Meet Farmer Mandelson

Rob Atkins

So mandy tries to reinvent himself again, this time as a closet rural 'tory' just in time to position himself for an invitation to join a future Conservative 'Government Of All the Talents' after the election. Surely, no-one will fall for this all over again ? Just let him disappear into obscurity on some yacht in Corfu or country house in Buckinghamshire where we'll never need to see his smug face or hear his tiresome self-aggrandissement ever again. If only ...

Vulture

I know you are on post-birth happy cloud, Fraser, but you really shouldn't swank abt being on friendly terms with Lord Mandelslime. That is a subject for shame, not pride. The creature has done more to debase British political life than almost anyone - with the possible exceptions of his partners in crime Bliar and Campbell.

The only thing to say abt this ludicrous farming fantasy is that Lord Mandelslime would meet some of his moral superiors if he went into pig farming. He is the human equivalent of swill.

Austin Barry

I'm sure that in the incestuous confines of the Westminster village Mandy is considered a charismatic hoot, to the rest of us he presents as a curious hybrid of the fey and the sinister - the love-child of Kenneth Williams and Tom Driberg.

Dennis Churchill

Notting Hill Gate was once known as the “Piggeries”, pigs being kept in what were then hovels not far from the Underground Station.
Mandelson was brought up in North London wasn’t he? Not far from Charles Clark? I wonder where he first experienced life on a farm.

Irene

Tell me you haven't "fallen" for him, they way Rentoul has with Blair.

Peter From Maidstone

Sorry, I don't find Mandelson entertaining at all. Was Lord Haw Haw entertaining, or Quisling, or Vichy? He is a traitor. And it is pretty shameful that Spectator journalists want to suck up to him.

biggestaspidistra

Fraser, who is an admirable person and a fine father, has one failing, already noted here, and which last surfaced when he handed a glass of champagne to Cameron 'at Conference'. The glow of power makes him giddy. We all have faults and as long as they're acknowledged, it's fine.

strapworld

Mr Nelson. Firstly, surely you should be with your wife and new son?

I have no wish to write about this individual but just to ask a question.

IF a Conservative Government had announced the cuts on defence spending, it is safe to assume that the Labour Opposition would have been absolutely up in arms! The leader of the opposition would have been on all the airwaves telling us all that the Conservative Government had failed the Country. He/She would even tell us that they intended to table a vote of no confidence in the Government. WHERE IS DAVID CAMERON? WHAT IS HE DOING? WHY IS HE MISSING YET ANOTHER OPEN GOAL?

This man is no leader and needs to step aside!

Augustus

"I'm not so good with pigs..."

Er, is that because some are more equal than others?

Snowman

If it were to speed up his move to farming, preferably in Zimbabwe, I am ready to buy him a fork at once.

Marcher Baron

Ha! If he wants to keep chickens to eat fresh eggs on his country estate, he'd better start campaigning for a repeal of the Hunting Act.

TrevorsDen

To interview Mandelson is just to invite a whole spread of lies - why do you bother ?

Tiberius

If the git loves the earth so much, why is he propping up a Mentalist who wants to scorch it?

Freddie's dad

The way things are going we shall all be subsistence farming in a few years time.

TGF UKIP

Fraser, what an archetypal London media luvvie you have become since The Great Ascent.

However, I trust you reminded your viperous shit of a friend what the punishment for rustling used to be. Trouble is, though, he would probably been able to tell you quite accurately, with one of his smirks, that today's criminal "justice" system doesn't countenance punishment for such mere transfer of ownership from Tory farmers.

JohnAnt

Fraser, I like you a lot, but you do seem a little bit naively under the influence of the Dark Lord. As Mandelson denies anything more than a vaguely passing acquaintance with Gaddaffi fils, I think we can take that as an assurance that he does know him well, and deals with him.
Equally, if Mandelson says he wants to move to the English countryside and become a yeoman farmer tilling the soil with the sweat of his brow, using his 'early rising' habits in order to sheer the 'odd cow' - or whatever it is one does to them, once they've been colour-coordinated and designer-distributed artistically on the hillside - that simply means he thinks it's the best smokescreen for concealing his hobnobbing on yachts and in villas and on landed estates with, apparently invariably, the Rothschilds - but presumably that is what Chief Petty Officer Pertwee used to call 'pure, blind, co-in-side-ence. Sir'.
I worry that some of the above mifght be thought a tad cynical. But ah, too late now.

Frank P

Austin Barry

The love child of Kenneth Williams and Tom Driberg.

Perfect! Best one-liner of the year. So far ....

Frank P

Beer Moth

"Paul Dallimore position the sheep almost right".

Mandy probably prefers the Brazilian breed:

http://www.wcgalp8.org.br/wcgalp8/articles/paper/33_841-1728.pdf

Verity

“This man is no leader and needs to step aside!” writes Strapworld.

Who would argue?

But, Strapworld, haven’t you figured out that Cameron is deliberately missing open goals because he is a member of the other team? I’ve read your comments on this site for over a year, and I know you are much cannier than that. So how does one explain the phenomenon of rich and patronising David Cameron, a patronising 1920s/1930s drawing room lefty, like Bertrand Russell and the Mitfords (as they always are, and position?) Easy. Greed for power and position. As of right.

He’s a little pr mentality who imagines himself
manipulative. (Dave, sweets, Manipulation’s down the hall. Knock on the door with “Mandelson” stencilled on it.)

Everything he has essayed has failed. He can’t get a grip. Attacking a loathed government, he can’t get an important lead. He made the mind-boggling misjudgement of sacking a respected military man, on his cell phone yet, to make one of his jumpy little pr points and occasioned great resentment. He doesn’t understand that we hold our military in respect. Some pr man. For someone who thinks the whole government of Great Britain is about pr, rather than governance, he’s even failed at that. There is no hunger for David Cameron in Britain.

The Speccie has got him illustrated in their strapline (so to speak), Strapworld, above the masthead in their promotion for a Boris “Dave” ding dong, coloured Indian. If I were an Indian, I would be annoyed. Dave can't measure up.

Nicholas

I would definitely support the noble Lord in his wish to be near the soil. In fact I would volunteer to help him return to it. I would even make him dig his own resting place.

Norman Dee

To be fair he already has 1 major qualification, he must be the 2nd greatest expert on compost in the world. ( I say second because Cambell is in an unassailable position) Having talked, been up to his knees in, and smelt so much s**t over the years.

General Zod

Ah, so Cameron is actually a Labour party plant.

I'm so naive and stupid for not having spotted that.

Thank you, Verity. Nothing is more valuable than your opinions.

Jez

In the picture.

Are those sheep safe?

logdon

Jez
December 16th, 2009 5:33pm

From that nose? Ripe for a couple of drawn lines of juvenile caricature I’d say.

Ghengis

My list of misdemeanours that may be committed by members of this government without fear of prosecution grows daily --- am I to understand that bestiality (or zoophilia) is now to be included.