Home > Essays > All

Sunday 8 November 2009

Jobs at Telegraph

Boris Johnson Beijing Notebook

30 August 2008

Boris Johnson recalls his recent jaunt to China on the occasion of the Olympic games

Before you accuse me of making silly British puns, I would remind you that Geoffrey Howe is said to have greeted Brezhnev with the words ‘How are you?’, to which the Russian brilliantly riposted, ‘No, no, you are Howe!’

There are some superstars who turn out to be horrors, and there are some who turn out to be as nice, thoughtful, well-balanced, good-humoured and modest as their publicists claim. Such a man is David Beckham. His arms may be as tattooed as a Yakuza gangster, but all the Olympic wallahs say he showed real diplomatic skill in helping to win London the Games. I notice that there has been a certain amount of critical belly-aching about London’s eight-minute ‘segment’ during the closing ceremony, the business with the bus and the umbrella dancers. The criticism is all rot of course (how would YOU represent London in eight minutes?) and anyway, I tell you this: those Chinese absolutely loved it when Beckham kicked the ball.

Ever since I was a child I have believed that the only man-made structures visible from space are the Belgian motorway system and the Great Wall of China. Alas, this turns out to be balls. To see the Great Wall of China from the Moon you would have to be able to discern a human hair from two miles away. It’s big, the Great Wall, but not that big. I am afraid the myth was invented in 1754 by the English antiquary William Stukeley. No scientists now accept the claim, though the ever-obliging China Daily still claims it’s possible if you know where to look.

I have come away from China a convinced Sinophile, and determined to return and drive around for a family holiday. Of course there are things that we find tragic and reprehensible about the Chinese system. There are abuses of human rights; there is the hideous practice of re-education through labour. The whole place is a vast and withering rebuke to those who thought, in 1989, that the triumph of capitalism must be accompanied by democratic pluralism. I am certainly not suggesting that we should stifle our criticism. But won’t that criticism be more effective if it is better informed? That means going there, like my brother, and learning the language.

And by the way, I recommend going there in the luxury of British Airways World Traveller Class. Forget Business Class. Forget First Class. You’ll get just as much sleep in the back of the plane, and you’ll save yourself — or the taxpayer — a fortune.

More articles from: Boris Johnson | this section

Post this entry to:   del.icio.us | Digg | Newsvine | NowPublic | Reddit

Comments Post comment

Mrs.Josephine Hyde-Hartley

August 29th, 2008 2:30am Report this comment

Quite so. In my view there could be nothing more disrespectful than being brow-beaten into "buttoning it" unnecessarily and/or inappropriately. However, the practice of openness, transparency and individual freedom needs to be tempered by a certain measure of discretion, according to whatever the situation is, in my opinion. This would be in the interests of reducing burdens all round. Thus said; there's nothing wrong with being naughty in the right sort of context.

Roy

August 29th, 2008 5:18am Report this comment

You were great; a good performance Boris,except; for that grinning oaf on your right and some others in the near vicinity? They looked half stoked, silly as weasels, and spoilt the act.

William

August 29th, 2008 7:32am Report this comment

Well said Boris! You're a star.

Ivan

August 29th, 2008 8:36am Report this comment

Boris, if you're still around in 2012, I'd be surprised if the Olympics goes without a hitch.

Did the people of London vote you for your witty humour or your ability to govern?

Your un-statesmanlike behaviour in Beijing was an utter embarrassment.

Eton scholar? *disbelief*

lee Yu lee

August 29th, 2008 9:57am Report this comment

Hey,Mayor Johnson,I'm from Shanghai China.my family wacthed TV.We all thought it doesn't matter,only we thought was that you're very lovely.Actually we're fans of u since then :)

ge yu

August 29th, 2008 4:38pm Report this comment

Mayor Johnson,renshi ni hen gaoxing

Charlie

August 29th, 2008 11:29pm Report this comment

Hey, Boris, you certainly did not behave like a statesman that evening. And your criticism about the "the hideous practice of re-education through labour" is at least 30 years too late. Finally, you owe a great deal to the Sinophobic propoganda of some Western media for your complacent sleep in the back of your British Airways plane. The president of British Airways should take you to dinner for this ad you've made for them.

Joe Camel

August 30th, 2008 12:53am Report this comment

Whatever your excuses, you still made yourself look like a goof. Rogge and the mayor of Peking had clearly been paying attention at the rehearsals and you hadn't (or had missed them altogether). Didn't you have some kind of sidekick (or PA, or minder) to tell you, "First you shake hands with X and then with Y", and how to hold the flag properly and all the rest of it?

jude

August 30th, 2008 3:16am Report this comment

Hi Mr. Johnson,

Don't worry, as a Chinese, I saw a very care-free friendly man in the screen . I didn't realize that you have unbuttoned your jacket until reading the comment from your people.

I respect your own choice & I think you absolutely have right to express yourself freely. Because it reflects your real personality. However, how about your own people, you are representing them, do they think as the same way???

At last, I agree your point very much that, to hold a good opening & closing ceremony don't mean to use tons of money. Yes, it is all about our creativity & passion.

Since I believe human are keeping progress, I trust that London Olympia can be even more successful than the Beijing one.

Neman

August 30th, 2008 5:48am Report this comment

Mayor Johnson, If unbuttoning, in any mysterious way, links to the "policy of openness, transparency and individual freedom"; How about unzipping the trousers? Shouldn't it represent more "openness", more "transparency" and more "individual freedom"?

Carmen

August 30th, 2008 7:16am Report this comment

i agree with the fourth floor"Ivan"--something in China i can't explain and u havn't understand, and i dislike ur tones.I hope i would watch a better show in 2012.

A chinese

August 30th, 2008 7:37am Report this comment

Ah,you are so polit and so smart,didn't you??No one but you is right?

A chinese

August 30th, 2008 7:38am Report this comment

Ah,you are so polit and so smart,didn't you??No one but you is right!

Chinese

August 30th, 2008 9:16am Report this comment

At that time,I just feel that you are very happy!

A Chinese in UK

August 30th, 2008 10:42am Report this comment

As a Chinese been living in UK for 10 years, one thing I learnt from this country is that media and people here just like critising anything they see. So why are you so worried about 'unbuttoning' at all?!

Secondly, just for your information, in fact, most Chinese audience liked your performance on that night, they thought you were friendly and cared nothing about your 'unbuttoning'.

So the finaly word is that, next time, before you expressing your true emotinal feelings, think more and read more.

Boris

August 30th, 2008 12:25pm Report this comment

Hey, Boris,i are man

Nick

August 30th, 2008 4:30pm Report this comment

Hi mayor.
I think the guy pointed at
you mightn't speak english so he used some Body Language,that didn't stand for "irreverence".

A Chinese

August 30th, 2008 5:01pm Report this comment

I live in a southeast city in china. We are all like you so much.

Eric Wei Kang

August 30th, 2008 5:24pm Report this comment

Hi dear Boris,
I'm from Beijing China, I just want to you know most of Chinese people hope the London 2012 will be very successful because they could get happiness from the Olympics, they want to that good feeling from Olympics to continue. When you stand on the stage no one care the 'unbuttoning' as people's focus was on the Olympics flag, I believe you also could focus on the right things instead of others.
Best regards.

Jake

August 30th, 2008 6:04pm Report this comment

Mr. Johnson, you can actually go to the olympic event naked as the greek did many years ago, that way, more freedom spirit is shown to the poor chinese. hahaha

Anon

August 30th, 2008 6:07pm Report this comment

Welcome home, Mr. Johnson - your thinking-writing refreshes embattled freedom fighters!

Good blog you've elicited, too. All insight into the old inscrutability!

Back aft on BA...I always had a lovely kip if there were 3 seats free.

PS Glad I don't live in London any more. I'd have to leave anyway, once they started propagating the Mega Meccano....too heartbreaking!

Real Water

August 31st, 2008 12:25am Report this comment

What a shame, I guess you keep put your hands in your pockets simply because they hinted it is not a decent behaviour. Couldn't you fabricate a better excuss?

Nina

August 31st, 2008 5:46am Report this comment

Totally cant understand why so many chinese here gave him such a brunch of nice words....well, they only respected their own points. For me, a girl from Beijing, I m gonna say, next tim, plz take ur untidy and unsmart behaviors to other place, not in Beijing..Plz....Shame on u...>.<

but anyway, hope London will hold a successful Olympic Game. Good luck~Cheers

David

August 31st, 2008 5:47am Report this comment

My God. Mayor Johnson,you are from Mars?

yangshu

August 31st, 2008 11:48am Report this comment

I'm a Chinese,I felt nothing but amusing that day.However reading your article educates me,that even a mayor can be shallow,really.

Familar Clown (Crown in China)

August 31st, 2008 1:45pm Report this comment

That's right Boris, be yourself always! After all, flag waving is easier with the jacket unbuttoned, and you weren't as slim as the others on the podium either. Regarding hands in pockets, don't be tempted. Take a tip fom Princes Phillip and Charles, put your hands behind your back. That's quite acceptable. And who wouldn't be a tiny bit nervous with all those billions watching?

As for the girl fom Beijing, well, she's just one of a 'brunch'. I'm sure you were a hit with all the others.

Noel

August 31st, 2008 3:00pm Report this comment

I really feel sorry that you were only given a few seconds to prepare this.... But maybe this is not important to you. That's all right.

Lin

August 31st, 2008 5:14pm Report this comment

Dear Boris,

Compared to most politicians, you appear relaxed and simple-minded, and I believe that's what made people like you, and it even made you appear charming to those spectators in the Birds Nest stadium on the closing night, without knowing your "intention" of being open and democratic. Why not just stick to the honesty policy and admit that you are not a man for ceremonies, the "openness" and "transparency" are such a silly excuse and clumsy symbolism imposed on an unbuttoned jacket! Even the red socialists in China these days are more careful in picking their slogans. By the way, you'd have appeared more likeable and saved a load of discussions if you'd buttoned up that jacket.

Suetfei

August 31st, 2008 6:22pm Report this comment

Hey,Respectful Boris,We Chinese didn't find your performance have so big problem as u say.I didn't notice your button.

Today before I sleep in GuangZhou, I read this,then puzzle.I dont't think the China Great Wall can be seen from the Moon cause someone have claimed it's a mistake or only white lies,but why you mention it here?Why you care the scale of a China landscape so much?

You guy Boris,seems funny,who knows you are feeling uneasy.

However,London friends is good.
LD 8 minutes is OK and fun.
foreigners as me are not so choosy.

Melinda

August 31st, 2008 7:54pm Report this comment

Dear Johnson,
Don't worry about this.
You're funny and lovely.
we Chinese say "Jia You,London 2012","Do Your Best,London 2012".
We really still love London.
Best wishes to London.

vijay

August 31st, 2008 10:11pm Report this comment

Good on you, boris.
I am in india and all i can say is, just be your own lovable self and dont let anybody suggest otherwise.

aaaaliang

September 1st, 2008 2:30am Report this comment

Don't try to cover something, what ever you are sooooo LOVELY...or a goof?
BUT YOU STILL A POLITICIAN! Pls thinking about how could you win and stand there that night!

Maria

September 1st, 2008 2:31am Report this comment

Mr. Boris, i studied in the UK for one year and now is working for a UK company in Beijing, China. What you did at the closing ceremony and what you said in other media has nothing to do with my impression on London and the UK. Some one probably can be a good example of "openess" and "transparency" instead of a representative from a long history city and a polite and educated british gentlement. Thanks for making so many Chinese people understand LONDON and UK SO MUCH! You can only get people's respect until you treat them respectively.

WW

September 1st, 2008 4:16pm Report this comment

It's absolutely craps. Can't believe a Mayor of London would spend so much time making a fuss over nothing!

Robert

September 2nd, 2008 3:15am Report this comment

Boris, perhaps you should have gone into the stadium naked so that you could have demonstrated better the practice of openness, transparency and individual freedom to those poor Chinese who know nothing about human rights and dignity. Why did you wear suits? I was disappointed at you.

Post comment

Back to top

sponsored links

Spectator recommends

Spectator classifieds

      GASCONY

GASCONY, SW France, near Condom-en-Armagnac 13th Century stone house, 21st Century luxury for 12 in 5 en-suites. 50 acres +

BIG SAND STEEL BAND

IF YOU ARE PLANNING A CHAMPAGNE RECEPTION and looking for some light entertainment, you can now hire London's busiest steel

BOSC LEBAT, Tarn et Garonne.

BOSC LEBAT, SW France. Only 45 minutes from Toulouse Airport with daily flights from most provincial airports avoiding the horrors