Status Anxiety

11 October 2008

My ten-point guide to being just like me and Peter Mandelson

5. Cultivate a persecution complex. That way, you can treat each setback as just one more challenge to be overcome — I’ll show those bastards! -— rather than a reason to give up. As Churchill said, success consists of going from one failure to the next with no lack of enthusiasm. (Churchill, incidentally, is the patron saint of the Failing Upwards Movement: he failed on the beaches, he failed on the landing grounds, he failed in the fields and on the streets, he failed in the hills — but he never surrendered.)

6. Do not fear unpopularity. The advantage of being widely disliked is that the few friends you have will be fiercely protective of you. They will take pride in defending you against the mob; it makes them feel noble and morally courageous. Paradoxically, one of the by-products of being almost universally loathed is that you attract a very loyal group of friends.

7. Do not bear grudges. If you are going to burn a lot of bridges in your career, it is important to master the art of rebuilding them. The key to this is to start each relationship afresh, even if the person in question has repeatedly stabbed you in the back. (Mandelson on Brown: ‘Of course we’ve had our ups and downs, but we have also known each other for over 20 years and originally we worked very well together.’)

8. Only deal with the people at the top. If you are unpopular, you are far more likely to win over the Alpha dogs than the lapdogs immediately beneath them. Being friends with an ‘untouchable’ like you enables them to advertise just how secure they are in their social status.

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robert

October 9th, 2008 7:36pm Report this comment

How depressing

Victoria

October 10th, 2008 3:22pm Report this comment

The quotation you cite is not anonymous. It was said (or written) by Calvin Coolidge.

David Short

October 13th, 2008 6:13pm Report this comment

This can be summed up in just one phrase: suck up to those above you, and spit on those below.

All it takes is a total lack of self-respect.

The great Gatsby

October 15th, 2008 5:37pm Report this comment

Some of your articles, pretty
funny, hehe.

Anielka

October 22nd, 2008 6:16pm Report this comment

Actually, despite being side-splittingly funny I found:
(i) the Macdonald's quote very inspiring (reminded me of Woody Allen - "80% of success is turning up")
(ii) I have a lot more in common with Mr. Mandelson than I thought
(iii) I feel much more comfortable with being hated than I did prior to reading this.
Thank you.