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Monday 9 November 2009

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Diplomatic Notebook

18 October 2008

Sir Les Patterson writes from Australia

Our new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd (the dentist), has had as many overseas trips at the taxpayer’s expense as I have. Unlike a couple of his predecessors, he has not sought my advice about discreet rub-and-tug shops in Bangkok, though I would have been delighted to assist him should he be desirous of getting his rocket polished in a tasteful setting. He needs to watch his back however, because Malcolm Turnbull — the next Prime Minister incidentally — is waiting for the first opportunity to shaft him. Malcolm, like me, comes from a good old Irish-Australian background, but he once gave me a serve in the British press accusing me of damaging Australia’s overseas image. I didn’t give a stuff because, quite frankly, I am Australia’s overseas image. But I had to hand it to old Mal. If you’re a nonentity, as he was at the time, the best way to get a bit of publicity is to impugn the patriotism of a bloke everyone knows and loves. I felt like shaking his hand, though my hand was pretty busy at the time. Are you with me?

Sir Les Patterson Is Australia’s Cultural Attaché In London.

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John McCarthy

October 18th, 2008 2:09am Report this comment

There's not much hope for the success of your Australian section if you continue to print Barry Humphries' juvenalia. You clearly do not understand just how he is loathed by many Australians for his sycophantic Anglophilia and undergraduate crudity.

Andrew Cunningham

October 19th, 2008 5:52am Report this comment

There is not much chance of taking John McCarthy's Comments seriously. If he wishes to impress us with his sensitive intellect and his loathing for crude Anglophile Barry Humphries, he should at least learn to tell the difference between Humphries' juvenalia and his juvenilia. Unless Humphries is organising chariot races and combats of wild beasts.

John Gold

October 20th, 2008 6:06pm Report this comment

One of the funniest articles I have ever read! Please sign Sir Les to a weekly column.

Martin Edwards

October 23rd, 2008 1:15am Report this comment

Your lineup of Australian writers is a list of ageing attention seekers. Can't you recruit some younger and more intouch scribes?

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