Saturday 17 May 2008

Spectator 180th Anniversary Blog
 

The latest culture as recommended by our staff

Peter Hoskin

Pete suggests


Nightmare in casualty

Tuesday, 18th March 2008

Jeremy Clarke on his Low Life

Your email address:   
Friend's email address:   
   

It’s half-past four in the morning and I’ve been sitting in the casualty department since two. I’m alone in the waiting room. Behind the glass partition two receptionists, one male, one female, are playing a video game on one of the computer screens.  Earlier, when I was on the verge of losing it because we’d had so long to wait, the bloke said, ‘Sir, I can understand that you don’t want to be here,’ as if he’s been taught to say it to defuse people’s anger. Then the woman had backed him up by saying that if I went and sat down for her, she’d bring me a cup of coffee.

But I’m calmer now. The place is a tip, newspaper and blankets and empty vending-machine cups everywhere, and half of the seats have been mutilated. But among the debris I’ve found a booklet of ten poems by Ted Hughes, introduction by Jeanette Winterson, given away free with one of the Sundays. Apart from Shakespeare and the Bible, there’s nothing I can think of that I’d rather read right at this moment to put things into perspective. The flimsy booklet roots me to the spot.

Another casualty hobbles in. He reports to the receptionists — I can’t hear what he’s saying — then he comes limping over and after some deliberation chooses a seat facing mine. He’s wearing fluffy slippers without socks and his ankle is swollen. ‘What happened?’ I ask him.

He removes a slipper to show me the extent of the swelling. ‘I stood up without realising that my foot had gone to sleep and went over on my ankle,’ he says. His leg is very white but the foot is black, purple and green. He answers the phone for a taxi firm for a living, he says, showing me the company logo on his tie with unaffected pride. But business was so quiet this morning that he decided to slip away and have his foot looked at. ‘What about you?’ he says.

I tell him that my boy has slashed his wrists, though not in a life-threatening way, and that he’s out being seen by a doctor. He’d sawn into his wrist and arms with a vegetable knife after downing eight cans of lager and half a bottle of port left over from Christmas. Then he’d rung me up to tell me. His wrists and forearms looked a mess, but when I’d cleaned them up a bit, it was clear that it hadn’t been a serious attempt to take his own life. Either that or he’s left school at 16 with so little knowledge that he doesn’t even know how to top himself

‘Blimey,’ says the taxi man, and he makes a good job of looking concerned. ‘Any idea why?’ ‘He was drunk, that’s all,’ I say. This is a bit harsh, I know, but I’m angry. What about, I’m not quite sure. Sensing my lack of sympathy, the taxi man shrugs and says, ‘Drunk or sober, you’ve got to be feeling pretty unhappy about something to cut your own wrists.’

More articles from: Jeremy Clarke | this section

Subscribe now

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Comments

Post a comment


Your comment:*

Your name:*

Your email address:*
(We won't publish this)

*Required information

Please click the button only once - your comment will not be published immediately

In this section

Say a little prayer

Alex James

Alex James leads a Slow Life

Time for one more

Jeremy Clarke

Jeremy Clarke on his Low Life

The lives of others

Taki

Taki lives the High Life

The Turf

Robin Oakley

Horizontal racing

Dear Mary

Mary Killen

Your problems solved


Related articles

Cameron gets ready for No. 10 — and Boris must wait his turn

Fraser Nelson

David Cameron talks to Fraser Nelson about his local election triumphs, admits that he is not going to ‘agree on everything’ with the new Mayor of London, and says Boris should join the queue to become PM after him

Sugar rush

Marcus Berkmann

Marcus Berkmann buys a Take That album

Shared Opinion

Hugo Rifkind

If it's good that Harry was fighting the Taleban, why are we queasy when Israel fights Hamas?

If God proved he existed, I still wouldn’t believe in him

Martin Rowson

Martin Rowson just doesn’t buy the ideology that comes with God. Even a personal appearance by the Almighty wouldn’t do the trick, he says

Charlie does surf. Meet the new wizard of the web

Matthew d'Ancona

Charles Leadbeater tells Matthew d’Ancona about the riches to be mined from online collaboration — and says that the Conservatives have a chance to launch a new form of politics

Spectator recommends

Test Drive a Land Rover

Great choice of versatile vehicles for the drive of your life..


Spectator classifieds

UMBRIA

UMBRIA, Niccone Valley.Farmhouse Rental. Newly renovated 400 year old farmhouse, high on the south facing slope of Niccone Valley, on

Cornwall.

AMAZING CORNISH HOUSE previously featured in Vogue Living, available to let during the last 3 weeks of August either on a

City Breaks: PARIS and ROME

PARIS and ROME: over 350 holiday rentals apartments listed: visit www.parisreference.com and www.romanreference.com or call +39 0648 903612.