up with a ready-made quip. ‘How pleased I am to see the prime minister in his place.’ Brown shrank physically at this, staring obsessively into his lap like an anxious schoolboy trying to magic himself out of danger.
Cameron explained that the Tories support the existing electoral system, ‘because you can throw out weak, tired and discredited governments.’ He asked if the prime minister planned to hold a referendum before the general election. Brown had flicked the switch by now, restoring himself to Gladstonian mode. He welcomed Cameron’s decision to discuss the issues and added sorrowfully, ‘there seems to be an element of self-interest in the way he is discussing policy.’ This brought the house down. Even the Tory whips joined in. So did the Speaker. ‘Tew noisy!’ he bawled which prompted more catcalls. He swivelled his massive pink trunk towards the Tories. ‘And I’m not getting much help from the chief whup!’
Cameron poured scorn on Brown’s apparent opportunism, calling it an attempt ‘to fix the rules before the next election.’ Brown flayed uselessly with the accusation that the Tories planned 10 percent cuts across the board and Cameron was withering in reply, calling Brown’s government ‘the worst in history’ whose ultimate legacy would be the mismanagement of public finances. This cheered Brown up. He unsheathed the most perilous weapon in his armoury. Tedium. ‘Let me read the figures for public spending,’ he said and reeled them off from memory. By the time he’d finished, my keyboard was smoking. Brown can hype faster than I can type. As an ultra-boring finale he repeated his mantra that the Tories’ only policy is to do nothing. This was more a skirmish than a full-blooded battle and I have a suspicion Cameron was expecting to face the Postman today not the Presbyterian.
Clegg had a pop at Brown but seemed tired and shell-shocked after last week’s election results. ‘People are angry and frustrated,’ he said looking angry and frustrated. His chosen topic – council housing – is hardly the talk of the town and he lacked a decent soundbite. After several excellent weeks, Clegg flopped.
The only star from the back benches was Mark Harper, Con, Forest of Dean. With great rapidity and forensic skill he revealed that Labour had broken a specific promise to fund regional authorities in his area. Brown had no answer but repeated the old jibe about Tory cuts. Harper is one to watch.
Cameron’s real problem is that the PM is now so weak he could barely put up a fight against Andy Pandy. How do you discredit an opponent whose friends can’t credit him? How do you finish off a man who is finished? How do you ridicule ridicule itself? He mustn’t make it look too easy and Cameron struck the right notes today. Anger, impatience, mockery – and a bit more anger. Exactly.
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John Page
June 10th, 2009 3:32pm Report this commentCameron continues to attack the wrong topics and seems to have no competing narrative on state spending.
Verity
June 10th, 2009 3:39pm Report this commentLloyd Evans for Speccie Parliamentary Correspondent! Well limned, Mr Evans, and very funny.
As an aside, can I recommend burning all the tired old photos of tired old Gordon Brown, they all look identical, and not bothering with a photo. They're all glued together in my mind ...
Ronnie
June 10th, 2009 4:13pm Report this commentHow?
You let him keep hanging himself. His arrogance and lack of self-awareness are his weaknesses. Help him make the most of them, be patient and play a straight bat.
But keep an eye on Mandelson. Be ready for the moment he overstretches. It shouldn't be long now.
The Laughing Cavalier
June 10th, 2009 4:46pm Report this commentBut this "unbudgeable slab of granite" promised he would change ...
andy c
June 10th, 2009 4:46pm Report this commentIf goldfish like you stopped denigrating PMQs to the level of the fish market the level of political debate in this country, and its analysis, would surely rise.
Go watch Big Brother instead and exercise your not insubstantial cynicism on that.
David Lindsay
June 10th, 2009 5:02pm Report this commentOnly able to reach twenty-eight per cent of thirty-five per cent is a pretty good definition of "weak, tired, discredited".
That it was still more than anyone else managed doesn't exactly make matters any better, to say the very least.
Henry Wood
June 10th, 2009 5:13pm Report this commentI found it interesting that in their joint condemnation of the BNP (condemnation I agree with) neither party had the courage to mention the elephant in the room alongside the other side shows such jobs for Brits etc. Open door immigration is what needs addressing and until it is the BNP will grow and grow.
Nick
June 10th, 2009 5:23pm Report this commentI agree that the star today was Mark Harper. At every PMQ the Tory backbenchers waste their chance to upset the PM by asking questions that it is all too easy for him to reply to, usually with a list of his (illusory) accomplishments.
It's necessary to fight Brown's tractor statistics with tractor statistics showing his policies not working. Hence Mark Harper's success today because, in the face of Brown's supposed "investment" Harper could reel off a list of actual "spending cuts" that had happened in his consistuency.
Percy
June 10th, 2009 5:31pm Report this commentThe real problem Chernenko has is that most people tune in to watch him make an arse of himself.
Let's face it the best thing he said today was, refering to Cameron, "he's mentioned policy, but he now seems to be putting self-interest first." Oh the hubris... oh the hypocrasy, that's what we want!
As long as the Great Helmsman is 'saving the world' or visiting 'Obama Beach' his fans will be happy!
Verity
June 10th, 2009 6:20pm Report this commentJohn Page - Well observed! Seconded!
Wight Tory
June 10th, 2009 6:30pm Report this commentIf it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims in circles and limps...its a lame duck!
I'd prefer DC constantly putting the boot in, GB would do so if he could in spades, wounding isn't good enough. Kill the beast, long live the beast killer, do or be done, want an election? make it impossible to survive one. And one other thing, do PMQ's in 2 hits of three, once DC is out the way the pressure eases, that is markedly visable.
David Lindsay
June 10th, 2009 6:51pm Report this comment"His chosen topic – council housing – is hardly the talk of the town"
Which town? In Clegg's own Sheffield and all the other places where it's a straight fight the Lib Dems and Labour (Newcastle, Manchester, Liverpool, Bristol, &c), they talk about council housing quite a bit.
Ian Walker
June 10th, 2009 7:02pm Report this commentJust once, I'd love DC to pick something we know for certain Brown will lie about, e.g. spending cuts in real terms, and just ask him the same question six times, Paxo style.
Would probably get on the news, and might mean that that particular Brownie gets buried for good.
Moraymint
June 10th, 2009 8:46pm Report this commentI agree that David Cameron needs to be relentless and ruthless in his attacks on Brown; he needs to punch him, chop him, kick him at every opportunity; and kick him when he's down. Brown does not operate by any known rules of decency in anything that he does. That's why he's now an illegitimate Prime Minister, stupid.
Like I've said before, Brown is an Orc: he is immensely dense and virtually indestructible. Playing clever, subtle games with Brown is a waste of ammunition. Cameron's single-minded mission must be to destroy Brown. Trying anything fancy or anything less will result in Tory failure.
Not the usual biased poster
June 10th, 2009 9:22pm Report this commentBack to your usual diatribe of glorying Cameron no matter what he does.
"Dave breathed in today, but oh, what a deep breathe.He then breathed out, but it was not just any breathe out...it was a fantastic one, one that oozed class and panache. He then stared across at Brown, not just any stare but a stare of stares. Then he spoke, it was like angels singing from heaven etc etc etc."
Tissueometer - a orgasmic 9 out of 10.
jose garcia
June 11th, 2009 6:16am Report this commentcameron doesnt have the balls to walk out of parliament and force a general election, simple as that.
this isnt a goverment in power, it hasnt been for years
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