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9 August 2008

The view from 2018: how it all went wrong for Prime Minister Osborne

Of course there were scandals. The Johnson resignations, the defection of David Davis to Ukip, the questions raised, perhaps unfairly, over the way that Caroline Spelman was able to buy that house. It was water off a duck’s back at first. Then they grew overconfident, and then they grew lazy. Cameron put on a stone. Parliamentary candidates were allowed to use the word ‘black’ in interviews without being sacked. Michael Gove started wearing his glasses again. The Treasury briefed one way, Downing Street briefed the other. Theresa May appeared in a shoe commercial, Cameron put on another stone, and things started to go wrong.

Out of nowhere, the government was suddenly split over the inconsequential issue of whether Britain should one day join the rouble. There were still failing schools, there were still failing hospitals. Impatient and bored, the Tories began to clamour for change. They wanted a real Tory, a thinner Tory, perhaps from only the fifth or sixth poshest school in the land rather than the first. In time, Cameron slipped away; a grand-standing, tear-jerking performance at the party conference, followed by an American lecture tour. By the time he started his improbable new job as the United Nation’s peace envoy to war-torn Belgium, Osborne was already in trouble.

And such trouble. Some dubbed him the worst Prime Minister in history. Every by-election was a disaster. Ken Livingstone became the Mayor of London again. Others, the young Turks, began to plot. And, as the polls plunged to unprecedented levels, the media screamed, and the resurgent, fragrant Labour party talked a lot of sense, many declared the Conservative party to be finished for ever, like the Whigs. Some protested that it was all cyclical and nothing new, but nobody listened to them. They listened to the exciting ones, the doomsayers, who were certain, this time, that it was real.

I struggle, come 2018, to think of a suitable Conservative equivalent to John Prescott, who has waded into things so supportively this week by likening Gordon Brown to the captain of the Titanic. Will the Tories have anybody of his stature even ten years from now? I doubt it.

One of my favourite facts about Prescott (and I have many) is that the former sailor was born on the same date that the Titanic was launched (31 May), albeit 27 years later. Call me self-indulgent, but I couldn’t stand the thought of this brief fuss passing by without anybody pointing it out.

Hugo Rifkind is a writer for the Times.

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Comments Post comment

Colin

August 7th, 2008 9:21pm Report this comment

I liked the bit about Tony at the Hague.

Matt

August 7th, 2008 9:27pm Report this comment

"Hugo Rifkind is a writer for the Times"

He is also nowhere near as good as writer as he seems to think.

As in: "ho, ho, ho! Aren't I so witty?"

Answer as in: "No. For surely NOBODY could be as witty as Hugo Rifkind seems to Hugo Rifkind seems to believe he is!"

paul hill

August 7th, 2008 10:02pm Report this comment

Worth it just for Gove wearing his specs again

Richard

August 8th, 2008 8:35am Report this comment

"...many declared the Conservative party to be finished for ever, like the Whigs. Some protested that it was all cyclical and nothing new, but nobody listened to them. They listened to the exciting ones, the doomsayers, who were certain, this time, that it was real."

Did the Tories have debts of £20 million?

Praguetory

August 8th, 2008 9:48am Report this comment

This could have been a funny, incisve article.

Liz Brown

August 8th, 2008 12:05pm Report this comment

Yawn..........

John Gleeson

August 8th, 2008 12:06pm Report this comment

It's not clear to which Osborne you are referring. Is it Sharon ?

Artboy

August 8th, 2008 1:06pm Report this comment

The actual certainties of the future are that the world will be hotter, holland will be under water and there will be a lot more people moving everywhere

Stuart Perry

August 8th, 2008 2:28pm Report this comment

Hugo Rifkind`s article is puerile to the extreme - it is not even funny. Let`s try and move up an intellectual gear.

Dick the Prick

August 8th, 2008 3:49pm Report this comment

Had to stop when mentioned the Kelly years - I like a good yarn as much as the next man - but that's just ludicrous.

Kpar

August 9th, 2008 12:31am Report this comment

Hi, Gleeson

I was trying to figure out myself which Osbourne, Ozzie or Sharon...

Kpar, USA

P.S. Anybody willing to hazard a guess about the Israeli's willingness to strike Iran? Seems to me 5 years of diplomacy haven't exactly produced much...

Kpar, USA

August 9th, 2008 12:34am Report this comment

Artboy,

Keep on believing what they've been telling you- I've got some beachfront property in the Adirondacks you might be interested in...

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