Dear Mary

20 June 2009

Your problems solved

A. Please be sure to separate what is correct from what is born of vengeance. Social tit for tats never work. You must do unto this man what you wish had been done unto you and invite him to your birthday. Once fully exposed to you, in the hopefully flattering context of your milieu, he may begin to see the point of you. Who knows — you may be the star guest at his 71st birthday.

Q. My gallery is hosting a show entitled ‘Of Goats & Kings and Other Such Things’ which is opening on the 17 June. The artist is His Highness Maharaja Ranjit Singh Gaekwad of Baroda and I would like to know what to call him and his wife when presenting them to the guests I am expecting for the opening. The whole name is quite a mouthful and I am sure that full correct titles and pomposity would not be required when introducing someone who is, temporarily, in the persona of artist. How can I do this lightly without showing any sense of disrespect?

Indar Pasricha, London W2

A. In order to be less formal, why not jovially introduce their Highnesses as ‘the twenty-one-ers’? Baroda, as one of the five most important Indian states, was entitled to a 21-gun salute from the imperial power in London. Explaining this will impress your guests at the same time as putting them at their ease. Meanwhile you will have shown no lapse of respect.