How To Be Topp

How To Be Topp: Ding-dong Farely Merily For Xmas

Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle

12 December 2007

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A seasonal reading from Molesworth

Xmas all grown ups sa is the season for the kiddies but this do not prevent them from taking a tot or 2 from the bot and having, it may seme, a beter time than us. For children in fact Xmas is often a bit of a strane wot with pretending that everything is a surprise. Above all father xmas is a strane. You canot so much as mention that there is no father xmas when some grown-up sa Hush not in front of wee tim. So far as i am concerned if father xmas use langwage like that when he tripped over the bolster last time we had beter get a replacement.

In fact, it is a proper SHAMBLES.

Pop drop the hamer on the cat in the kitchen the xmas puding xplode with a huge crash and the cat spring up the curtains. Outside the sno lie deep and crisp and ect. and just as pop fall off the steplader the WATES arive.

WATES are 3 litle gurls with a torch who go as folows:

This of course is money for jam but grown ups are so intoxicated with xmas they produce a shiling. Imagine a whole weeks poket money just for that when you can get it all on the wireless anyway if you want it. Or whether you want it or not.

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