Global Warning

22 November 2008

The other day, the 9.56 bus to the nearest train station was late and the people at the stop — of whom I was by far the youngest — began to grumble a little. Then, looming out of the mist, appeared the driver.

Near the front of the bus was a notice:

no standing in front of this line
do not distract the driver while the bus is moving

The passenger with the crutches hung on manfully to a rail in front of the line and chatted with the driver the whole way. It did one’s heart good to see rules in this rule-mad country flouted so without a second thought.

Above my head was another notice, this one with the NHS logo:

if your gp needs you to see a specialist you can choose to go to any hospital in england, including many private and independent ones — free of charge

If your GP needs you to, nota bene, not if you need to, and not even if he advises you to. Then comes the real character-destroyer:

whatever your reason, its’s your right

Ha! I saw my GP a few weeks ago. It took two weeks and many phone calls to get an appointment. Afterwards, I spent a happy hour or two trying to work out how long it would take in my little town to get to see the same doctor twice.

There are 12 doctors in the practice, in one of those new polyclinic buildings known affectionately to the profession as ‘Darzi’s karzis’. The women among them are usually on maternity leave and the men, nearing retirement, off sick, leaving the short-term locums. So I estimated that, with determination and effort, and bearing in mind the many imponderables, and ruling out exceptional luck, I might get to see the same doctor twice in nine months or so.

On the way back from the station I took a taxi. There was a notice inside:

if you are sick it is an automatic £25 fine