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How I became Bulgaria’s etiquette guru

26 November 2008
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Dylan Jones is astonished to find in Sofia that the former communist country has embraced his guide to the mores of modern life — and that not everybody looks like Borat

To Sofia, then, on a ten-seater NetJet Falcon from Farnborough, accompanied by Bryan Ferry and a small coterie of GQ apparatchiks, including the best-dressed man in Shepherd’s Bush, Nick Foulkes.

Some of my friends are big in Japan, some of them are big in America and some of the larger ones are big all over the world. Me, I’m big in Bulgaria. Not as big as government corruption or the drug cartels, but big enough to warrant a mention on the early evening news (bumping Prince Charles’s 60th birthday celebrations into second place, I kid you not).

A few years ago I wrote a moderately successful etiquette book — Mr Jones’ Rules — which kicked up some dust but which didn’t exactly cause Jeremy Clarkson to look over his shoulder (although he did supply a puff for the jacket). In the emerging markets, though, it has gone gangbusters, and there are now editions in Russia, China, Poland, Hungary, Korea and Romania as well as in Greece and the United States. However it is in Bulgaria that I am really big, and this has caused me some reflection.

I was being flown by private jet to Sofia for the launch of the book, at a party at the Kempinski Hotel, where Bryan Ferry was due to play his flat-pack Roxy Music show. Tickets for the event were changing hands for E250 on the secondary (‘black’) market, and for a while I seriously thought about selling my own. There was a TV crew on board the plane who interviewed Bryan and me for the following morning’s Bulgarian equivalent of BBC Breakfast, and who kept asking pointed questions about Gordon Brown’s ability to manage the economy (‘He can’t,’ I said, to their obvious delight).

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Comments Post comment

ian skidmore

November 28th, 2008 10:56am Report this comment

I am not sure that a man who is so rude about his hosts is quit the right person to advise them on etiquette. But it was awfully kind of you to give such a puff
to him. I take it he is related?

Biliana Rousseva

November 29th, 2008 12:35pm Report this comment

High-end humour, Dylan.
No Borat-like bros, pal.
Thank you for the good laugh. :-)

Biliana Rousseva

November 29th, 2008 12:41pm Report this comment

High-end humour, Dylan.
Thank you for the good laugh.

@ian skidmore: *handshake*, pal.

Matt

November 29th, 2008 1:58pm Report this comment

It would be all the more humorous if it wasn't actually true.

Alex Nikolov

November 29th, 2008 4:08pm Report this comment

Your illusions of your book's big success in emerging markets are endearing. Your book is virtually nothing..in any market! Nobody reads style guides if they are not bite sized and in a men's magazine. Even less so in Bulgaria.

This is what actually happened: your book was the first of its kind in Bulgarian and it generated some interest, albeit low.

You are some British dude from a big shiny magazine - hence, you are a big star in Bulgaria. For one night. Nobody remembers your name afterwords. You remain the British magazine dude somebody through a party for. And your book..wait, what book?

There is something else which is endearing - the fact that you have dedicated your life to 'style'. I feel sorry for a person whose values system must be terribly skewed. Any style book can only be a cathedral of the fake. Its readers - worshipers who need to be told the exact form of fake they need.

All else put aside, Bulgaria is corrupt, and its media are laughable. And there are deep problems with Bulgarian cultural developments over the last 20 years. Deeper than you understand. I don't expect more from a writer of style guides, however.

Biliana Rousseva

November 29th, 2008 5:12pm Report this comment

Matt, mind Ian`s posting.
Unfortunately, is very much true. But such truth cannot serve as an excuse for someone`s demagogy.
In any case... yes, Ego Magazine`s owner is a great guy organizing such a party. And then, it`s too cheap drinking and having fun in Bulgaria too.

Dima Peteva

November 29th, 2008 6:29pm Report this comment

So much for good manners, then.

georgi

November 29th, 2008 6:42pm Report this comment

Mr. Jones,

Indeed, our Bulgarian culture is at that level, and point in time, that most of us (but not all of us) still admire English people like you..

As charming as your comparison of Sofia to Birmingham is, I don't think Birmingham would be referred to as "UK's ugliest city", if its central part looked a bit more like Sofia's. (I have lived in Brum for a year).

Aaand, the Borat card wore out a long time ago, so double check when playing it, the joke might be on you..

Kielan

December 1st, 2008 10:56am Report this comment

Miserable idiot! If you have eyes only for the ugly things in Bulgaria, it is your own problem really. I heard that many visitors of Paris notice only the dog shits on the street. And to be honest, what makes one place depressing is the bloody weather, and more depressing weather than the English - there is nowhere else in Europe! That's why British drink till insanity! And you, silly Bulgarians, this is not an high class English humour, this is some bitterness and hostility you should recognise, stop admiring the one who is spitting in your face, open your eyes.

Bulgarian from Sofia

December 1st, 2008 12:20pm Report this comment

Dear Bulgarians, English, etc.
Mr. Jones was guest of the BG mafia. His host Spas Rusev is a former driver in the State Agency for Foreign Aid, who started to collect his money from stolen foreign aid for miserable bulgarians 15 years ago. Recently he is well known as go-between person in coruption deals with government. This is something that Mr. Jones could understand very fast using google search.
So now he could say: How I became Bulgaria's Mafia Guru...Congratulations!

Sue

December 1st, 2008 2:29pm Report this comment

Mr. Jones,
You are incredible dull person. I am currently living in Sofia and can't remember any informationa about you mass media appearance here. Plus, who told you that BG was the most miserable place in Europe to live in during 70's and 80's? I have live memories from the 80's, and believe me - there were more restaurants and pubs than in UK, especially in Birmingham at that time. By the way, after spending 2 yars in UK I lost my habits to go to pubs. Your pubs are more than terrible.

Roman Emperor Vespasian

December 1st, 2008 2:43pm Report this comment

Pecunia non olet (From Latin "money does not smell")

dylan jones so cool...

December 1st, 2008 3:43pm Report this comment

Watch this video from Bruno, one of Borat's cousins... It exposes the high sophistication of shady characters like our Dr. Jones here...both hilarious and sad:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2lKq794fII&feature=related

Amedea

December 2nd, 2008 11:48am Report this comment

OK. Most of the the comments are negative and obviously come from BG. I am Bulgarian and my comment is positive: elegant humour and very accurate and true observations about the people who the author met in Sofia. Yes, he was a guest to the mafia but so his contemptuous estimations are even more valuable and more offensive (even if he does not know it and I believe the case is such). One proof for this are the vulgar and dull comments in the site where I first read the material in Bulgarian. Even the officers from the EU that stopped the money from the EU funds did not receive such malicious comments. Obviously the target was hit!
By the way to bring here Brian Ferry (a favourite musician of mine) for people who listen mainly "chalga"(local vulgar music) is the same as to give to a pig Lindt chocolate.

the vice-count

December 3rd, 2008 2:05pm Report this comment

the man with no right pedigree to pretend to be arbitre d'elegance...hahahah-a r b i t r a i r e !
a fortiori,I am not agree with style definions of this man and gentile men's quarterly.

the bulgarian Proustian writer Lyubomir Milchev is much contemplative ,panache and exciting.

Roberta Balin

January 23rd, 2009 5:01pm Report this comment

Mr Jones,

You can never, ever have a royal accent! Especially not in Sofia! We Bulgarians are certainly more cultured than you think. The condescending tone of your article is really insulting.

muiiio

July 28th, 2009 10:56am Report this comment

Why does everyone get so offended? The author spent his time in Bulgaria surrounded by the nouveau riche - his experience and impressions could, by no means, have been any different! These are the people who "import culture" by means of "style", just as Mr. Jones implies. How many of you, who live in Bulgaria, have NOT seen the big black or white "lifestyle vehicles" of the "high class"? The thick-necks and their inflatable dolls? What matters in this shiny little corner of Bulgarian society is price, not value. Looks over substance.
What I disagree with is reducing all that is Bulgaria to this image. However, seeing as this is obviously a satirical piece, I find it more than acceptable. A hefty helping of rough humor.

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