‘The gammon’s off.’

Gammon

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Apparently it’s Peak Corbyn.’

Marxist

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘OMG, we’re rich!’

We’re rich!

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘I liked the way she didn’t hug me.’

Wax work

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘I’m sorry kids. I don’t know how to build a meaningful Brexit.’

Lego

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘There’s always the Swiss option.’

Swiss option

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Look mum — Kim Kardashian!’

Kim

19 May 2018 9:00 am

A&E

19 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Oh no! Hard boarders!’

Encounter

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘It might look weird, but the kids can’t keep their eyes off me.’

Eyes

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘I’m getting smoky tones...’

Wine

12 May 2018 9:00 am

BBC ratings

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘In future, try not to leave your porridge unattended.’

The three bears

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘My millennial sexbot wants to remain celibate.’

Sexbot

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘You’ll find yourself splitting a long journey.’

Rail Fares

12 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Don’t wake him up. Sleepwalking is the only exercise he gets.’

Sleepwalking

5 May 2018 9:00 am

Rapunzel has a bad hair day

Bad hair

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘It’s not punk, it’s plastic pollution.’

Mermaid

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘It’s safer than putting it in TSB.’

TSB

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘I’m into identity politics.’

Me

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘There have been a lot of complaints about you… I need to promote you out of harm’s way.’

Office

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘That? Oh, I’m trying to tap into the younger generation.’

Pub

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Rather warm for May.’

May

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘Spare me the lecture, Rodney.’

Lecture

5 May 2018 9:00 am

‘I thought we’d blame Brexit for this bit...’

Chart

5 May 2018 9:00 am