After all the fuss, will anything actually change?

8 May 2010

No, says Rod Liddle, the things that annoy us most about Britain will stay the same: bankers will still get big bonuses and England will lose to Germany in the World Cup on penalties

Despite the coldest year in the world since the Hellespont froze over, the government will concur with climate change lobbyists that we are facing an apocalypse. It will do so through cowardice and ignorance.

People who have lived for their entire lives in a locality will be beaten to the front of the queue for social housing by immigrants who arrived last week, illegally.

The British courts will continue to discriminate against both indigenous and immigrant people who believe in the Christian God. Nobody will complain very much about this.

Cats will continue to be more popular as pets than dogs.

English people will continue to subsidise, through their taxes, Scottish, Welsh and Ulster people, while these latter three groups will continue to carp that it is not enough, or only what we deserve on account of all that oppression and the oil you got, etc.

British people will still be extradited to the USA despite a complete and utter lack of evidence against them. No former terrorists will be extradited from the USA to Britain.

Deranged health fascists will continue to tell parents what they can and can’t put in their children’s lunchboxes. What they decide is ok will change every month on the contradictory advice from ‘nutritionists’.

We will continue to give billions of pounds in overseas aid to such cash-strapped, struggling, weak and powerless countries as, er, China.

Violent little scrotes who stab you in the neck while relieving you of your wallet will be allowed out on parole to stab your wife or best friend or great aunt in the neck during a similar operation. Eventually apprehended, they will be sentenced to community service.

If you punch the violent little scrote before he has a chance to stab you, you will be charged and end up in prison.

England will lose to Germany in the late stages of the world cup. On penalties.

The British economy will continue to subsist on the chimera of financial services and consumerism. We will make nothing.

Convenience food will continue to become cheaper, comparatively. People will become fatter and more stupid as a consequence.

The south-east of England will overtake Singapore as the most densely populated region on earth.

Post offices and pubs will continue to close by the week, leaving our villages as nothing more than commuter suburbs, bereft of a life of their own.