Another Voice

31 January 2009

A floral shrine and an aspiring publisher made me ashamed of my unkindness

I was walking along Limehouse Causeway, a narrow street running close to the Thames in East London. It was about half past eight in the morning, I was short of sleep and feeling temporarily annoyed with, oh, nothing in particular — just everything. Approaching a junction I saw from some distance that the pedestrian railings hugging this corner were a mass of flowers and paper.

That irritated me. Presumably a memorial to somebody who had died nearby. Sad, no doubt, but we never used to make roadside shrines like this in England and the habit has always struck me as mawkish and somehow pagan. Getting closer, it became clear that the whole corner had been turned into a crematorium-style display, with masses of blossoms, trinkets, letters, soft toys and the like. My grumpiness increased. ‘Sweep it all away,’ I thought. ‘Death is a private thing. Let people mourn privately. Whatever happened to our English reserve?’

I reached the corner, and stopped to look. Two little girls were there, perhaps tending, perhaps observing the temporary memorial, so I hid my feelings and started to read the tributes. It seemed the deceased was a youth called Kane Theodore, known to his friends as The Fizz.

The longest tribute was stuck to a lamp-post, a whole letter, written in an unsophisticated hand, addressed to young Kane — an outpouring of affection and grief, starting with: ‘Kane, we can’t believe your acctually gone everybody thought you was going to pull through...’

I was beginning to feel a bit sheepish about my irascibility. I looked at some of the many photographs of Kane: probably of mixed race, not particularly handsome but a cheeky, open face; and so young. ‘RIP 1993-2009. Kane. Always remembered’ said a card, with a little heart attached. Gosh, only 15 or 16. He had died on Friday 16 January.

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John Savage

January 29th, 2009 6:26pm Report this comment

Thank you for this article.

Perhaps it may be interpreted as dealing with an unimportant matter but, how we interact and deal with each other is the most basic building block of our society.

On a personal note, I am sure that we will all recognise some of ourselves. I certainly do.

Roz Kadir

January 30th, 2009 11:02am Report this comment

A very levelling piece, and something most of us recognise in ourselves. We need to slow down and take time to look around us and appreciate more what we have.

Patricia Anderson

February 1st, 2009 7:50pm Report this comment

I too had curled up my nose at the dead flowers and teddy bears until I saw a grieving couple actually at a spot one day. From the way she was stooped stroking the ground I knew this was the mother, and as a mother I was ashamed of myself for being so snotty before. So as I cleared my tears as I read your piece I linked on the the young woman publishers website and that made me smile. She is someone out there trying hard in a bleak 2009, and her wedsite alone was so so nice and it made me want to smile. I dont need a job and I only sometimes babysit a dog but I want to buy one of her writers books just to show support for the future. Perhaps we can cope with the deaths if we help with others lives.

Leo Bajzert

February 4th, 2009 2:20pm Report this comment

I adored this article, and so has everyone I've forwarded the link to. Wonderfu, heart-wrenching writing. And as Mr Savage notes below, I think one of the reasons it strikes such a chord is that we all recognise the feeling. Parris never ceases to make me want to have to tea with him.

Charlie Venn

February 8th, 2009 5:57pm Report this comment

This is just a short note to say thank you. I'm the 'small woman' who (for the record, uncharacteristically) accosted poor Mr Parris, and never for a moment would have dared to hope he would write such an article as this. The piece has resulted in a positively overwhelming interest in Short Stack Publishing and most importantly in Winkie's book. Matthew Parris is a truly fantastic chap, as are the many Spectator readers who have emailed from all over the world expressing support for our little business and in many cases buying the books too. Thank you very very much!

scott21

March 26th, 2009 12:33pm Report this comment

Thank you Matthew. I did identify with your article, which was touching and moving. In fact, I have just been on Short Stack's website to order a book. There was a slight problem in processing the order, so I called and Charlie answered. She was absolutely delightful and completed the order herself there and then. Best of luck to you, Charlie and many thanks to you, Matthew, for bringing Short Stack to everyone's attention.

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