La famille recomposée

14 December 2009

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It isn’t just the Sarkozys whose domestic affairs are complex, writes Janine di Giovanni. They’re all at it. Modern French life is a potage of wives, exes, new babies and grown-up kids

It is true I am probably widely exaggerating and that critics will point out that I live in a certain part of Paris and that the people I meet are the chattering classes. It is also true that I know some families resemble the one I grew up in. My husband’s brother, François, for instance, has been married to the same woman for 15 years and has six children.

But his other brother, Patrick, lives in Tahiti, his ex-wife, Catherine, lives with her new partner, Loic, and their new kids (two) and his old kids (three) and my brother-in-law’s kids (two) live together in a big house in Nantes.

It sounds mad, but I have gone to dinner where my brother-in-law does the cooking for the whole brood and the new partner does the washing up and the wife, or whatever she is called, sits at the head of the table looking awfully pleased with herself. They never seem to argue. They all claim to love each other. Jealousy is so petty!

Maybe I am being small-minded because the idea of spending Christmas with any of my exes seems like hell on earth for all concerned. The fact of throwing a French mother-in-law into the recipe, along with a few teenaged stepchildren and a new baby just adds to the stress levels.

But then again, as I have said to myself every morning for the past six years — I am not French.

Janine di Giovanni’s last book, The Place at the End of the World, is published by Bloomsbury.