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Wednesday, 3rd March 2010

Hague gives Hattie a PMQs kicking

Lloyd Evans 3:37pm

Brown bunked off PMQs today, claiming a prior luncheon engagement with President Zuma of South Africa. Downing Street blamed the Queen for double-booking the PM. Can that be true? The head of state deprives the Commons of its democratic right to shout ‘Answer the question’ at a block of granite. Perhaps she had their best interests at heart.

Hattie Harman, replacing the PM, turned up in a pair of alarmingly shrill pink glasses. Opposite her, William Hague wore a sober suit of inky blue. He looked ominously business-like as he aimed his first shot at her. Why had Brown cut the helicopter budget while the country was fighting two wars? This sent Hattie scampering to her dressing-up box of muddled phrases. ‘We have a second-to-none commitment to our armed forces,’ she improvised strangely. Hague then floated the worrying issue of the economy’s long term viability. ‘Why does she think UK government bonds are almost twice as risky as bonds of Pepsi or Mcdonalds?’

Finance gets Hattie in a terrible twist. She sounds like a four-year-old explaining space travel to a pretend friend. Jargon and overheard half-concepts are mashed together in a confidently asserted jumble of bilge. ‘The price of Sterling depends on a whole range of issues,’ she said, unaware that Hague had asked about bonds not currency. ‘The most important thing is that the economy should grow,’ she burbled loudly, ‘and that we should have more jobs.’ She then changed the subject to Lord Ashcroft, achieving this quite deftly by mentioning ‘the issue of integrity’, and adding, ‘this country has been misled. Were they misled by the deputy chair of the Conservative party or...’ Mr Bercow cut her off here, and reminded her to focus on areas of government responsibility.

Hague stood up, looking riled by all this Ashcroft business. ‘People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,’ he said with hurt solemnity. On a lighter note, he reminded us that the boss of Unite, Jack Dromey, who happens to be Hattie’s hubbie, has just been selected as a Labour candidate, ‘having gone through an all-woman shortlist.’ Tory cheers greeted this. Hague went on merrily. ‘She may not want to recognise marriage in the tax system but she sure does in the political system.’

There followed an enjoyable interlude during which both sides traded ‘dodgy donor’ insults. Hattie asked about the missing ‘tens of millions’ supposed to have been paid in tax by Lord Ashcroft. Hague brought up Lord Paul. ‘He was made a privy councilor after he bought 6,000 copies of the Prime Minister’s book on courage.’ Hague had fun with another Labour backer, Mr Bollinger. ‘Champagne socialism is still alive in the Labour party.’ These delightful insults ended with Hague calling on the PM to ask the Queen for a dissolution while he’s up at the palace eating sandwiches out of a Tupperware box.

The much-married Mr Zuma provided Vince Cable with some mirthful opportunities. He wondered if Hattie, as government spokesperson on gender equality, might draw Zuma into a debate on polygamy. Cable had only to mention ‘married tax allowances’ for members to fall about laughing.

The house was in an excessively silly mood today. Betty Williams, recently savaged by an out-of-hand hound, referred to the Dangerous Dogs Act and was accompanied by an exquisitely rehearsed impression of a frolicking spaniel. Gerald Kaufman entreated the government to affirm the Falkland islanders’ right to freedom, independence and sovereignty. ‘And penguins!’ shouted a ventriloquist so perfectly that it looked as if it had come from Kaufman himself. Have MPs got too much time on their hands?

Hattie Harman was as hopeless as ever today. Although he cut her off twice, Mr Bercow made insufficient efforts to force her to concentrate on government policy. Her robotic and repetitive soundbites reveal where Labour strategists consider the Tories to be vulnerable. 1. Inexperienced Osborne. 2. Talking down the economy. 3. Unemployment ‘a price worth paying.’

Labour are also keen to tar the Conservatives as ‘pessimistic’. It’s a spring election. Winners need hope in their hearts. Labour know this.

Today’s brightest news is Hague’s return to form. Witty, methodical, and with just the right hint of steel, this was a classic performance from the Yorkshire bruiser. Hats off to Slaphead. 

Filed under: Economy (900 more articles) , Harriet Harman (83 more articles) , Lord Ashcroft (39 more articles) , Parliament (234 more articles) , PMQs (230 more articles) , UK politics (4968 more articles) , William Hague (163 more articles)

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Comments Post comment

toco

March 3rd, 2010 3:49pm Report this comment

Hague should have asked Harman/Dromey why Downing Street agreed to keep CGT at 18% days before receiving enormous donations from non-dom private equity players and why the extremely rich only pay CGT at 18% when it was 40% under the Conservatives.We all know Blair and Brown have friends of the Labour Party who have derived millions of pounds in tax benefits paid for by higher National Insurance contributions levied on the poorest in our society.Harman or Brown MUST answer this sinister piece of dodgy dealing.

Tom Pride

March 3rd, 2010 4:00pm Report this comment

This only gives a half sense of how bad she was. It was embarrassingly bad. I wanted someone to ask if she was drunk. Then again she might have given a better performance if she had downed a half bottle of Bollinger.

Bloody Bill Brock

March 3rd, 2010 4:25pm Report this comment

How can any party commanding over 30% in the national opinion polls have that utter bloody fool of a woman as deputy leader. The Tories shoould show a vidio of that PMQ as a party political.

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 4:27pm Report this comment

William was owned by Hattie.....she nailed him and he is a sorry replacement for what is also a very sorry Leader.
Devoid of any moral standing now after his Ashcroftgate......pay the money back you bunch of hypocrits.
Let the sunshine in Mr Cameron and prepare for your fate when the grandees knife you in the back like they did Maggie....lose this election and you will go down in history for the lying freeloader you realy are. Oh and pay your own mortgage why should I have to pay yours and mine?

glenlivetguy

March 3rd, 2010 4:31pm Report this comment

William Hague was brilliant.Harman was pathetic...how did she become an MP let alone obtain cabinet rank.I hope Hague is the man who is Foreign Secretary rather than that wimp Milliband come May especially if USA force us into negotations with Southern American countries over Falkland Islands. DC would be well advised to state now that if elected as PM, he would make WH deputy PM as well as Foreign Secretary.That will go well with us "UP NORTH"

welshy

March 3rd, 2010 4:33pm Report this comment

I listened - her attempts to tie everything to ashcroft when being asked about serious things on economy were absurd... She even fluffed a planted labour ashcroft question (which in itself was strange in that it highlighted the "well what are you doing for 12 years re non doms") !?

Quite surprising how little she knows about economy (bonds / currency confusion) - i got the impression she couldn't rather than wouldn't answer the question...

She called hague foreign secretary, he made a joke saying you have not lost the election yet - and she tried to label it arrogance by hague rather than laughing it off! Are people stupid enough to fall for her rubbish actually allowed to vote? Don't answer that...

Dorothy Wilson

March 3rd, 2010 4:45pm Report this comment

It seems that Mrs Dromey is in favour of all women short lists except when one puts Mr Dromey at a disadvantage.

She was dire in PMQs. How on earth did she reach the position she has? How on earth did she become an MP?

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 4:56pm Report this comment

Paxman: Did you think to ask if your Vice chairman had complied with his assertion?

Hague: There came the answer none.

Paxman: Why don't you just ask him?

Hague: There came the answer none.
I wont go on you can youtube it yourself.
Held in history as only second to that other Tory ex leader and Silly ar** Michael Howard.
What a legacy for such a silly man.
Make room on the sillies bench for Shameron on the next episode of Ex leaders Paxo Stuffed.

mark

March 3rd, 2010 5:04pm Report this comment

@Richard, March 3rd, 2010 4:27pm

I see the wit and repartee of the Labour rapid rebuttal unit has not dimmed since the demise of your masters. And you even managed to bring Thatcher into your treatise, bravo, keep following the script.

Would YOU care to answer any of Hague's questions...? Silly me, of course not, the left wing don't do answers...

JohnPage

March 3rd, 2010 5:12pm Report this comment

"William was owned by Hattie.....she nailed him".

Ha ha, Richard, I'm no Tory, but do Labour pay you to type such obvious rubbish?

General Zod

March 3rd, 2010 5:13pm Report this comment

Come on, Richard, you have to blend reality with the message to have any hope of getting it through.

Russell

March 3rd, 2010 5:19pm Report this comment

Richard, I can only assume your comment was written with a deep sense of irony or you didn't wath the same PMqs everyone else did.
Or is your name Harriet?

Alan Douglas

March 3rd, 2010 5:36pm Report this comment

This "Richard" is such a mindless robotic moron that I am seriously thinking of renaming my 2nd son.

And my Richard is 31 !

Alan Douglas

euro-zone

March 3rd, 2010 5:49pm Report this comment

it beggar´s belief that this example of british politics is available on Youtube to anybody (apart from the chinese,people of iran and similar nations)who has an internet connection around the world to watch.
Labour = mob politics, mob tactics

toni

March 3rd, 2010 5:50pm Report this comment

This PMQ was all about Ashcroft, and at times both Harriet and Hague were wrong footed, but it was Harriet’s killer line that Ashcroft ‘owed it all to William’ according to his own risibly titled book ‘Dirty Politics, Dirty Times’ that will be remembered, and her scorn about the marriage allowance.

The Tory howling and baying at Cable; who the public actually respect was a mistake, as to be sure from now on there will be a Lib/Lab pact to embarrass Cameron over Ashcroft right up to the election.

Vulture

March 3rd, 2010 5:56pm Report this comment

Fellow Coffee HOusers: I'm organising a whip round to send Richard to join 'Fatbloke on Tour' on a very long holiday in North Korea. Any contributioons gratefully received. I understand that Fatman's got a bit thinner in his socialist paradise.

Man in a Shed

March 3rd, 2010 5:57pm Report this comment

Odd - the BBC leads with Hattie attacking Hague over Ashcroft. They don't give a monkey's as long as they do their master bidding. ( Much like all the civil servants job cuts stories almost exclusively in the BBC right now ).

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 6:07pm Report this comment

@General Zod,

Don't be silly this is not reality this is politics...the game people play when they have no work to do or are incapable of earning a living outside Parliment that pays more than the salary and perks.

Now Mr Hague has said he didn't know Ashcroft was not paying tax.....oh for Fecks sake it took him ten years to ask him?.
Hague said he trusted Ashcroft to have done the right thing, he was an honorable man...again for fecks sake the man is a self made billionaire.....impossible to achieve for an honest man.
Hague is either a liar or a numpty....my guess BOTH.

JONNY

March 3rd, 2010 6:09pm Report this comment

'Any contributioons gratefully received.'

In doubloons perhaps.

Angry of SE1

March 3rd, 2010 6:11pm Report this comment

Suprise, suprise the BBC take Richard's side in this and devote their coverage to Hattie embarassing Hague with Ashcroft. They don't even link to live event.

No prizes for guessing where Richar and BBC get their instructions from but why are forced to pay for them ?

Grr Grr - The propaganda is so blatant !!!

JONNY

March 3rd, 2010 6:26pm Report this comment

One wee pre-pubescent laddy named Richard
looks due for a rude awakening
come May 6.

Ghengis

March 3rd, 2010 6:36pm Report this comment

By their attitude and performance at PMQ's today (3.3.2010) it is apparent that the political class throughout their ranks, are of the opinion that their object of removing themselves to a position at which they are beyond the law has been attained.. Their pompous caterwauling and infantile antics equalled if not exceeded those we have become accustomed to when watching scenes of drunken Saturday night behaviour upon television. They appear to have become removed from reality by their avoidance of retribution and to have lost all respect for the establishment in which they are privileged to sit and for which so many have and continue to die for. Even their Speaker drew their attention to the fact of their behaviour not being in accord with their employers wishes, to of no avail – Such is their arrogance that they have become convinced that such behaviour is what they are paid for as well as being so inept and unworldly when grappling with the “complexity” of the Green Book Rule. This House is in contempt of its electors and the sooner such behaviour is no more and those sitting are brought to respect it the better. They are not “celebrities” as they obviously consider themselves, there to entertain each other, but there to perform serious duties in the defence of and for the convenience of we citizens with a degree of dignity.

Boudicca

March 3rd, 2010 6:57pm Report this comment

Just watched the recording of PMQs. Harman was dreadful; appalling. She couldn't string a sentence together without stumbling over her words. Anyone would think she'd been indulging ... as for continually harping on about Ashcroft, doesn't she realise that it just makes Labour look even more hypocritical. We all KNOW Labour has accepted £millions from non-Doms - Labour had the opportunity to legislate to deal with the issue, and didn't. Why? Because they were benefitting.

The put down over Dromey was wonderful.

toni

March 3rd, 2010 7:12pm Report this comment

I wondered what had happened to Fatman and assumed he'd been banned due to his hilarious and unrelenting riposts.
I'd pay to have him back on here again trading blows with you Vulture.

emil

March 3rd, 2010 7:32pm Report this comment

Hey Tricky Dicky and Toni, your mate Brown said very clearly in 1996 (and in writing) that a major priority was to address the non-dom tax position. One can only wonder why he never got round to it..............

Paddy

March 3rd, 2010 7:42pm Report this comment

What a "scruff" Bercow is - that tie!

When the Tories win the election I hope their first job is to remove this incompetent idiot!

David Ossitt

March 3rd, 2010 7:45pm Report this comment

Alan Douglas

“This "Richard" is such a mindless robotic moron that I am seriously thinking of renaming my 2nd son.”

Alan please don’t do that; do not let this mindless labour plant spoil your affection for the name Richard.

This one has become a bore; if we ignore him, he might just go away, as did that other cretin phil.

Fragmeister

March 3rd, 2010 7:50pm Report this comment

Hattie was good, wasn't she? Should be good for a few Tory votes. Can she do it again next week?

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 7:54pm Report this comment

Time now for the tories to choose!

Who's head will it be?
Ashcroft - Hague - Shameron
You are going to lose at least one of them so who will it be?
The media will call for a scalp and my money is on Hague.
You can't lose the money man Faggin Ashcroft and you won't give up the post turtle thats for sure so Faggin it has to be.
Especially when his lies are so exposed now in the papers released today.

Question: Who did Faggin renegotiate the terms of his residency with? he says the governement (as they have spent 10 years chasing the answer logic tells you it can't be true) they say Hague....so the hare is running and the hacks are on its tail.
Another question ...why did Hague have to escape BBC4 via a back door to avoid the press?

Ben Elford

March 3rd, 2010 8:06pm Report this comment

I am no great fan of John Bercow, but I note that he's making some attempt to bring a little more order to the conduct of PMQs, which is welcome after that utter shambles of a speaker, Gorbals Mick.

It would be good if Bercow could assert his authority now to get the PM, or his deputy, to answer the questions put. However, in the case of H Harman he would have to explain the questions for her as well, which might take some time.

Paulg

March 3rd, 2010 8:08pm Report this comment

Harriet put on the most inept display even seen in a parliament since simon de montfort first called one nearly a millenium ago.
A government minister did not understand how the bond market worked, had no idea what mechanisms controlled currency, and the economy might have been based upon the far side of the moon as far as her understanding of it.
The total and utter ineptitude of this government was summed up in her performance, on that basis we as a people have right to ask the queen to dissolve this joke of a government.

eeyore

March 3rd, 2010 8:10pm Report this comment

When you control the education system and can propagandise the nation's children as you wish, you have no need to perform well in the House of Commons. Mr Hague wastes his breath.

Chuck Unsworth

March 3rd, 2010 8:28pm Report this comment

Just watched the whole thing again from behind the sofa. I really couldn't believe what I was seeing first time round. Harman was appalling - babbling, strident, rabidly incoherent, completely monomaniac. I could swear that she was foaming at the mouth. Whatever meds she's on ought to be banned by NICE with immediate effect.

It's terrifying to think that this deluded fish-wife has any real power and responsibility. She hasn't the slightest grasp of anything outside of crude town-hall politics. She didn't even understand the quite basic questions put by Hague.

And this is a Minister of State? Where are the Labour supporters who can explain the actual value of this woman to the interests of Britain? Let's hear from them.

TrevorsDen

March 3rd, 2010 8:31pm Report this comment

So what is it with Brown - another PMQs missed? Why would there be some do on at the Palace timed for PMQs?

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 8:38pm Report this comment

@ David Ossitt
You are not one of my fans I can tell.
Shame as I am always nice to you, perhaps you are not the live and let live type?
Oh well have a nice day and happy posting.

stephen

March 3rd, 2010 8:45pm Report this comment

Good job done by Hague today what a pity he can't chuck Boy George out of the open plan office [the FT reports] he shares with our Dave. Then Hague could give Dave some hardheaded Yorkshire advice about how to land a few KO's on Brown/Darling that the Boy just has not done!

Richard

March 3rd, 2010 9:31pm Report this comment

Quote just in from Zac Goldmine.

"How much!....Why did you make me give up my nice little trust fund for this?.....you bas***'s"

Funny how being a sharing caring Conservative runs out once the tax man sends you one of their nice little letters

GDS

March 3rd, 2010 10:26pm Report this comment

Eeyore,
Don't panic, my son (16 and in the state school system) hates socialists with a passion. Do not believe all children are conditioned by their schools!

JONNY

March 3rd, 2010 10:38pm Report this comment

Exactly Stephen
Cameron, Hague and a touch of Ken
- that should do the trick.
(Boy George consigned to the broom cupboard where he can be brilliant without being noticed).

Mike

March 3rd, 2010 11:41pm Report this comment

Theres one very good reason why Harman is in the position she is, if youre as insecure in your position as Brown is, you put someone whose so bad as DPM that they can't ever become a threat, and they don't come any worse than the black widow Harman, as her brain turned to mush many years ago !

Derek

March 4th, 2010 12:00am Report this comment

David Ossitt

You spoke too soon - he's back with a tribute to Michael Foot in the blog below this one...

General Zod

March 4th, 2010 12:05am Report this comment

Richard, I was talking about your posting on CH. It is an unfiltered feed from Labour Central. Try to temper the propaganda with something and you might fool a few people.

DavidDP

March 4th, 2010 12:28am Report this comment

Who are you, and what have you done with the real Lloyd "Ooh, isn't Brown wonderful" Evans?

Nicholas

March 4th, 2010 12:32am Report this comment

Oh no, who is this "Richard" who is clinging to the thread like a tapeworm? Not another infantile Labour troll assigned to monitor the Coffee House surely? The last one - Fatbloke - was such a bore.

Uri

March 4th, 2010 1:59am Report this comment

Hattie is a perfect example of what happens when people are promoted on the basis of gender rather than competence. Her equality bill will entrench that in our society.

Cameron seems to support these policies.

When will this country wake up? This madness is our ruination.

Andrew Zalotocky

March 4th, 2010 3:10am Report this comment

Are we supposed to take this seriously? The leader of the opposition asks a series of "gotcha" questions that all amount to "when did you stop beating your wife?". The PM responds with evasions, half-truths and sometimes outright lies. The backbenches exchange juvenile insults.

PMQs is not parliament at its best. It is parliament at its most trivial and self-indulgent. It is a perfect demonstration of why most normal people treat MPs with contempt or indifference.

Pete H

March 4th, 2010 5:33am Report this comment

euro-zone
March 3rd, 2010 5:49pm
Your knowledge of both the Internet and probably China seems to be poor.
I (English) and many many Chinese use a work around. Excuse me while I pop over to Youtube to see if the bitch queen was a bad as reported! (We do Facebook here as well!)

michael

March 4th, 2010 9:34am Report this comment

PMQs was one long 'shaft the pound' session.

Rich people are canny....that's how they get rich.
Politicians are cunning....lying about rich people gets 'em elected.
Sleaze...now there's something you don't see on a get rich quick expenses receipt every day.

It's the economy...Harriet.

- or perhaps its me that's stupid.

brian kelly

March 4th, 2010 10:21am Report this comment

She's a spirited dunderhead - hopeless. But in this role of Deputy Prime Minister she has a most excellent exemplar in the previous incumbent.

David Ossitt

March 4th, 2010 10:41am Report this comment

Derek

“David Ossitt
You spoke too soon - he's back with a tribute to Michael Foot in the blog below this one...”

You are correct; hatters and March Hares come to mind!

John Francis

March 4th, 2010 11:59am Report this comment

Just William was gulled by a spiv. He got the bloke a peerage on the basis of some falsehoods and then didn't know what was going on for ten years. This clown wants to be Foreign Secretary in ten weeks.

Cameron, Osborne and Hague - what a shower.

PS I know Hattie is hopeless but are the Tory women any better?

Ian

March 5th, 2010 2:04pm Report this comment

Hague at his imperious best, he toyed with Hattie as she irritated Hague over Ashcroft. Brown has missed more PMQ's in his short time in office than Blair. PMQ's are best on the radio, the audible gulp from the Labour benches as Hague pitched the bond price question, Hattie just didn't see it coming, this was a blood sport at its best!

David Ossitt

March 6th, 2010 10:38am Report this comment

John Francis

“Just William was gulled by a spiv. He got the bloke a peerage on the basis of some falsehoods and then didn't know what was going on for ten years. This clown wants to be Foreign Secretary in ten weeks.”

The nasty unpleasant tone of your post; is the give away, these columns are beset by those of the loony left.

Who; are now so desperately frightened of the forthcoming general election, that they will stoop to any and every dirty trick in the book.

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