Subscribe to The Spectator

Sunday 27 May 2012

Latest issue

Buy the current issue

Jobs at Telegraph

Monday, 9th July 2007

Boris for Mayor: A ten-step program

5:23pm

1) Do you remember in Peter Pan when poor Tinkerbell fades away because no-one believes in fairies, and how miraculously she perks up when the children begin to clap? Well, it’s the same with Boris.  I’m not saying that he responds to applause like fairy, just that the first step is faith. Exorcise your doubts right now: Believe in Boris!

2) Prepare a retort for the naysayers. Insecure and ambitious men will cry ‘buffoon!’ But Boris has done a good job as higher education minister, written serious books and made ancient history accessible. If he’s an idiot, what does that make the rest of us?

3) Then get online. There are hundreds of bloggers out there all tap-tapping away about Boris’s prospects. Log on. Join in. As we say round here. This site in particular needs an injection of enthusiasm:

4) The Cameroons are keeping an interested eye on the levels of  support so join any Boris for mayor groups you can find. There’s squillions of them, especially on horrible old Facebook. (Boris for Mayor, Support Boris etc etc)

5) Send Boris your thoughts about London. If he’s going to rise like Godzilla from the sea of sub-standard candidates, he needs to know what matters to Londoners.
Put London in the subject field and email your ideas to: johnsonb@parliament.uk

6) Are you a Henley resident? Henley needs persuading that Boris need not stand down as MP during his mayoral campaign. Write to the Oxfordshire Tories at:
group@oxfordshireconservatives.com. Or 8 Gorwell, Watlington OX49 5QE

7) London Calling was one of Boris’s Desert Island discs and it’ll be the theme tune for his campaign. Learn the lyrics and sing it as you go to work, as you cycle over Tower Bridge & sing it at Ken in the beating hulk of the GLA.

8) Encourage Steve Norris and Michael Portillo to sneer at Boris. It makes them look silly and frightened.

9) Design and make a decent Boris 4 Mayor T-shirt and then we’ll advertise it on Coffee House.

10) It’s a true, though much-doubted fact that Boris for Mayor wasn’t Cameron’s idea. So call the Conservative party (+44 (0) 20 7222 9000) and ask them to give BJ the support he needs.

Blogs: Martin Bright | Susan Hill | Alex Massie | Melanie Phillips | Faith Based | Cappuccino Culture

Actions: Email to a friend  |   Permalink   |   Comments (8) | Subscribe

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Comments Post comment

Disraeli's Ghost

July 9th, 2007 6:26pm Report this comment

So, does this mean he's running?

Anthony C

July 9th, 2007 6:55pm Report this comment

Step 11 - Don't get into the habit of referring to Boris as "BJ".

Perry

July 10th, 2007 12:26am Report this comment

Yes please, Boris for Mayor, and more besides. What a sweet relief it would be to have someone cut through the gush, piffle, and dissembling.

blonde bombshell

July 10th, 2007 10:23am Report this comment

When do the candidates have to out themselves?
Very exciting stuff! Hooray for Boris!

Jonathan Sheppard

July 10th, 2007 10:52am Report this comment

And if people want to leave a message for Boris that can be turned into a podcast they can do so by calling 0845 257 0 427 Tell Boris why he should stand.

JP Stilwell

July 10th, 2007 7:46pm Report this comment

Here's T-shirt idea: "Run Boris Run"! (below a picture of Boris in his running kit of course...)

Wine Dark C

July 12th, 2007 11:15am Report this comment

Boris for Mayor!
This city's in crisis.
Why settle for Ken
When you can have Dionysus?

Anthony Ozimic

July 12th, 2007 3:52pm Report this comment

I'll vote for Boris if he abjures his Gibbonian error that Christians were somehow involved in the decline and fall of the Roman Empire! And I'll definitely vote for him if he'll become a Roman Catholic!

Post comment

Back to top

Cartoons

Tag Cloud

Coffee House archive

sponsored links

Spectator recommends

Spectator classifieds

THE PRESENT FINDER

1,700 Unusual Christmas Presents Request Catalogue 01935 815 195 Quote SPEC10 for 10% discount www.presentfinder.co.uk

OLIVE BRANCH FLORISTS

Pimilco based Florist with online ordering Web: www.olivebranch.net Tel: 020 7630 1868 Fax: 020 7233 8844

RUFFS Bespoke Signet rings

62 Shore Road, Warsash, Southampton, SO31 9FT Telephone: 01489 578867 Web site: www.ruffs.co.uk