The most ineffectual phrase in current misuse?

Faceless Bureaucrat

Has part of this post been deleted in error?...

Chuck Unsworth

'Lessons will be learned'
'Meaningful dialogue'
'Hopefully' (ungrammatical as well)
'Customer Care'
'Customer Service'
'SATS tests'
'Plan' (verb and noun)

Etc - ad infinitum...

The list is virtually limitless.

And whilst we're at it, can we please desist from using American spelling of perfectly serviceable English words? The use of Z rather than S is particularly to be deplored.

Tiberius

"Organized chaos".

Sorry, Chuck, I'm a George Orwell fan.

Trumpeter Lanfried

"We will roll out new measures" [= our civil servants have invented yet more criminal offences]

"We understand that people are concerned about this" [= so what?]

"We are well placed to deal with the current difficulties" [= we are completely f****d]

"I do not recognise that picture" [= not listening, not listening]

HalcyonDays

Surprised no-one has yet mentioned the famed "International community"

Tankus

...getting on with the job
...I am the man for the job
...the job
...on the job
...doing the job

David

"Getting on with the job"?

Austin Barry

"Communities" [i.e. alienated groups of misfits]

"Community cohesion" [i.e. "Sling more money at that community, Hazel, you know which one." ]

Paul L

..have demanded a public enquiry

nicodemus31

I especially despise the ubiquitous "credit crunch". What's wrong with "slump"? Even "slowdown" is preferable to this American import.

I blame the BBC, who appear to leap on the latest trendy lingo, feed it into a spray gun then unleash it ad nauseam on its customers.

Alexandrovich

"Chris Grayling will answer your questions."

MuffintheMullah

'community spokesman'...

inevitably claiming to speak for "dee commune-eety"

Richard Holloway

Going forward...

God I hate it so much

Verity

"We are listening to our clients..."

Is there any legal way, Trumpeter, they can be made to cease and desist from calling their masters/paymasters "clients"?

We're not "customers". We're bosses.

David Cameron is too slimy to get this point. In Spanish, cameron means shrimp.

They are the servants of the state. Tony Conniver tried to upend it and did have an effect. To the point where the current brain sludge, bottom-feeder sludge "thinks" we are customers at "their" stall - which we own. Gordon Brown and his cohorts are unelected bloodsuckers.

The impertinence is staggering.

Kevyn Bodman

Hopefully an understanding will emerge that languages change over time.
'Hopefully' is used correctly in the above sentence.

It might not have been correct 50 years ago; it is now.

Hopefully the last vestiges of resentment against those of us who choose to thoughtfully split infinitives will disappear too.

Keith

I'm with Chuck here....'Lessons will be learned'....Aaaaaaaargh. And anyway this is a British blog so let's have some British spelling please!

Patrick

"Hard working/pressed families."

and

"I feel your pain."

Ken

"to thoughtfully split infinitives"
or to split them in any other way.
Atrocious....

Ray

"A holistic, multi-disciplinary approach to service delivery"

This one is a favourite of local government and health authorities and which I think means: the left hand knowing what the right hand is doing (which it invariably doesn't).

Dizzy Dolly

Kevyn Bodman: I don't understand your English.
In your sentences, what hopes - 'understanding', or the act of emerging? Or how can 'last vestiges', or 'resentment' be hopeful? I see that a person could hope when choosing something...! Goodness, how hard your reader must work!

As for the poor old infinitive...can you explain how your adverb enhances the splitting? Dispense with the modifier, I say, if it serves no purpose!

Travis Bickle

"Dangerous" Climate Change
Carbon Footprint
Best man for the job
The Planet
Let's move on

GS London

"Labour," given that it's a contradiction in itself?

In fairness, though, "conservative" would seem no longer to apply given the liberal outlook of the party.

GS London

"Labour," given that it's a contradiction in itself?

In fairness, though, "conservative" would seem no longer to apply given the liberal outlook of the party.

Ted Tedford

I agree with Richard Holloway. 'Going forward'. It's just a shifty PR's way of filling air time which would otherwise have to spent answering the question.

Chuck Unsworth

And:

'We feel your pain' (What in God's name does that mean?)
'Facility'
'Service' (as in Police)
'Issue(s)'
'Agenda'

I'm sorry, I could spend all day doing this. But I'd guess that most here feel that our language has been debased. That gradual process has led to an erosion and degredation of accurate communication.

Surely the whole purpose of using words accurately is to ensure that the recipients clearly understand one's comments?

However, it's also clear that many would prefer to use words to obscure, hence the rise of meaningless verbiage. Politicians, marketeers, lawyers, accountants etc have much to answer for.

And don't get me started on computers and software authors.........

Fergus Pickering

Working class. If we have upper and middle classes then it should surely be lower class? The supposition is (of course) that only the working class do any work. Hah!

Trumpeter Lanfried

Verity: You ask, 'Is there any legal way they can be made to cease and desist from calling their masters/ paymasters "clients"?'

Nope! But I don't mind what they call me so long as they get off my back and stop spending my money.

Keith

'We must address these issues'..Why? Where are you going to send them? Why not just say..'We must deal with this problem'.

Ted Tedford

'Free Tibet' - like that aspiration is ever going anywhere as long as the most you're prepared to sanction is hanging a poster on a crane. Pure posturing.

Chuck Unsworth

@ Ted Tedford

'Free Tibet'?

Is that a description, an instruction, or an offer - as in 'Free Tibet with every purchase'?

Wily Trout

'Stakeholder'

salieri

While we're at it, friends, can we please call a halt on "The words Deckchairs and Titanic come to mind"?

David Parker

From expensive, glossy NHS public consultation brochures;
A plurality of providers,
Meaningful dialogue,
Showcasing,
Issue engagement,
Your health, your say.
Stakeholders,
Essence of Care,
Facilitators,
Think tank.

Ted Tedford

@Chuck: From the ubiquitous advertising - car stickers, celebrity endorsements, badges, t shirts, aforementioned banners on cranes - and the vacuity of the idea, you would indeed think it was a special offer.

BrianSJ

Mock The Week had a wonderful sketch on this about Mugabe. The highlight for me was threatening to put a red sock in his white wash.

Sir Buffy de Vere Spoofington

How about "subscribe now for £1 per week"?

Merda taurorum animas conturbit

Wasn't it a Frenchman who once said that "the purpose of language is to obscure thought"?

KevinF

"I am/we are passionate about ..." usually until someone offers them a little bit more money to be passionate about something else.

Chuck Unsworth

@ Merda taurorum animas conturbit

Wasn't it a Frenchman who once said that "the purpose of language is to obscure thought"?

D'accord!

But then again, that's what French is for - viz E.U.

Augustus

There are many ineffectual and meaningless phrases. One I never liked was 'by and large'.

Keith

'I know where you're coming from' Well good for you 'cos it's a damned sight more than I do

Verity

Chuck Unsworth, re American spelling, you may already know this, and if you do, please forgive me. And if you don't already know, it might make you feel a bit better ...

The Americans use the original British spelling of the 17th and 18th Centuries, which is when they left Britain to go to the US. For some reason - perhaps because two or three hundred years ago, they were so isolated and weren't aware of changes taking place, the continued employing the original, whereas our usage began to change. There are many American words that originated centuries ago in Britain that are no longer in use here but are used as a matter of course in the United States. I can't think of many examples off the top of my head, but one is the very pretty word for Autumn: Fall. They use both in the US, but favour the old Fall. They never refer to "Autumn colours"; it is always "Fall colours". I think it is rather lovely that some forgotten aspects of our beautiful language have been unwittingly preserved in the natural course of events.

Ted Tedford

Verity: Ditto with the use of 'ize', often derided as 'incorrect' American usage, but the preferred spelling of the OED until very recently.

I have always thought 'theater' and 'center' are more manly, English spellings than their effeminate, Frenchified alternatives.

HJ

Verity,

While there is some truth in what you say (words like Fall and Gotten were originally English but have fallen into disuse here), it is not generally true that Americans have retained original English spellings.

There have been some English spellings that have changed (programme is a good example, due to a fashion for things French, whereas program was the original), but overall far more American spellings have changed. Some were due to the peculiarities of Noah Webster, others happened despite him, for example the dropping of the "'u' in colour and similar words. Hartford was originally spelled Hertford (as in the UK), and Americans changed the spelling to reflect pronunciation.

Personally, I welcome the differences (who wants complete uniformity?), but I'd prefer UK websites and articles to use our spellings.

Verity

Webster aside, some American spellings were simplified because not all backwoodsmen were finely educated and they spelled words as they sounded. Nothing wrong with that robust good sense.

But the words they imported from Britain two or three centuries ago were the words in common usage in our islands at the time, and those have been preserved by habit. I think the American connection to our past is lovely.

And there is absolutely no reason to spell progam programme except, as noted above, the fashion for Frenchification. Give me strong, direct Americanisation any day.

HJ - With the use of blogs, I think we may find an adoption of American spellings will become more common, as movies - oops! films! - and popular TV shows have sprayed the Anglosphere with Americanisms. All "you guys" who say "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" should "listen up" and "take that on board". "Like, now."

Having had another glance into the crystal ball, I predict that as India becomes more powerful, the Anglosphere will start adopting Anglo-Indian usages. (We already have 'bungalow', 'pyjamas' and many others I can't think of off the top of my head.) We are very lucky to have such a vast language and the agility to adopt new usages at the drop of a hat. Tiffin, anyone?

Verity

Think of all the words we have absorbed seamlessly from the Anglosphere/Commonwealth. Ozzie-isms alone are too numerous to list. Then all the words we use from the United States and India. And even Malaysia ... Amok is a Malaysian word. We have adapted it as an adjective, as in "he ran amok", whereas in Bahasa Malaysia, it is a noun. They will refer to "an amok".

Compare the constant breezy adaptations of our language with immobile, statuesque French. (And they're spiteful with it. They turned their noses up at using a derivation of 'computer'. Spanish has simply absorbed it as computadora, but France stands alone in all its moribund glory with 'ordinateur'.)

Incidentally, I note that since the advent of the blogosphere, Americans have begun adopting some of our usages, as well. Particularly popular on right wing sites like The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler and Little Green Footballs, is wanker.

Verity

Dizzy Dolly - Kevyn Bodman's posts are always readable and entertaining.

Trumpeter - Thanks!

Chuck Unsworth - Superb! Free Tibet with every purchase! Actually, these protesters are going nowhere as the Dalai Lama, who I believe speaks with weightier authority than the self-elected spokespersons for a "free Tibet" has stated that he is no longer seeking to free Tibet from China. He is seeking religious and cultural autonomy. He has seen the material benefits and comforts being part of China has brought to Tibetans and he is, above all, a practical man.

Commondog

On signs outside pubs in Bradford:

"Exciting business opportunity"

Commondog

"Providing solutions"

BTW what the hell is a "turnkey service"?
I asked a driver who had it on his van the other day and he didn't have a clue.

"Rain check" (Don't bother, it's raining)
But what is meant by this anyway? When do I use it?

On a similar theme, we could have the world's most popular lies:
No5: "We will cut taxes"
No4: "It will ride up with wear Sir"
No3: "It's only surface rust"
No2: "The cheque's in the post"

Frank Pulley

Commondog - you chickened out; you know that there are at least two others that should supercede "the cheque's in the post" in that hoary old 'most popular lie' trilogy.

And yes, you're right ... I just bottled out, too! We don't want to get the blog closed down, do we? Or even give the moderator the vapours ...

Commondog

Frank.

Go on man, you're only young once.

johnlocke

I'm surprised that nobody's yet mentioned Orwell's essay, 'Politics and the English Language'.

Search on Google for it. It's worth the twenty minutes' reading time.

johnlocke

Oh, and of course, let's not forget Boris Johnson's priceless 'I'm a libertarian, and I'm against the smoking ban.'

sofi

'rising concern from the international community' - oh, so we're all allies now with a spotless track record? all puffed-up with feigned furrowed brow. please.

Dizzy Dolly

Thank you, Verity, for the 'heads up'! I bow to your judg[?]ment and mean no harm to Mr. Bodman. I do, nevertheless, resist deconstruction of the logic that underlies our grammar. That is because, IMHOP, acceptance of the fracturing pays into the 'subversions' of Marxist claptrap. Further, I resent perversion of our old and good word 'Other' by the aforesaid 'franco-german f'lossyfers'.

Thank you for your excellent explanation of the 'diaspora effect' in English. Like HJ, I remember US preservation of 'gotten'.

I'm also in tune with all who turn against effeminate and Frenchified spelling. Not that I see Americanization as especially masculine: surely women do well to practice directness, and truth to pronunciation...or anything! I believe there's a Yorkshire tradition of valuing those characteristics, regardless of gender.

In any case, I like the verbal exchange that goes on in 'Verity's Anglosphere'. An American recently elucidated 'edgy' for me.
In this vein, I'm even refreshed to hear words like 'bonkers' and 'bananas' in unfamiliar accents!

As for computer programmers ... I suspect that many of them don't understand either English or people! I can't ever hang about while a list 'is populated'! Some Korean specialists from Information Studies, however, insist that we hear about 'health consumers'....

Peace. Though I rather like "Pax".

Dizzy Dolly

@ Merda taurorum animas conturbit; et Chuck.
You both remind me of what the Romans did to the Gauls...and what the French did to Latin in return.
OK - so long as none of them succeed in doing it to English...