Status Anxiety

Wednesday, 19th November 2008

I’m the celebrity who told ITV there was too much Ant and Dec — get me out of here!

Earlier this year I made a life-changing decision. I realised after I had made it that it had been simmering away, on the edge of my consciousness, for some months. But at the time it seemed revelatory: one of those epiphanies that the American self-help guru Dr Phil calls a ‘defining moment’.

‘Darling,’ I said to my wife over breakfast, ‘there’s something I need to tell you.’

‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘You haven’t been fired again?’ ‘No, no, nothing like that. I’ve decided that if I get the call-up to appear on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! this year, I’m going to say no.’

She looked stunned.

‘Are you feeling OK? You haven’t had a mini-stroke have you?’

‘I’m being serious. Appearing on a reality show no longer has the allure it once did.’

‘Wow!’ she said. ‘I’ve read about men who experience a complete personality change for no apparent reason, but I never thought it would happen to you.’

I should say at once that this resolution was never put to the test. I did not get the call-up this year and, had I done so, I might have been tempted. But I like to think I would have stuck to my guns. Contrary to my wife’s reaction, this is not an attack of high-mindedness. More a gut feeling that being a contestant on a reality show — even one watched by ten million viewers a night — no longer has the impact it once did. After winning I’m a Celebrity in 2003, Phil Tufnell went on to earn over £1 million in less than a fortnight. The winner of series six, by contrast, was a former boy band member called Matt Willis. He spent five weeks earlier this year in rehab.

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ian skidmore

November 20th, 2008 12:05pm Report this comment

your instinct was correct

J Harris

November 22nd, 2008 11:47am Report this comment

Toby Young please comment on the other ICGmUOH. The inane stupid amatuer spin off on ITV2. The hosts of this ridicules excuse for a programme bounce around like monkies on a stick. Please ban these people from the air waves they're more offensive than Ross & Grant and don't have a fraction of their talent.

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