Status anxiety

25 October 2008

Contrary to popular wisdom, fame has forced me to become a nicer person

This last example points to a larger truth, namely, that status anxiety is, to a very great extent, manufactured by the person suffering from it. I do not just mean it is a subjective impression caused by measuring your worth against those higher up the food chain than you — which is a conscious choice, after all. More than this, it depends on imagining personal snubs where none are intended. Thus, in my own case, people actively furnish themselves with an excuse to feel affronted by me by convincing themselves I was a model of social propriety before I became famous. In fact, I’ve always been a bit of a troglodyte.

If this observation is correct — and I am sure it is — the implication is that people are quite attached to their feelings of inferiority. Otherwise, why invent a reason to feel slighted? One explanation is that, unconsciously, we all recognise that our long-standing inferiority complexes are an integral part of what drives us. Without the illusion that successful people are looking down their noses at us, we would not feel the need to prove ourselves. As David Simon, the creator of The Wire, said in a recent New Yorker interview: ‘Anything I’ve ever done in my life, down to cleaning up my room, has been accomplished because I was going to show people that they were f***ed up and wrong and that I was the f***ing centre of the universe.’

Should I be worried that my own energy will dissipate now that I am more likely to provoke status anxiety in others than experience it? I don’t think so, not least because my time in the spotlight is already drawing to a close. The other day I was standing in a nightclub when a beautiful girl approached and asked if I would mind if her friend took a photograph of the two of us. ‘Not at all,’ I said, throwing my arm around her. Then, just before her friend pushed the button, I said, ‘You know, I’m not really Harry Hill.’ It was intended as a self-deprecating joke — I did not think she had actually mistaken me for the bespectacled comedian — but her reaction was instantaneous: ‘Really? Oh God. How embarrassing!’

She then signalled her friend with a throat-cutting gesture, as if to say, ‘Don’t even waste a digital photograph on this loser.’

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alan

October 23rd, 2008 8:58am Report this comment

1. I did not bother to count the number of times you used either the word 'I', I've' or 'my' in this article. You will notice I have used either one only twice so far, one per sentence. This is a fault that is easily cured. Try writing anything, even if it's just one sentence, without using any of those words. See? It is possible. You're cured!
2. I have always believed that the reason why the British are so obsessed with being superior is their inbuilt inferiority complex. The reason, I guess, for The Empire. One successive defeat after the other, since time immemorial. How dare we now not be subject? Rule, Britannia, rule!

Yvonne

October 23rd, 2008 3:06pm Report this comment

This chap thinks he is a somebody and really he is a nobody. The rest of the world knows the truth- just live with it Toby, get on with enjoying your life and stop secondguessing other peoples' reaction to you. The only trouble is you won't have anything to write about.....

Anxiously stable

October 23rd, 2008 3:47pm Report this comment

‘Fame, fame, fatal fame. It can play hideous tricks on the brain.’ So sang the immortal Morrisey, warning of the fleeting nature of celebrity culture. Still, with weekly takings of the movie falling by first 30 then 46%, you shouldn't have to bear this hideous burden for much longer Toby.

David Short

October 23rd, 2008 11:40pm Report this comment

I once sent a Lookalike note to Private Eye comparing your byline photo with Harry Hill, and I was amazed it was not published.

Perhaps it was because it was long before you were so famous.

You were wise to apostrophise the word 'civilians'.

Liz Hurley was the B or C-list actress who originally used the word.

She wasn't that great in her 'heyday' and it surely has backfired on her.

Just as well she got herself up the duff by a very rich gentleman.

Getting yourself up the duff by accident by any old joe is very easy to avoid these days, and to be avoided.

Getting yourself up the duff by a billionaire is very easy to accomplish, and - for a fortyish starlet - to be welcomed.

Fergus Pickering

October 24th, 2008 7:00pm Report this comment

Good heavens are you famous! I've never heard of you.

Derek Holmes

October 26th, 2008 3:22pm Report this comment

I've read your article which I thought totally uninspiring and towards the end I still not only had no idea who you are but I truly have no desire to be so informed.

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