Farewell to the NYC dating scene

A final farewell to the dating game in New York

6 October 2007

The wedding of the author’s wing-woman

Wiping away a dollop of mayonnaise that had found its way to his cheek, Barry said, ‘Well, technically I’m a receptionist in an accounting firm, but I have been trying to break into the theatre for a while now. I have had some plays performed off-Broadway.’
‘Really, where?’ I asked.
‘New Jersey,’ he replied, a bit sheepishly.

Then suddenly he stopped eating and put down the sandwich carefully. ‘Do you have any idea what it’s like to see people stand up in the audience, swearing and heckling the characters on stage? Every night most of the audience left. One woman was physically sick in the aisle. It was very upsetting.’ Barry looked as though he might start crying on me. What do you do if a large, grown man you’ve never met before suddenly starts weeping on you? It was like having a date with Ignatius J. Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces.

In the end I texted Alison while he was in the toilet. I instructed her to phone me and call me away on some urgent matter. This date lasted 34 minutes. I never did find out what exactly his plays were about.

Those were the good dates.

There was the young Wall Street banker with a broken arm who admitted on the third date that he belonged to some kind of Staten Island chapter of Fight Club, and that is why he was in plaster; the lawyer who decided that English girls drank too much and were too messy to be seen with in public; the son of a Brooklyn policeman who turned out to be such a racist that he felt unable to come to my apartment in my mainly Hispanic and black neighbourhood. A sense of humour and a sense of perspective were essential.

And through all of them Alison, my wing-woman, was there to pick up the pieces and help me move on. Bonded through romantic adversity and the exchanging of heartbreaking war-stories, singledom had surprisingly never felt more social or oddly amusing as it did with her.

So as I book our flights to JFK for Alison’s wedding I suddenly feel rather old at the loss of my connection to Manhattan singledom. Luckily the Sex and the City film is currently being shot in New York, so I might try to watch some of it while I am out there. My vicarious living of a single girl’s New York life will now have to be through the characters of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. Somehow I don’t think that it will feel quite the same.

Amelia Torode is head of digital strategy, VCCP; www.ameliatorode.typepad.com.