Another Voice

Matthew Parris

Wednesday, 8th October 2008

Sit back and enjoy the world economic crisis in three minutes

EXIT Citizen.

Mr Moneybags (alone on stage): Heh-heh! I’ve sold lots of mortgages this week. I’m in for a big fat bonus. But... (scratches head) my bank will need more funds if we’re to honour all the cheques I’ve been writing. (Calls) Hey, Mr Dollarsacks!

ENTER Dollarsacks

Mr Moneybags: Ah, Dollarsacks, I need a £1,000 loan.

Mr Dollarsacks: Sure. What’s your security?

Mr Moneybags: Here’s my mortgage book. There’s mortgages in this sealed envelope to the value of £1,000, mostly on bricks, which, as you know, are rocketing in value. (Hands him the envelope) Nice return on them too. No need to scrutinise the details.

Mr Dollarsacks: Indeed not. Bricks are safe as houses. (Takes envelope. To himself:) Heh-heh! A major transaction. I’m in for a big fat bonus. (To Moneybags) Here’s your cheque.

ENTER Messrs Citizen, Jones, Ballpark-Estimate and Whatam-Ibid, and Mrs Jones and Ms Dreamhomes. They join Messrs Moneybags & Dollarsacks in a high-kicking dance, chorusing:

All:   No return to boom and bust!
    In some clay we’ve placed our trust.
    Though it isn’t quite clear how,
    Everyone’s a winner now!

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Yvonne

October 9th, 2008 3:15pm Report this comment

No, it can't really be that bad, can it? Will Sheik I'veoilbelow have the last word?

Herbert Thornton

October 12th, 2008 7:04pm Report this comment

Yvonne -

Yes it can. Sheik I'veoilbelow corners the market in bricks and uses them to build another Mosque which he believes the most of the dramatis personae, including somebody called Rowan bin Williams, will soon obediently attend, though for some strange reason nobody in the congregation seems to be called Griffin.

Familiar Clown

October 12th, 2008 8:54pm Report this comment

The sometime stand-up comedian
Mr Brown, who got his first big break in 1997, also has a number of one man shows, including his own composition
One Man Wrecking Machine, under his belt along with many televison appearances.

Inspired by true events on movie screens
I am a one man wrecking machine.
Here in the present tense
Nothing makes sense.
Waiting for my moment to come
everything's come undone.

David Dzidzikashvili

December 13th, 2008 2:56pm Report this comment

Current global financial crisis was a result of greed by large investment & financial institutions, CEOs and individual investors, whose policies dragged whole world down and resulted in inflation, unemployment, foreclosures and bankruptcies. The worst still yet to come in 2009. There is a need for more stable financial system that leaders around the world can agree on to guarantee long-term stability. In addition, the investors who personally were involved in the greed schemes that caused the economic chaos should be arrested and jailed for their involvement in the world economic catastrophe. We can’t tolerate anymore some individuals’ greedy aspirations ruining the lives of people around the world.

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