High Life

23 May 2009

Celebrity worship

Finally, to my good friend Pacman Jones — I’ve never met the slob — a star American football player, whom the lowlife reality TV programmers are enriching because of his bad-boy reputation. Jones specialises in spitting in women’s faces. He does it everywhere, mostly in nightclubs. He also instigates fights, an easy thing to do when surrounded by bodyguards paid for by the Dallas Cowboys. While in Las Vegas, he grabbed a stripper by the hair, slammed her head against the stage, when gun shots were fired. Three people were shot by Jones’s party. The night manager has been paralysed from the waist down since. This is the man that Spike TV is offering a fortune in order to pump up their advertising rates. Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones. Just perfect. If Joey Barton feels aggrieved in being left out, all he has to do is beat up a woman up there in Newcastle, and the offers will pour in.

So, it’s been grand, as they say, and don’t forget that they also say that happy people have neither age nor memory as they have no need of the past. Which goes to show that ‘they’ know very little. I’ve never felt happier than when thinking of the past.

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David Watkins

May 21st, 2009 12:45pm Report this comment

>The greatest fighting unit ever — and I include the Spartans, and the US Marines — was Rommel’s 25th Panzer Regiment of the 7th Panzer Division.

How can anybody make such a claim, when the history of warfare goes back over four milennia? What about the Boers commanded by De Wett, the Confederates commanded by Bedford, the Scots commanded by Wallace, numerous Saracen forces in the century after the birth of Islam, etc etc. Especially how can you? Have you devoted your life to the study of military history? Obviously not - you've been far to busy partying, engaging in obscure sports and managing your family's money. (Moreover you've never been a fighting soldier - at most you've beem a war tourist, like your hero Hemingway). So stop making a fool of yourself, please!

Richard Gill

May 22nd, 2009 12:45pm Report this comment

All I ask of w*nk*ers is that they do it in private; and of regulatory bodies that they make sure this happens, or else...

GK

May 26th, 2009 6:43pm Report this comment

I don't know about the US marines
but the rest mentioned by the columnist were pretty good fighting soldiers who fought against desperately overwhelming
circumstances, inflicting big casualties to the enemy, under obliterating american bombing(Normandy). The Scotts under Wallace looked more like wilds than soldiers and the Saracens were checked by the Byzantines, like the emperor Nicephoros II Phocas the White Death of Saracens, for far too long.

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