Dear Mary

21 February 2009

Your problems solved

Q. I was brought up in South Africa and did graduate studies in the US. When I moved to London in the mid-1970s I encountered ‘put downs’ at dinner parties when I mispronounced aristocratic English surnames which I had only seen written. I had some exposure to them in South Africa but obviously not enough. (It was rather like the ‘snooty’ reaction I got when I called Albany ‘The Albany’ — as does Wilde in Importance... — but as I actually lived there from 1976 to 1981 I ignored the criticism.) A clever reply would have been very useful but I did not have one. Now I am living in Australia I wonder if you have any ideas which I can pass on to Australian friends who find themselves in a similar situation when visiting England?

D.A., Noosa, Australia

A. Snobbery over English name pronunciation is currently on the decline. Earl Spencer himself is often heard to mispronounce Althorp as spelt rather than the correct Althrup. Meanwhile, members of the Cecil family unflinchingly respond to Cecil as spelt when the correct pronunciation is Sissil. Even so, your Australian friends may still find themselves mocked when they make these inevitable gaffes. To give scale to the problem, Debrett’s Correct Form (£17.99) lists eight full pages of booby-trap name pronunciations. Should mockery occur, a chippy response is inappropriate. Instead, delight should be feigned as they beg for further examples of these quaint English perversities.

Q. One of my best friends took up writing poetry three years ago. Day in, day out, new poems come winging to me by email across the Atlantic. She says writing poetry is now her life’s work but insists she cannot do it without my comments on — and approval of — each and every poem ‘hot off the press’. While thrilled she has found a new vocation, I am tired of wading through so many almost impenetrable verses and having to come up with something intelligent to say about each. Her rate of production seems to be increasing — in the past three weeks alone, 25 new poems! I fear for my sanity. How can I stop this ceaseless flow without causing the gravest offence? Full credit to her, her first Collected Poems was professionally published some months ago in the US. The dedication, most touchingly put, was to me.

Name and address withheld

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arky

February 19th, 2009 1:00pm Report this comment

May I pass on a tip to the person with the credit card bill of £5,000 at 29.9% interest? The cardholder should try directly negotiating with the bank to see if the interest rate can be reduced. Instructions are available at: http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/cc/20020415a.asp

Failing that, the borrower should try Zopa.com for a loan at 10%, instead of bothering friends; the site is a matchmaking service for loaners and borrowers.

justin kent

February 20th, 2009 10:17pm Report this comment

god, what an idiot this pretentious snob is...surely mary you can see this is pure self-aggrandizement...each reference to self worse than the next (US gratuate school, albany, wanting to help australians meeting titled folk...)is this what your column is for?