A cliché too far

27 September 2008

Taken
15, Nationwide

Taken is the latest film from the French film-maker Luc Besson and is about American, ex-CIA agent Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) who turns Paris upside down — ‘I’ll tear down the Eiffel Tower if I have to!’ — in his search for his abducted, 17-year-old daughter, Kim, although, personally, I wouldn’t have bothered. Kim is so irritating. Kim is so excitable and such a pampered flouncer to boot. ‘Bryan,’ I’d have said to him if I could, ‘you’re better off without her; so excitable and such a pampered flouncer to boot. Now, let’s go eat.’ But doting dads are doting dads, I guess, and there is just no stopping him, which is a shame, as what follows is a big sorry mess of the most clichéed, improbable and xenophobic kind. ‘Bryan,’ I’d have also said,’ I am very hungry and if I don’t have supper soon I shall faint.’ I probably wouldn’t have fainted — have yet to faint, ever — but I think I’d have tried anything, pulled out all the stops. Still, I wouldn’t have added that I’d tear down the Eiffel Tower if I had to, as that’s just silly.

The film opens in California; happy, sunny California where you are safe because bad, swarthy foreigners can’t get to you. That’s the feeling, anyway, and it is weird, I agree. After all, Besson is French and Neeson is Irish but there you have it. There must just be no accounting for pro-American fervour and sentimentalism sometimes, although an eye on the box office must help. Anyway, we are introduced to Bryan: big, tough Bryan who has retired early so he can live nearer to and get closer to ‘Kimmy’, who lives with his ex-wife and her husband, Stuart, a zillionaire. Stuart is always outclassing Bryan. Bryan gives Kim a karaoke machine for her 17th birthday. Stuart gives her a pony. Ouch! That cliché always hurts. And, boy, does Kim squeal excitedly when she sees that pony. Kim, you are already thinking, deserves whatever is coming to her. Bring it on! Lay her out!

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