High Life

13 June 2009

Under pressure

Monday morning’s 20-knot breeze and calm sea were perfect for racing. On Bushido we dressed for the race. White trousers, Pug’s Club neckties and blue blazers. Debonnaire Bismarck, Chantal Hanover and the mother of my children chose long white linen Indian tunics. But Tiger Lily caught both Alexa and Bushido off-guard, racing off on an upwind beat, never challenged as she completed the windward leeward course in a record-setting two hours. The drama took place between Alexa and Bushido. Tim Hoare, an egregious gambler, steered a ragged path, veering dangerously off-course over rocks. What we didn’t know is that he had a retractable keel, passing Bushido on the last leg in a move not attempted since the days of Columbus. Thus ended the first Pug’s regatta, the beautiful silver trophy of two pugs awarded to Roger Taylor, followed by an extremely drunken lunch which finished at nine in the evening. Strains of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ could be heard throughout the night as thousands of Ibizans danced and celebrated.

Having announced that I would commit seppuku in case of defeat — ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit over the top, sir?’ said Captain Paul — I took refuge in the bottle, drinking maniacally until I passed out. Bushido was brave but bad upwind. My crew, starting with Andrew, Nick, Carmella and Ruth, were overconfident, having assured me of victory time and again, and insisting we would win even as we came in third and last. One thing has to be said. Tiger Lily is among the fastest schooners around, and Tim Hoare’s seamanship a danger to all. But luck favours the brave, and the location for the defence of the cup now lies with Roger Taylor. If he chooses the Greek islands, Poseidon might throw me a crumb. I badly need it. I am getting sick and tired of coming in third.

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GK

June 11th, 2009 3:33pm Report this comment

Adolf was unable to buy the boat
because I don't think he was that rich although Mine Kaumf made him a rich man(a lecturer I
met believed that you don't make money out of writing books, he meant academic books of course).

Simon Ottleton

June 11th, 2009 5:21pm Report this comment

Isn't it about time that Geldof, rather than lecturing the great unwashed about how they should manage their lives and their money, ceased his playboy activities and got on with the purpose for which he was knighted! If only the rest of the world knew...oh and the sinking of the Bismark cowardly???

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