Status Anxiety

Toby Young

6 June 2009

Who sits in Upper Class? The battle of the sexes was never fiercer

‘Can we swap back now?’ I asked.

‘And leave me to deal with all the children on my own?’

‘They won’t give you any trouble. Charlie and Freddie are asleep and the other two are watching a movie. Come and see for yourself. All’s rosy in the garden.’

She accompanied me back to Economy where we were greeted by the sight of a red-faced Charlie, screaming his head off, and three empty seats. What was going on?

Just then, Ludo came hurtling down the aisle, clutching a carton of apple juice, hotly pursued by a flight attendant. Freddie was just visible in the galley behind him. He had removed all his clothes and, judging from his arched back, was readying himself for a ‘standing-up wee’. Sasha was lying on the floor between the seats, trying to get some sleep.

Caroline scooped up Sasha and took her back to Upper Class to share her bed, leaving me to deal with the other three. By the time we touched down at Heathrow, I felt at least ten years older.

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siobhan kindness

June 4th, 2009 12:54pm Report this comment

hilarious - I can well relate to that. Well, not sitting in first class, but...

David Short

June 4th, 2009 6:07pm Report this comment

Glad I wasn't on that flight, particularly if I (or, more likely, someone else) had paid for Upper Class.

I know it's sometimes unavoidable (sort of) to take little kids on long plane journeys, as in the case of, say, an Anglo-Kenyan like TY's friend Aidan Hartley (who sensibly wrote hereonce about his offspring on a long flight, 'it's a baby!') but if you've got four, and you have no family ties to Las Vegas it's inexcusable to take them on a plane.

Plus you end up filling a column writing about your children, which is Polly Filler, and definitely female, territory.

Anxiously stable

June 5th, 2009 2:10pm Report this comment

Glad to have you back Toby. Has spending a month in sunny Nevada helped reconfigure your distorted forehead?

lord falmouth

June 7th, 2009 2:50pm Report this comment

We could all write stuff like this. Do we pay the Speccie to read about life and times in NW1? When I think what we had with Steyn, Dalrymple and Johnson. It's getting so Women's Own.