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Status Anxiety

22 November 2008

I’m the celebrity who told ITV there was too much Ant and Dec — get me out of here!

‘I think we’ve heard enough,’ said the series producer. ‘Is there anything you’d like to ask us?’

‘Yes, actually,’ I said. ‘Why so much Ant and Dec? If I have one criticism of the show, it’s that there’s far too much of them and not enough of the contestants. If I were you, I’d cut them right down to the bone.’

The producers looked at me with open-mouthed astonishment. Had I really just criticised the two biggest stars in light entertainment? Didn’t I realise that Ant and Dec are the jewels in ITV’s crown? It was as if I’d been interviewed by the Pope about a job as a cardinal and, at the end of the meeting, told him to cut down on all that guff about Jesus. The atmosphere in the room became so leaden that I expected a trapdoor to open at my feet, plunging me down a shoot and sending me cartwheeling on to the street. Needless to say, I never heard from them again.

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Comments Post comment

ian skidmore

November 20th, 2008 12:05pm Report this comment

your instinct was correct

J Harris

November 22nd, 2008 11:47am Report this comment

Toby Young please comment on the other ICGmUOH. The inane stupid amatuer spin off on ITV2. The hosts of this ridicules excuse for a programme bounce around like monkies on a stick. Please ban these people from the air waves they're more offensive than Ross & Grant and don't have a fraction of their talent.

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