Status Anxiety

Wednesday, 27th February 2008

I can’t afford to send my children to private school — and I’m relishing the cachet

So far, I’ve been absolutely delighted by the education Sasha has received at the local primary. She has been there less than six months and has already been taught to read and write. She’s taking a French class as well as a drama class and is thinking of learning Spanish next term. Not bad for a four-year-old and surely no less than she would be doing in reception at a private school.

Perhaps more importantly, her social circle is far wider than it would be if she was at somewhere like Norland Place. She has black friends, Muslim friends, friends who live on council estates, as well as friends who live in semi-detached Victorian houses in Shepherd’s Bush. Admittedly, she doesn’t know anyone whose parents own private jets, but I think that is a privation she can live with. The reaction of my well-to-do friends when I tell them my daughter is at a state school hasn’t been as negative as I was expecting. On the contrary, they seem weirdly impressed, as if I was making a choice, rather than being forced to do it out of necessity. In their eyes, I am taking the bold step to opt out of the educational rat-race, something many of them wish they could do, but don’t have the courage to.

I hope they don’t follow my example. In about 13 years’ time, when my children start applying to Oxford and Cambridge, they will have the politically correct advantage of not having been educated privately — and the fewer competitors they have in the state sector the better. There was nothing my father enjoyed more than bumping into old friends who had lavished hundreds of thousands of pounds on their children’s education, only to see them end up failing to get into Manchester Polytechnic. My father would let slip that I had managed to get into Oxford in spite of the fact that he hadn’t spent a penny on my education. It is a pleasure I very much hope to share in the years to come.

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gempop

February 28th, 2008 7:20pm Report this comment

Absolutely agre with you Toby. It's a massive misconception that private school have better, more qualified teachers. In fact, private schools are able to employ WHOEVER THEY LIKE as a teacher, regardless of qualifications. State schools do NOT have this option!

Rob Hall

February 29th, 2008 2:09pm Report this comment

As someone who experienced both types of education, state and private, I have to agree that it is waste of money. However sending your kids go to private nursery before 'big school' gives them a better chance in life as the first couple of weeks at secondary school are spent by teachers dividing school pupils up into groups by intellect (especially at secondary schools where there are more kids generally and some will learn at a faster rate than others, therefore it helps to divide kids school room classes by ability) I believe spending money on your childs education at a very early age – before secondary school is a good idea, this helps to ensure that your children are placed with the other bright kids, and we all know about people becoming products of their environment…

THX1138

March 4th, 2008 2:00pm Report this comment

Toby Why is that everyone who went to Oxford keeps feeling the need to tell the rest of us? I think from now we should call it Oxurrets Syndrome the unnecessary and or unprompted blurting out of I went to Oxford in print or any social situation. Spectator Journalists seem to be particular sufferers of this very serious and depilating condition.

Toby Young

March 4th, 2008 4:55pm Report this comment

Am I right in thinking you didn't go to Oxford?

THX1138

March 4th, 2008 7:52pm Report this comment

Toby- Your right I didn't go to Oxford. We have in joke in my family about this. One of my wife's subordinates at work told her after being passed over for promotion "but I went to Oxford" we had a good laugh but after that we started noticing it everywhere & your column was but the latest example. Please don't be offend it was meant as light hearted aside. I hope you kids get to Oxbridge & you enjoy telling everyone all about it & if you don't I'm sure they will.

Toby Young

March 5th, 2008 9:58am Report this comment

I wasn't offended. You probably have a point. In America, there's a joke that goes: How can you tell if someone is a Harvard man? Answer: You don't need to. He'll tell you within five minutes of being introduced.

thalie

March 19th, 2008 11:11pm Report this comment

hum!hum!..."state" primary ? what happened to the "C of E" part of it? ;)

Hon. Won

June 2nd, 2008 10:45pm Report this comment

Aren't you a Harvard man as well? Gee wilikers Hon. Young, why aren't you bragging about that in your columns. It's the best university in the bloody world! (according to the THES)

-- I'm a UCL and Oxford man myself.