All the stalkers you see are desperate marketing men

11 February 2009

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This will be the Year of the Nosy Parker, says Catherine Blyth: researchers chasing dwindling custom desperate to find out what is going on inside our heads

So just say no. Or the brainwashers will get you. Even now, supermarkets are developing spy cameras with software to soothsay the facial expressions of undecided shoppers who are wavering between Typhoo and own-brand factory sweepings. At least, unlike aspirational ads, ‘co-operative’ marketing doesn’t undermine us. (Slogans like ‘Because I’m worth it’ imply you’re worthless without said elixir.) I’d rather answer questionnaires than suffer kids press-ganged into pestering me to eat my greens. J’accuse those ubiquitous five-a-day cartoon ads, targeted at under-11s — almost as misguided as recruiting pallid bands of men to preach the gospel of health. Unless the smoking snoops are sponsored by British American Tobacco. Actually, given the fag-tax revenue the NHS slurps, I suppose they must be. And happily, if businesses want us to talk, they must feign to listen. When I got home that Saturday, incensed by the snoops, I was dismayed to find my lunch tasted of, well, nothing. So I googled Ottolenghi, then emailed my gripes. Minutes later, in pinged the offer of a refund plus consolatory cake. Yes, it takes more than tea and sympathy to preserve an economy. Maybe Marie-Antoinette was on to something.

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David Bouvier

February 16th, 2009 6:02pm Report this comment

Well I can heartily recommend the Telephone Preference Service and Mail Preference Service to get rid of most of the hassle - our just remember to specifically tell a telephone caller that "as per UK law, I require you to remove my number from your database and not call me again".

Malcolm Sutherland

April 29th, 2009 3:31pm Report this comment

The whole concept of unwarranted sales pitches is morally wrong. I find it astonishing that slimy yapping salespeople are allowed to phone us and bang on our front doors without our permission. If I want help in a shop, I GO UP to a sales assistant; that is the way it should be. They should wait until a customer contacts them.

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