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Sunday 27 May 2012

Ashley Cole deserved to be booed for all that he personifies

15 October 2008

Rod Liddle says that the magnificently horrid England defender exemplifies the greed, lack of respect for the fans and whining self-regard that is ruining football

An important question of etiquette. Is it ever permissible to boo, barrack or hurl abuse at an English sportsman when he is representing his country in some battle against wily and devious foreigners? This is what happened to Ashley Cole, an England defender, who was playing at Wembley for his country against the might of Kazakhstan last week. ‘Booooo!’ the crowd went when he touched the ball. ‘Booooo!’ According to everybody after the game — and I mean everybody, apart from the English public — this was disgraceful, crass, boorish and unforgiveable behaviour. The booing was condemned in every morning newspaper by the broadsheets’ boring football reporters and condemned once more by the manager of England, Fabio Capello, and the captain of England (and part-time professor of Lucasian mathematics at Cambridge University), Rio Ferdinand. ‘I hope they will feel ashamed when they get home,’ said Rio, keeping a straight face. A very straight, long face. The truth is, they should have booed Rio too, but we’ll come to that.

It has never occurred to me not to boo Ashley Cole, regardless of what activity he is engaged in. Even by the standards of our age, he is a magnificently horrid fellow; apparently rather dense but possessed of an extraordinarily high opinion of himself, while being some way short of truly adept at football. He felt, as an Arsenal player, grotesquely undervalued at £60,000 per week, so he moved to that whore’s paradise, Chelsea, where they agreed to pay him a few thousand more. There may have been some in the crowd booing him simply for that. Later, he cheated on his missus, Cheryl Cole, with some woman he met in a club and whom he later vomited over, as you do. There may have been some gallants in the crowd at Wembley still booing him for that. But most were booing him for what he did in that game against Kazakhstan, while maybe taking previous offences into consideration.

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Don Logan

October 16th, 2008 3:15pm Report this comment

I gave up on the Premier League a while back (or whatever its called today) and went to watch my local non league team, Eastbourne Borough, they've now reached the dizzy heights of the Conference but for only 10 shiny pounds you get to see 22 guys giving their all in what are some very entertaining games.

You should give it a go Rod.

Grant

October 16th, 2008 6:21pm Report this comment

You forgot to mention the charming Mr Cole turning his back on a referee last season. He is a truly unlikeably person, and is certainly the weak point in the England team.

CharlieRay15

October 16th, 2008 9:31pm Report this comment

Cashley is the Giles Coren of football.

Jeremy Clarke

October 16th, 2008 11:02pm Report this comment

I paid £53.50 plus £1.50 booking fee to watch Bolton play at West Ham last week and the footballers of both sides were so lacking in basic skills I only stayed to watch for 20 minutes and spent the rest of he game under the stand drinking horrible lager out of clear plastic glasses at £3.50 a time. A notice on the plastic glass said 'This is not a plastic glass'. West Ham United football club must think I'm an even bigger moron than I actually am, that's how ridiculous it's become.

Stuz Graz

October 16th, 2008 11:32pm Report this comment

At some point a long time ago somebody appointed cashley as they thought he had talent. It is therefore extremely unfair to make a comparison with giles coren who never had talent only a wealthy well connected daddy.

John Corfield

October 17th, 2008 7:34am Report this comment

Oh! Rod
after your hilarious escapades with totty over the years you are standing on thin ice to moralise.

David Short

October 17th, 2008 8:54am Report this comment

Yes, let's boo every time we see a Giles Coren article.

It would make an interesting Tube journey for those that travel on those trains.

rod liddle

October 17th, 2008 1:45pm Report this comment

Don - I take the middle way. I pay twenty quid to watch Division One football every week.
David and Charlie - excellent point.
Mr Corfield - also a fair point, although I did not boo Cashley because he vomited over women.

Jezza - give it up mate, come down The Den with me!

Rob Slack

October 17th, 2008 3:45pm Report this comment

"IQ of a meat-and-potato pie". Are you sure there is meat in there?

charlie clark

October 17th, 2008 3:51pm Report this comment

So true. And I wouldn't count it as a mistake. A msitake is when you are trying and get it wrong. Not when you can't be bothered to even look and see what you are doing, when you have so little regard for the result of you incompetence, when you haven't even read page one of what not to do in a football game. Boo on, boo more.

Michael St George

October 18th, 2008 3:27pm Report this comment

Rod, you might be amused to know that last week the football website football365.com ran an online poll inviting readers to vote on what Ashley Cole deserves to be booed for.

In the single digits and teens were “cheating on the lovely Cheryl” (16.7%), “£55k? they’re taking the p**s” (8.6%), “the petulant schoolboy act as Spurs” (3.3%), and “a basic footballing error” (3.6%). The out and away winner, at no less than 67.7%, was “for generally being a c**t”.

It seems that readers of the Spectator are by no means alone in recognition of Mr Cole’s innumerable shortcomings.

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