The curious race for nominations

Swissy J

Could it just be a case of "Who cares anyway" ?

paul fitzgerald

who cares?..Who ever gets in will find that 13 years of bust on their CV will hand around their neck like a stone...Happy times

emil

Perhaps they're waiting for those all important postal votes to come in........

David Lindsay

Two candidates have now been nominated for Leader of the only party that is going to vote against restoring the link between pensions and earnings. By happy coincidence, they share a surname. However, unlike the Leader of the Opposition at today's Queen's Speech, neither of them is the Prime Minister's cousin.

Ed Miliband actually passed the magic 33 figure before his brother, and he alone did so on day one. He is still ahead. At least Yvette Cooper has now nominated her husband. She hadn't earlier today. Andy Burnham still has a mountain to climb, but his nomination by Joe Benton and Paul Goggins stands him in good stead with some of us. Or does it diminish Benton and Goggins? No one at all has nominated either of the Campaign Group candidates.

And not one candidate has mentioned a single policy. Well, of course not.

Fabian Solutions

The Labour Party and the country is still coming to terms with the departure from office of the great Gordon Brown, the brilliant, irascible, passionate, incorruptible son of the manse who rose from humble beginnings to become the most successful Chancellor this country has ever known, finally ascending to the office of Prime Minister which he occupied during a time of unprecedented financial hardship, steering us through the choppy waters of global recession.

Gordon Brown bestrode the last two decades of British politics like a Colossus.

Along with Tony Blair and Peter Mandelson, Brown created the New Labour project that transformed Britain in so many ways.

Although David and Ed Miliband are outstanding politicians and would make excellent Prime Ministers, I believe Ed Balls has the killer instinct required to destroy Cameron at the dispatch box and the persuasiveness and charisma necessary to make our case to the country.

He really annoys the Tory grassroots and right-wing press, which is another reason to support him! I expect the real reason is the Tories are scared of Mr. Balls, and wouldn't want the effete Cameron to face a tough, bruising, gnarled combatant like Mr. Balls at PMQs.

Of course, Gordon Brown can never be replaced - but Ed Balls is the one who will continue his legacy and carry out his dream of building a future fair for all.

David Ossitt

Does anyone actually give a damn?

I suppose; if I had the choice, I hope they will make a Balls of it.

Gawain

It really doesn't matter. Until they face up and fess up to their responsibility for the financial mess we're in the Labour Party is less important than irrelevant.

Gannic

It's nice to see Fabian Solutions back to his delusional best.

Best chanchellor the UK has eveer seen - it took me a while to stop laughing.

mitch

The expression on Ed millivolts face is like an bankrupt shop window....the lights on but the shelves are empty.
Utterly useless the lot of em.

tatts

Fabian, Brilliant absolutely brilliant....

Ive never laughed so much you should try stand up you could do a double act with Eddie Lizard

WRGH

I'm not normally slow about these things but surely Fabian Solutions must be satire, it reads like Private Eye.
It can't be serious. Can it?

HJ

Fabian Solutions - brilliant parody of Labour.

The only worrying thing is that if you were to write this sort of thing in The Guardian, a fair proportion of their readers would take it seriously.

tonyp17

When someone produces a proper definition of 'fair for all' we will see whether any of them want anything other than to grap as much as possible and then spend much much more.

We should all be entitled to reap the rewards of our efforts. That is my definition of 'fair'.

TrevorsDen

Can Fabian post that again please - its cheered me up no end.

Am I allowed to nominate Ed Balls?

Englishman Abroad

Seems that Ed Balls has now been nominated by himself AND his wife.

Alan Douglas

Fabian Solutions certainly lives up to his name : he has me dissolving into a puddle of water on the floor with his screamingly funny pastiche, or do I mean p*ss-take ?

Alan Douglas

anne allan

Fabby Delusions - whatever you're on, can I get it wholesale?

Holly ......

Fabian Solutions,
You are nearly as ridiculous as Richard of York.
Funny though all the same.
Hi Richard..how ya doing.
Nice to see the Ant Hill Mob in their proper
place ...opposite the governing Tory Prime Minister.
Bozo 'the bestest ever chancellor...yeah right!!!
Did you miss the independent this morning?
'Grey' people are so over.

strapworld

Gordon Brown bestrode the last two decades of British politics like a Colossus.!!!

I note that Harman's chief of staff is a black female comedian- someone whose name did nothing for me and I know something about comedians!- This would be comedian is obviously Fabian Solutions. What utter tripe.

Brown should be charged with criminal deception. What a man missed the event today what a coward! The man is useless.

Anne Wotana Kaye 1

I have noted that Diana Abbott has failed so far to garner a single vote. Will she now cry "foul" and demand 'positive discrimination' on two points. Not enough that she is a woman, but she is also black.

Snowman

Fabian Solutions at 7.34:

completely agree with everything you say, except for the facts.

Listen, the NHS’s free at the point of delivery. You shouldn’t be ashamed to ask. It may be curable, you might regain sanity again, it’s worth the try.

Reg511

Ed Balls on NN, 'I am proud of our record on education'

Hahaha

Anne Wotana Kaye 1

At firat I imagined I was reading a satirical piece, nobody could seriously believe that Brown was a Colossus striding etc. to use the words of the Great Bard, as a Caesar. Another much earlier character springs to mind, Hercules. The task is so great, two men must fill this one's shoes, Cameron and Clegg, who must clean out the Aegean Stables after this pathetic character, with the assistance of Darling, has almost bankrupted the country.
I do, however, agree with the comment that Brown, together with Mandelson et al, transformed the country. The problem is what this metamorphosis involves. I shall just say that we must give Cameron and Clegg our full support to return us from being an almost broken Third World country.

Hollando

thanks Fabian Solutions... you made my night... still chuckling

Victor Southern

David Lindsay. Harriet Harman is not David Cameron's cousin. That would imply a blood relationship - there isn't one.

My hobby is genealogy and I have done a calculation that on your basis of cousin-ship I have well over 1000 cousins. In reality I have three first cousins,3 half-cousins, 7 first cousins once removed and 11 second cousins. I have a blood relationship with them all.

Osred

Why no votes for Flabbott?. Doesnt anyone in the party have a sense of humour?

David Lindsay

Balls has nominated himself. Isn't he supposed to be public school? Perhaps I was spoiled by having mates at university who were Eton and Repton.

Frank P

AWK

Aegean (sic) stables? Do sea horses have stables - now there's a thought? Beware of swimming Greeks bearing shovels? It's certainly true that the horseshit emanating from the Greek Government in this era, about their economy in general and their fiscal management in particular, would fill the King Augeas's Stables many times over and Hercules would have his work cut out sorting that backup, even with all the water from the two rivers (or the Aegean Sea, already). :-)

As for Gordon Brown - careful, gal! If you talk about the Fifth Labour to him, he'll interpret that as an invitation to form a government for at least two terms.

Frank P

Osrett

Flabbott? 10/10 for the pun and obviously 20-20 eyesight. You are cruel.

Major Plonquer

The true meaning of Labour's slogan 'A Future Fair for All' is now becoming clear.

Unfortunately they spelled 'Fare' wrong.

Roger Davies

Labour are no longer relevant. They will be pushed further to the left of no-man's-land. Hopefully they will be marginalised for the next 100 years.
I wondered if they would run with the "Labour's got talent" idea, but after a quick shufty around they decided, better not as we have none.

Vulture

Hang on Fabbo...

In your previous post you were busy denouncing the middle-aged, rich, white, public school males who now lead us.

But your chosen candidate to lead your Liebore party is.....(drum roll) Ed Balls.

Blinker Bollox ED is...
Middle-aged. Check.

Rich. Check.

White. Check. (OK, a nasty shade of pink, like measly pork, but you get my drift).

Public school. Check.

Male. Check.

As old Bill Deedsh used to shay: Shurely shome mishtake?

You really are a silly arse, aren't you?

Ahmed Khan

Fabian - were you born a comedian or have you just worked hard to become one. Keep posting your comments as we could laugh over way out of the recession!

Are you also known as Comical Ali?

Lord Monkington-Smythe

Even the BBC and Channel 4 news are slightly mocking Ed Balls now... if this goes on much longer we won't get the Balls/Whelan Labour killing dream team.

He does himself no favours though, on Newsnight last night, despite the fact that Emily Maitless didn't really bother to ask him a question and gave him carte blanche to say what he wanted, he just took the opportunity to spout more of the same deficit-denying rubbish that so comprehensively lost Labout the election, and turned off a generation of voters.

I am hoping this wierd deceit plays well with the comrades and assorted union nutters who actually decide the leadership, otherwise my dream of Labour oblivion will remain just that.

Anne Wotana Kaye 1

FrankP: I stand corrected. I was laughing so much my eyes were filled with tears. Great sea horse imagery.

Sir Graphus

Fabian Solutions is right about 1 thing; Ed Balls will be an awesomely effective opposition politician.

He'd be a divisive figure as leader, and his skills were, as we have seen, ill-suited to power, but I'm afraid there's no-one with better skills for opposition. Do not underestimate.

Michael Booth

Ah........ the Marx(ist) Brothers, but which of them to choose? Is it a case of Prat the Elder or Prat the Younger?

local local

Bollox was scampering around the Portcullis House atrium yesterday after the QS debate furiously trying to get nominations.

I know he was begging, because he was using that smiling technique he uses when he is under pressure!

Dimoto

Graphus, could you explain how a certain talent for smears, lies and dirty politics would make Balls a "formidable opposition leader" ?
I was under the impression that most of Labour are ashamed of this period of their history and want to put the Mandelson-Campbell-Whelan-Balls-McBride clique firmly behind them.

Sir Graphus

I didn't say he'd be a formidable opposition leader. I said formidable opposition politician.

He has an instinct for all out attack. When things get sticky, he'll go mercilessly for the jugular.

As a leader, though, he'll be as poor as he was as a minister; his ideas are all dividing lines and centralist.

graeme scott

Who gives tinkers toss about Labour.. stop writing about them and throw a wet blanket over yourself. Off to oblivion please...... remember what these idiots have done