Status Anxiety

6 September 2008

Why Kirsten Dunst banned me from the set of the film about my life

In the current issue of Empire there is a piece by Bob Weide, the director of How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, in which he says that the reason I was banned from the set of the film is because Kirsten Dunst insisted on it. I was not aware of this until now, but I can’t say I’m surprised.

On my first visit to the set, I went bounding up to Kirsten and said, ‘So, have you fallen in love with me yet?’ She had been cast as the female lead in the film and what I meant was, ‘Has the character you’re playing fallen in love with the character Simon Pegg is playing who is based on me?’ Unfortunately, she had no idea who I was and, consequently, didn’t know what I was talking about. She looked at me with mounting alarm as if I was some demented stalker who had got past security.

As it happens, this was not the incident that tipped her over the edge. That occurred on a subsequent visit when she overheard me giving the producer a ‘note’ on her performance in a particular scene. I felt that she hadn’t fully grasped what was supposed to be going on and that she ought to be enlightened. At the time, I didn’t think of it as a criticism, more as a helpful bit of advice, and the producer took it in that spirit. But Kirsten overheard this exchange and interpreted it as a complaint about her acting ability. It was after this, apparently, that she took Bob to one side and asked if I could be kept at arm’s length in future.

To give full credit to Bob, he carried out this edict with a good deal of tact. After I had delivered my ‘note’ to the producer, I followed up with an email to Bob in which I apologised for breathing down his neck and said I found it very difficult to be on the set without sticking my oar in. His reply consisted of just five words: ‘Very easy solution to this.’ In other words, stay the f*** away. I didn’t realise it, but this was, in effect, Bob carrying out Kirsten’s instructions.

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Anxiously stable

September 4th, 2008 10:03am Report this comment

Couldn't you have introduced yourself as Tony Young (the celebrated Telegraph columnist), then blamed him for all the ensuing faux pas?

Production Assistant

September 5th, 2008 6:06am Report this comment

Unfortunately I feel that Toby, is a self absorbed arse. It's upon reading his book that I made this decision.
I have no compassion for him, as he's probably even more rude in person than he projects in this article.

Peter Graves

September 10th, 2008 2:02am Report this comment

Kirsten Dunst,aka the dead eyes of London , who should never have given up the day job could ban ya?
It's an excellent line for your dirge, isn't it? Btw: Dunst is German for wet air...and that's what she is..