Status Anxiety

Toby Young

Wednesday, 3rd June 2009

Who sits in Upper Class? The battle of the sexes was never fiercer

I am not a particularly religious man, but occasionally something happens that convinces me there really is a God. I was in the Virgin Atlantic departure lounge in Las Vegas, resigned to spending the next nine-and-a-half hours sitting in Economy with my family, when an announcement came over the tannoy: ‘Would Toby Young please come to the front desk.’ I’d been upgraded. I would be seated in Upper Class while Caroline and the four children would be in steerage.

‘You are joking?’ said Caroline when I told her the news.

‘What? No, it’s true.’

‘In that case, I’ll take it and you can sit in Economy with the children.’

I laughed uproariously at this, but it became clear from the look on her face that she wasn’t joking.

‘I’ll ask. But it may not be possible.’

I stayed with Caroline before take-off, helping to get the children into their seats — those that had them, anyway. Charlie, our 11-month-old, would spend the 5,235-mile journey sitting on his mother’s lap. When the seat belt sign came on and it was time to return to the front of the plane I tried to compose my features into a look of stoical resignation and trudged slowly to my seat. At least, I did until I was out of sight. The moment I passed the curtain dividing Economy from Premium, I let out a silent cheer and skipped the rest of the way. As I sunk into the upholstered luxury of my Upper Class seat, I could just make out the sound of Charlie crying in the background. Luckily, I had a pair of noise-reducing headphones in my hand luggage.

About an hour and a half later, Caroline appeared with Charlie.

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siobhan kindness

June 4th, 2009 12:54pm Report this comment

hilarious - I can well relate to that. Well, not sitting in first class, but...

David Short

June 4th, 2009 6:07pm Report this comment

Glad I wasn't on that flight, particularly if I (or, more likely, someone else) had paid for Upper Class.

I know it's sometimes unavoidable (sort of) to take little kids on long plane journeys, as in the case of, say, an Anglo-Kenyan like TY's friend Aidan Hartley (who sensibly wrote hereonce about his offspring on a long flight, 'it's a baby!') but if you've got four, and you have no family ties to Las Vegas it's inexcusable to take them on a plane.

Plus you end up filling a column writing about your children, which is Polly Filler, and definitely female, territory.

Anxiously stable

June 5th, 2009 2:10pm Report this comment

Glad to have you back Toby. Has spending a month in sunny Nevada helped reconfigure your distorted forehead?

lord falmouth

June 7th, 2009 2:50pm Report this comment

We could all write stuff like this. Do we pay the Speccie to read about life and times in NW1? When I think what we had with Steyn, Dalrymple and Johnson. It's getting so Women's Own.