Dear Mary
9 May 2009
Your problems solved
Q. I have a friend who, although by his own admission is badly behaved and old enough to know better, generally considers himself to know correct form. He does, however, have butter between his biscuit and his cheese. I have always been led to believe that this is non-U. I am not perfect, Mary, and have been known to smoke my pipe in the bath. Which do you consider to be the most heinous faux-pas?
A.J.W., Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
A. Neither falls quite into the category of faux-pas. Pipe-smoking, however, probably causes the greater social offence, to those inclined to take it, as it involves exposing others to fumes, fire risks and even, through passive inhalation, to health risks. There was a time when butter with cheese would have been considered a coup de gross (sic), but in today’s nanny state it is quite refreshing to see someone cocking a snook at health and safety by eating two doses of cholesterol at the same time. Indeed the gesture could even be seen as admirable.
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