Status Anxiety

Toby Young

Wednesday, 27th August 2008

I feel like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show, but trapped in the Boden catalogue

Like many of the middle-class families holidaying in Cornwall at the moment, I have been on another holiday this year — an excursion that required all seven of us to fly to America. Nevertheless, I do not allow this to impinge on my feeling of moral superiority. This may be absurd, but logical consistency has never been a hallmark of the green movement. Being an environmentalist, like being Catholic, is compatible with a limitless degree of hypocrisy. At least I flew on a commercial airline — unlike Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio and Prince Charles, who regularly fly around the world on private jets.

A moment’s reflection would reveal just how absurd it is that Cornwall has become the holiday destination of choice for those wishing to advertise their green credentials. Surely, if the Camerons really cared about saving the planet, they would take their children somewhere nearer home, such as the Midlands. It took me seven hours to drive to St Ives, whereas it only takes two to get to Birmingham. It is typical of the greens’ twisted logic that Cornwall, one of the most far-flung parts of the UK, has become an ‘environmentally correct’ place to go on holiday. However, a trip to Roskilly’s, the most fashionable ice cream manufacturer in the county, quickly puts paid to any such doubts. At the Roskilly’s farm just outside Coverack, children can stroke the different animals roaming freely in the fields, while adults can visit the ‘organic herb shop’ to stock up on oregano and coriander. In the farm shop, alongside the local produce, environmentally conscious consumers can buy Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s River Cottage ice cream — ‘Cream, eggs, sugar and nothing else’, boasts the label. Looking around at the trendy, middle-class parents and their blond children dressed in stripey T-shirts, I feel a bit like Jim Carrey’s character in The Truman Show. Only instead of a middle-American suburb, I am trapped in the Boden catalogue.

Perhaps I am being unfair and the reason Cornwall is popular with parents of my age is because flying anywhere with small children is a nightmare. It certainly has a plethora of beautiful beaches and, viewed from the terrace of Olga Polizzi’s hotel in St Maw’s, the coastline is spectacular. But I have an awful feeling that these assets will not be sufficient to sustain the boom. Within a few years, London’s fashion-conscious environmentalists will have settled on a new place to take their families. My money is on John O’Groats.

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robert

August 28th, 2008 1:17pm Report this comment

Do they feature slap-heads in the Boden catalogue?

Steve Harper

August 28th, 2008 2:27pm Report this comment

A "plethora" of beautiful beaches? Wow!

Peter Rockhill

August 29th, 2008 12:07pm Report this comment

Toby, any human institution, like being Catholic, is capable of a limitless degree of hypocrisy. But please don't squander your talent on lazy journalistic shorthand like 'Catholic' for 'society's ills'- the Guardian have that cornered. We can all improve on our intrinsic hypocrisy, but in the meantime - as we say in the Church - there's always room for one more.

Anxiously stable

August 29th, 2008 12:39pm Report this comment

Presumably the air of wellbeing is enhanced by having the wife and nanny look after the brood while you peruse Jamie's latest offerings on the menu board. We'll be visiting the south coast of Cornwall next week and I'm terrified that my youngest, who's never happier than when he's toddling around with huge chunks of edible matter in either paw, will be picked on viciously by the voracious gulls that inhabit the shoreline down in that part of the world. We're driving to Cornwall for the first time, too. Still, the family's staying there for a week so I should have time to recover before the return journey.

Toby Young

August 30th, 2008 12:03am Report this comment

If you're driving, my advice is to do it in the middle of the night. On the way down, my wife picked me up at Heathrow at 10.30pm and we were in the cottage by 3pm. On the way back, we departed at 10.30am and weren't back home until 8pm.

anxiously stable

September 1st, 2008 9:53am Report this comment

Thanks for the driving tip Toby.
How did you get on with The Weakest Link by the way? I tried to watch a bit yesterday afternoon, but my attempts to switch over from CBBC was met with howls of disapproval from The Master of the House (and this after traipsing around with him for four hours at both the Science and Natural History museums.)