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By the time they stop being mad, politicians are the right age for the House

20 October 2007

What can we do to preserve all this, in the future, as the House of Commons irrevocably turns into a warped version of The X Factor? As mad youth overcomes all, perhaps we could have some kind of second legislative house, which values experience and knowledge and calm reflection. Although perhaps we already do, and perhaps we are trying to get rid of it. See? I did promise. This is a column about the reform of the House of Lords.

Or at least that bit of it was. This bit is a column about robbing banks. Did you know that hardly anybody in Britain seems to bother any more? From 2005 to 2006 there were only 30 successful bank stick-ups across the whole country, and only about twice that many which failed. A clear indication, this, of the apathetic depths to which Britain’s criminal underclass has sunk. They cannot even be bothered to be criminals any more.

Compare this to Italy of all places, where over 3,000 bank robberies were attempted — some 57 per cent of the European total. Whatever happened to the great Protestant work ethic? And this is energetic stuff. The Guardian quotes one Ferrara bank clerk who says, ‘Four robbers with wigs and masks came in speaking English, French and Spanish among themselves to avoid identification, and fled on bicycles.’

You have to wonder about these bicycles. Do bicycles really make for a swift, reliable getaway? Were they all affixed safely to the railings outside, front wheels and saddles removed, D-lock through the frame? Did the robbers all run out, each fumbling with a key and a mini-spanner? Or is Italy a country where a man feels entirely comfortable leaving his bicycle unlocked outside a bank, wheels and all, even while he is inside robbing it?

Most robberies, say the Italian authorities, are the work of ‘small-time crooks, usually armed with knives not guns’. The surge, they say, is due both to a large prisoner amnesty in Italy’s jails (whoops) and to a major increase in the number of Italian banks. The latter would seem to suggest that more people in Britain would rob banks, if only they could find them. There is an element of truth in that, I suppose. You don’t hear much about Post Office robberies these days, do you?

Hugo Rifkind is a writer for the Times.

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David Doughan

October 21st, 2007 5:43pm Report this comment

Sir: Hugo Rifkind is understandably incredulous at bank robbers in Ferrar using bicycles for their getaway. Actually, this is not quite as bizarre as it first seems: Ferrara is as flat as a piadina, and most Ferrarese are cyclists. While this conjures up a picture of Amsterdam or Copenhagen, it has to be remembered that Ferrara is in Italy, and Italians ride the bikes in much the same way as they drive their cars. So it would come naturally to a Ferrarese robber to escape by pedal power. Yours, etc. David Doughan 120 Kenley Road London SW19 3DW

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