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So I’m supposed to take this online persecution on the chin, am I?

27 February 2010

Toby Young suffers from Status Anxiety

Does this constitute cyber-bullying? I’d love to get up on my high horse about this, but the only reason I know about Moran’s bilious rage is because I did a search on my own name on Twitter to find out what people were saying about me. Ego surfing, in other words. Like Googling yourself. Can you accuse someone of bullying if you only hear the wounding remarks by eavesdropping? Surely, to constitute ‘bullying’ the person in question has to say it to your face.

Oddly enough, this issue comes up all the time in schools. A 16-year-old girl will discover what her classmate is saying about her by visiting her Facebook page. She finds herself falsely accused of having slept with somebody else’s boyfriend and her world begins to cave in. She tells her mother in floods of tears and the mother then complains to the head teacher, demanding retribution. What should the head do? Facebook, like Twitter, straddles the public and private realms, being neither one nor the other. When you write something on Facebook or Twitter it isn’t like a private conversation between two people. Rather, it’s like a conversation between you and all your followers. In the case of Caitlan Moran, I was eavesdropping on an exchange between her and 16,508 others. Public or private?

Another complicating factor is that I can’t accuse Moran of orchestrating the hate campaign against me. After all, she doesn’t instruct her followers to retweet her remarks. It’s entirely voluntary — and the reason they repeat them, I suspect, is because they think they’re funny, not because they have any particular animus against me. (I may be flattering myself there.) And, let’s be honest, they are quite funny. This whole experience wouldn’t be so painful if I was being insulted by a bunch of morons.

The disappointing conclusion I’ve come to is that I can’t legitimately claim to be the victim of cyber-bullying. I’ve just been ‘flamed’ on Twitter, in much the same way that Jan Moir was when she wrote her notorious Daily Mail column about Stephen Gately. Perhaps if I was a private individual, like the poor boy who got ‘flamed’ after daring to say Stephen Fry was a bit boring, I might have grounds for complaint. But as a journalist I’ve just got to take it on the chin. So fire away, Miss Moran. And, please, try not to be so funny.

Toby Young is associate editor of The Spectator.

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Comments Post comment

Keith Badham

February 25th, 2010 8:40am Report this comment

I think you do many of us a disservice...The retweets were done because the majority believe your article to be insulting, unintelligent and tawdry. Somehow, I struggle to laugh in the face of such utter drivel. I would usually ignore it, but sadly, you choose to keep bringing it up in an effort to massage your tiny little ego, that is matched in its miniature state by your wit and sparkle.

Still....you carry on laughing in the belief that people are laughing with you...they are not.

All the best

Mr Plug (One of Ms Moran's ReTweeters)

Timothy Browne

February 25th, 2010 8:40am Report this comment

Poor, poor, Toby.

How sad for him. But how lucky that he has his very own magazine to share his angst with us lucky followers.

Mr Young... get over yourself.

Rachel

February 25th, 2010 8:53am Report this comment

Poor Toby, people can be such meanies, can't they?

It's a bit of a shame you consistently spelled Caitlin's name incorrectly though. Looks a bit slapdash, no?

Gordon Rae

February 25th, 2010 8:55am Report this comment

I'm reminded of Oscar Wilde's remark on the death of Little Nell. One must have a heart of stone to read this without laughing.

Honest opinion. You were dreadful on that programme. You deserved to have the mickey taken out of you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Lola

February 25th, 2010 9:02am Report this comment

Ah, the whiff of sour grapes in the morning... could the reason behind this little article be the raging jealousy that Caitlin's words have a far wider and more instantaneous effect than anything you've said?

Sounds pretty probable to me!

Lara

February 25th, 2010 9:10am Report this comment

Gosh, before you launched this diatribe, it might have been an idea to check the spelling of Caitlin Moran's name.

Ludlow Spinks

February 25th, 2010 9:18am Report this comment

Toby, people retweeted that because they do dislike you. You have made a career out of being dislikable - indeed your only notable work had that as its central conceit - so why on earth are you backtracking now? Coward.

Joseph Edwards

February 25th, 2010 9:20am Report this comment

"So I’m supposed to take this online persecution on the chin, am I?"

Yes, dear. Get a grip.

Kat

February 25th, 2010 9:42am Report this comment

Hi Toby,

Flamed on Twitter? Hardly. The reason why these journalists are having their comments retweeted is the same as why most people have their comments RT'd: they've written something in an amusing and witty way.

The fact that they're being amusing and witty about you being a "thundering p****" now is based on the original article you wrote, and the amount of withering disdain that piece elicited. If you'd addressed what you'd written about McQueen in this piece and given that a bit of self-examination rather than just whingeing about getting curled-lipped disapproval from your peers, this would have been a lot less ghastly a read.

For one thing, you would have come across as a grown-up, instead of a writer using the Spectator to stamp their foot and scream "IT'S NOT BLOODY FAIR". Plus ca change...

Best wishes etc, now please behave like an adult. You're nearing 50. If you haven't learned how to shrug off the contempt of your peers yet, then when? That entire "How to lose friends" episode will seem even more embarrassing as it will have taught you absolutely sod all while inflicting a fairly rubbish film on the rest of us.

Kat

Hugh

February 25th, 2010 9:45am Report this comment

Once female Times journalists reach "a certain age" all they have left is being catty.

One of Caitlin Moran's potty mates Emma Kennedy organised a "campaign" against a rather stupid Facebook page earlier in the week which appeared to advocate beating women as though it was a serious incitement to violence. Her followers were retweeting and, no doubt, emailing Facebook to complain in a Moir-esque shit storm though, obviously, no where near as good as the kind Stephen Fry can engender because she hasn't a hope in hell of being anything like as popular.

Unfortunately it appears as though you're about to reap the bitchy whirlwind for daring to even talk about their, frankly, rather nasty streaks. Hell hath no fury, etc.

Perhaps you'd care to take the easy option next time and poke a hornet's nest.

THX1138

February 25th, 2010 9:47am Report this comment

And you can find Toby Young and his 10,191 followers here:

http://twitter.com/Toadmeister

Catlin Moran is much funnier though, she was born to Tweet

http://twitter.com/caitlinmoran

stephen maybery

February 25th, 2010 9:48am Report this comment

Well, I'm on twitter, and that is as far as it goes, no sooner had I signed up than I forgot the password, hardly surprising that as I can not even remember my own phone number, suggest you do the Same Toby, makes life simpler. As for Alexander Macqueen, his work only came to my attention after the man had topped himself, and from what I saw of it, any woman daft enough to wear such rediculous tat deserves to be divorced without a financial settlement.

What is in this day and age that makes rather sad and inadequate people think that their opinions are sacrosanct? but this I fear is a consequence of the prohibition of calling a spade a bloody shovel in this politically correct world of ours. As for Stephen fry, he is self satisfied boring and flatulent, and for the love of god, don't get me started on Germain Greer.

Jake

February 25th, 2010 10:00am Report this comment

So the conclusion is that you're not being bullied and people probably spread messages about you because they think you're a prick.

Tell us something we don't know.

LB

February 25th, 2010 10:21am Report this comment

Probably ought to have spelled her name right... or was that a form of passive-aggressive diss?

Chris Nicholson

February 25th, 2010 10:44am Report this comment

Sorry, Toby, I'm not buying any of this. You're known to dish it out yourself, so you should be able to take it as well.

Before you say I'm an apologist for McQueen or say I'm defending mischievous behaviour on Twitter, I felt at the time that a provocative article or opinion about McQueen was definitely something that could have been written. Sadly, you weren't the fellow who wrote it. Johann Hari, of The Independent, wrote it. I did give a sharp intake of breath when he questioned the plaudits that had been thrown in McQueen's death, barely 24 hours after the man died. Funnily enough, he didn't get a bashing, because his points were articulately, provocatively and intelligently made.

Before you use the argument that Hari wouldn't get the same treatment as you would because he's part of the 'liberal' establishment, you should also remember that AA Gill got a similar roasting on Twitter for his idiotic column on shooting an ape. It wasn't a provocatively written piece, it was just wanting to cause an outcry for controversy's sake.

An outcry, I suspect, you were probably secretly predicting and wanting anyway, so you could have the bare-bones material to write another poorly-constructed article.

Richard Hodgson (@rohaq)

February 25th, 2010 10:50am Report this comment

I don't think anyone can really claim to have been 'cyber-bullied' when people openly (albeit, sometimes rather rudely) disagree with an opinion that is posted in a public forum any more than most celebrities and political figures can claim to have been 'bullied' when the media/public leaps over a public statement that they make.

And if they are rude, just be happy in the fact that your own methods of discussion don't involve such crude methods.

Nicky

February 25th, 2010 10:52am Report this comment

No Toby, we really DO all detest you. You made some waspish comments about someone recently deceased and expected no comeback? Don't play the wounded victim, you just wanted the attention.

Tigger

February 25th, 2010 10:58am Report this comment

Perhaps unlike some people who RTed Caitlin Moran's tweet, I actually saw you on Newsnight Review.

To my mind, you deserve much more trenchant criticism than Moran's one-liners but - as you say - they are quite funny, so when I spotted one of them the following morning, I copied it.

You're dead right. You should stop whinging. That, or stop going on TV and making a complete arse of yourself.

Alexander

February 25th, 2010 11:55am Report this comment

Get over it man. No one likes a grass. I bet you got beaten up loads at school.

Emma

February 25th, 2010 12:01pm Report this comment

I feel your pain, i get cyber paranoid and if i do something wrong i end up checking twitter/facebook everything just to check i'm not being outed as a complete horrible person. Its like a circling shark, you know its there but you just can't see it yet and you wonder when it's going to rear its ugly head and bite your bum. If i did ever see anything about myself or my company i know i'd go all mental.

I think it's similar to checking a wayward boyfriends mobile phone ... don't look if you cant handle what you might find.

Rav

February 25th, 2010 1:04pm Report this comment

In fairness, Toby, you *are* a c***.

Old Hack

February 25th, 2010 1:37pm Report this comment

Moran is right though isn't she? You know she is. You have made a career out of being that which she accused you.

mundane

February 25th, 2010 2:34pm Report this comment

Fabulous - as of 25/2, Mr Toby's complaining has made "Miss Moran" up the ante, as she and Giles Coren develop a conversation that brings the not-very-nice image regarding a new use for Mr Toby's billiard-ball noggin. Quite while you're, erm, ahead and stop whining - go open a school that only caters to Capricorns or something ...

Dex Dexter

February 25th, 2010 2:52pm Report this comment

Solution: try to stop being so much of a c*** all the time.

Johnny Dunn

February 25th, 2010 4:42pm Report this comment

Great article! I only knew about it because Caitlin Moran Tweeted a link to it. Thanks Caitlin!

Douglas

February 25th, 2010 7:32pm Report this comment

You should indeed probably take it on the chin, and stop writing boring columns about it.

John Richardson

February 25th, 2010 9:30pm Report this comment

Hmmmum.

Criticise Stephen Gately after his sordid drugs death ?
Receive the unbridled hatred of.....

Criticise Stephen Fry ?
You are attacked, apparently, by....

Suggest that a nobody was actually NOT a genius, after he has killed himself ?
Wonder, like the normal country, why he is on the front page ?
Well, see above.

Could there be a connection ?
Something that binds these together ?
Not if the above is any guide, eh Toby ?

Mr Toby Young,
Brave of you not to make any 'offensive' suggestions you
Main Stream Media
person you.
What ambition!
Fancy a job with Cameron's Conservatives ?
You say the above are 'not morons'.
You say they are 'so funny'.
You've got what it takes.

JOHN RICHARDSON.

Barry Etheridge

February 26th, 2010 5:14pm Report this comment

How sad that people who comment here are so ready to confirm the utter destruction of any kind of rational debate in this allegedly Enlightened day and age! As if there were not already nails in its coffin, Twitter came along with a stake to drive through its heart with a bloody great mallet just to ensure that any hope of recovery was finally eliminated.

What poses as debate now is this personality cult that beatifies 'experts' beyond the wildest imagination. Here's news for all (apparently)! Germaine Greer is a fallible human being who can be wrong. Dead gay people are no different to dead heterosexual people and no dead person becomes instantly better than they were in life just for having the misfortune to slip off this mortal coil (especially suicides).

I mean, do people even hear themselves any more? Are we really expected to believe that someone who runs his own company into millions of pounds worth of debt and kills himself leaving everyone left to clear up the mess is or ever was a 'genius'? And even if we did accept that preposterous notion, are we supposed to enshrine geniuses in some special kind of Hall of Fame that forbids criticism of them even when they're in the wrong?

There is no such thing as a flawless human being whatever their Twitter star rating! Toby Young, Germaine Greer, Stephen Fry, Alexander McQueen and every true 'genius' that ever existed all share the same human fallibility. No matter how 'attractive' or 'ugly' they may appear to be they are neither always wrong nor always right and I'm sure that they are perfectly aware of the fact even though their 'followers' are not!

When the 'halo effect' and its antithesis, 'demonisation', have utterly replaced thought, argument and critique we are in severe danger of drowning in our own stupidity. The sad thing, as so many of the comments here and certainly on Twitter illustrate, not only are not that many people bothered by our descent into Hell in a handcart, but most rejoice in it!

Noa Zrk

February 28th, 2010 12:28pm Report this comment

As they say Toby, there's no such thing as bad publicity and I at least, and for what it's worth, have now heard of you.
What's more I even agree with you about the grossly over-hyped abilities of the dead Mqueen of fashion.
As they say on the streets of Stockport,lad, a million brainless bimbos mourn, their leader being the effervescently tasteless Catspaw Moron.
Develop some spine, man! Drink deeply at the journalist's holy pool of vitriol! If she flames you, napalm her!
Good luck with your new column in The Lady.

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