Etonians and Bolsheviks
Lloyd Evans 2:52pm
A terrific PMQs today. This exchange had it all. Noise, laughter, rhetoric, anger, humiliation, jokes, and dramatic swings in the balance of advantage. We even had a sighting of that great Westminster rarity – a fact. Cameron’s first question elicited simple information. Would our troops start returning from Afghanistan in 2010 or 2011? Brown didn’t quite answer it but said that by 2011 the combined forces, including Afghans, would number 300,000, by which point the military burden ‘will start to change’. Cameron clarified. ‘That sounds more like 2011.’ Brown didn’t demur.
Turning to the economy Cameron asked why Britain is the last G20 country to come out of recession.Brown: We aren’t. What about Spain? Here Brown was wrong, (Spain isn’t in the G20), but Cameron didn’t spot the gaffe and he looked temporarily uneasy. Swelling with confidence, Brown turned up the pressure. ‘Either he has a policy which he wishes to put forward ...’ (Huge laughter from Labour) ‘Or he’s simply talking down Britain.’ (Riotous Labour cheers.)
Undeterred Cameron berated Brown for creating the recession and expecting us to be ‘pathetically grateful’ for his handling of it. He rattled off a list of economies which are way ahead of us in groping their way back to growth. ‘What did the prime minister mean when he said we were leading the rest of the world out of recession?’ Brown felt chipper enough to ignore this embarrassing reminder. ‘We haven’t had a single policy from him,’ he said, and he offered a prepared flourish which delighted his backbenchers. ‘The voice may be that of the modern PR man. The mindset is that of the 1930s.’
When Cameron stood up again the house was so rowdy he had to tick off individual members of the Cabinet. ‘The Children’s Secretary is up to his old tricks again.’ Ed Balls shrugged guiltily. ‘You’d think he’d spend more time in his ultra marginal constituency,’ said Cameron. ‘But the more he meets people, the more likely we are to win it.’ That sounded nasty rather than funny. Cameron has an unfortunate vice as a comedian. Coldness. After reeling off a list of bogus Labour claims he called the PM a triple failure. Brown hit back with a low blow. ‘The more he talks the less he actually says.’ Labour loved that.
But by now Brown’s luck was running out. As soon as he mentioned inheritance tax Cameron knew just where to strike. ‘Only one person has made a specific pledge to reduce inheritance tax,’ he said referring to Labour’s plans to raise the threshold. Would Brown honour that pledge? A good question. A simple question. A question Brown himself had drawn into the debate. And Brown absolutely failed to answer it. He waffled, he bumbled, he swivelled, he paused – amidst growing howls of anger from the Conservatives – and after an extraordinarily clumsy piece of footwork he shuffled towards a prepared soundbite. ‘His inheritance tax policy has been cooked up on the playing fields of Eton!’ By now the house was in uproar. The Tories were outraged at Brown’s refusal to answer and the Labour benches, fired up with tribal hatred, were waving their order papers like groupies begging for autographs.
Then Nick Clegg had a go. Or rather he decided not to have a go. Instead he adopted a strain of collegiate internationalism. Chin up, shoulders square, his body language signaling, ‘I’m too good for all this’, he offered two questions which were mini-speeches in disguise. We mustn’t be over-reliant on President Karzai, he said, and he asked Brown to invite the regional powers to the London conference. Top marks for statesmanship. Nul points for holding the executive to account. What’s Nick up to here? Playing it long. That’s my guess. Very long. Ten more years running his micro-party and he’ll use his acquired grey hair and gravitas to win a Paddy Ashdown-style satrapy in some far-flung failed state.
The best of the backbench questions came from Ben Wallace. Prisoners with cancer regularly die in jail, he said pointedly. ‘Is it one rule for British inmates and one for Libyan mass murderers?’ Brown shrugged. ‘Scottish decision,’ he said in his Scottish accent. Brown’s class-war theme was picked up by Chris Ruane who predicted that the Tories would lead the economy into ‘a right old Eton mess.’ Bad pun. Bad tactics too. Blair would never have allowed this Bolshevist cat-calling. It leaves the target undamaged and it appeals to no one but the die-hard left. But the ploy is revealing. Labour is terrified it may lose its own heartlands.
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Tony Daly
December 2nd, 2009 3:06pm Report this commentYou ain't seen nothing yet.
Just wait until Gorodn Brown lets rip with the Tory pledge to repeal the ban on hunting with hounds
Tally Ho !!!!!!!!!!!!
saddleworth
December 2nd, 2009 3:08pm Report this commentTerrific PMQs today?
Really?
You are too close to to Parliament and should try to stand back and see it as the electorate do.
Generally speaking there is no point in paying any attention until a Speaker with the usual male appendages insists on answers.
The schoolboy behaviour from the tribal backers merely reinforces our contempt for the third rate party hacks that most of them aspire to be.
In its present form it serves only to fuel our despiar that we have to pay for this theatre of the absurd.
The smirking puerile behavious of front benchers (exemplified by Talking Balls) merely gives voters the urge to start punching faces.
Your blog would have better served the electorate by ridiculing both the performance and process.
The MPs still don't get it
david
December 2nd, 2009 3:09pm Report this commentreally, I'm no Brown fan, but he easily won today. Cameron is looking shakier day-by-day, a couple of more polls showing a shrinking lead and it'll be DD4PM.
HairyNoddy
December 2nd, 2009 3:20pm Report this commentThe fat idiot did manage to answer a question with a one word answer.
When questioned as to whether MPs should pay tax in the UK he said 'Yes'.
That he only chooses to give such precise answers to friendly questions in PMQs shows his complete and utter contempt for the UK Parliament.
In2minds
December 2nd, 2009 3:23pm Report this commentNick Clegg - signalling, ‘I’m too good for all this’, very good, best Clegg joke for a while!
Beer Moth
December 2nd, 2009 3:30pm Report this commentIf I were Taliban, I'd be sat watching the Western leaders on Al Jazeera with their rickety little 'when can we finish' whine and I'd be laughing my cock off.
They talk like idiots, firing the enemy up, and then they expect blokes to go out and keep fighting day after day as if they're on the same side.
strapworld
December 2nd, 2009 3:53pm Report this commentI repeat what I wrote earlier,
Now that Brown has declared war on public schools. Can anyone let me know just how many public school scholars have lost their lives for their Country in Iraq and Afghanistan?
THAT would finish off this disgraceful Brown initiative once and for all! If they can lose their lives fighting for the country then they can run the country!
Holly ......
December 2nd, 2009 4:41pm Report this commentHow did Gordon Brown 'win' at PMQ's?
Has he won anything?
All Brown did was show his ignorance,smarm
and downright nastiness.
Do we really want the baying morons behind Brown and to either side of him to be re elected? Do these same baying morons think our reaction to their world class childish behaviour would in any way encourage us to vote for them?
While the opposition were taking the mess we are in seriously, the Labour benches were on a drunken coach trip.
So where you get the idea Brown 'won' is way over my pretty little head....thank god.
Sky News is begging for anyone to tell them what they think Balls was miming to the Conservative benches.Who, with Christmas just weeks away and no job gives a flying pink pig!
Sky's Mr J is picking out all the bits he thinks shows Brown 'getting one up'on Cameron, yet all you see is Brown making himself look foolish, petty and asking DC for policies.
Like Cameron said...Brown put us in the mess how does he plan to get us out?
What are Labours policies? It would be very nice for them to tell us with just 155 days to go. What are Labour going to do about
Education
Crime
Housing shortage
Immigration
Economy
NHS
Economy
Afghanistan
French
Banks
Debt
Buget deficit
£250 million tax gap
Ed Balls
Milliband
Oh yeah....make it up as they go along and then blame either Thatcher, other countries or their old chestnut, the Tories. The media will help pump out the same crap.
Just like Mr J. on Sky News.
Cameron does not need to lay in the gutter with the scrotums opposite him, he just has to carry on letting the Labour morons show themselves in their TRUE light...like they have done today.
The front bench today showed the party for what they are...novices. And like Brown used to spout...this is no time for a novice...I second that Mr Brown...and trust me when I say you are far from an expert on anything to do with economies or how to run them.
Looking forward to the Labour policy story.
Have they actually got any?
Vulture
December 2nd, 2009 4:50pm Report this commentLook, it doesn't matter a flying fart that Dave went to a decent school - what does matter is that he promotes his old school chums and forms them into a clique that is perceived to be a totally out of touch rich boys' smoothie club.
Bu I agree that we can't change leader at this stage of the game. Let's try to get rid of the appalling Bruin even with Dave leading the charge since five more years of Liebour means death...then we can start the process of getting rid of Dave. He is, as many have suddenly noticed, just not up to the job.
Snowman
December 2nd, 2009 5:07pm Report this commentas shouting and arm waving matches in a playground go, the PMQs win hands down
Dorothy Wilson
December 2nd, 2009 5:15pm Report this commentTony Daly: The Conservatives had not pledged to repeal the ban on hunting. They have promised to give this matter a free vote in the HoCs.
Maggie
December 2nd, 2009 5:41pm Report this commentGordon's overconfidence makes him sound quite psychopathic. He didn't give us any of his stream of consciousness lists today. Just mad swagger and misplaced belief in his own (non)achievements.
Naomi Muse
December 2nd, 2009 5:51pm Report this commentMore hot air from the house of hot air.
I thought it was a waste of space. I know you could interpret it as fun but it really should be that the people who are meant to be running the country are seen to do a good job for us.
They're whiling away the time until FFFlash has to go to the Queen rather than dealing with it in a timely manner - sound familiar? Like most of the policies since 1997 apart from those which took other people's money, there's nothing to say. As journos say, it is a slow news day so they filled the space that could have been used for the good of the country having a mock election knock about.
Neither seem to have policies so it was all hot air.
David Lindsay
December 2nd, 2009 6:15pm Report this commentAnd, Dorothy Wilson, there were such free votes throughout the Major years, resulting in majorities for a ban, which only the Lords and the use of parliamentary procedures managed to frustrate.
Wales, Yorkshire, the Midlands, Devon, Cornwall: lots of hunting, and few or no Tory MPs for the third time running. I'm all for repealing the ban; but anyone who is, is wasting their time with the Tories.
malone
December 2nd, 2009 7:51pm Report this commentSo at PMQ's in answer to a backbenchers question Brown praised me in my capacity as a Consultant Ophthalmic Surgeon and then dammed me for the school I went to. So where do I stand Gordon? How many blind people do I have to restore sight to or lives to save before I can redeem myself? Cretin
Robert Eve
December 2nd, 2009 8:56pm Report this commentCameron can be as 'nasty' to Balls as he likes!!
Derek
December 2nd, 2009 9:29pm Report this commentYes Vulture, but how are we going to ensure that there's anyone up to the job in the next parliament? How do we convene the Estates-General or in the case of England, the Witan?
Nicholas
December 2nd, 2009 9:30pm Report this commentYep. The priority must be getting rid of Brown and his fascists.
General Zod
December 2nd, 2009 9:30pm Report this commentDavid Lindsay, narrow down to the hunting areas in those counties/countries/regions and the picture looks rather different (as I suspect you understand).
Watt Tyler
December 2nd, 2009 11:23pm Report this comment@ Tony Daly
Put me right, then. I thought that Cameron had flip-flopped on the fox hunting ban? (And I suppose if he's frightened of being brought to task by Labour on points of principle, as very much seems the case, then it sorts of fits the profile).
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