I fell helplessly in love with Christine Hamilton

09 July 2008

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In the second of an occasional series, Martin Rowson interviews Neil and Christine Hamilton. To his alarm, the arch-satirist finds himself warming to the disgraced couple

‘Look, darling,’ Christine Hamilton glowered as she settled herself on the banquet opposite me in the Gay Hussar, next to Neil in his bow tie, and having kissed me on both cheeks on arrival (even though we’d never met before), ‘we were broke. We were both 50, neither of us had a job or any income, and they paid us a thousand pounds each.’

Even so, and even though it ultimately paid off, wasn’t it an incredibly risky thing to do? Christine insisted that they’d had no real option, so I asked how it felt to be the object of so much vitriol, made worse through sneering laughter.

‘Actually we both enjoyed the show. I even thought the brown envelopes bit was rather funny, although Neil didn’t. I’ve been back on the programme, though for some reason or other they won’t let me host it. To be honest, I felt rather guilty after I was on another time and Angus had made some crack about Neil and I said that at least my husband had never taken cocaine and used call girls, and after that apparently Paul Merton and Ian Hislop said that Angus really had to go. I feel I should have apologised to him for bringing that to a head.’

If Christine felt guilty, now it was my turn to fess up. I wanted to find out how they’d felt about being portrayed so relentlessly and mercilessly in cartoons, not least of all because I was caricaturing them both now.

‘Watch it,’ Christine said. ‘I’ve been known to tear pages out of sketchbooks. I mean, after that awful thing that Peter Brookes did!’

All in all, it seemed wise at this point to admit to my role as illustrator in Purple Homicide, John Sweeney’s 1998 book about the Tatton election. Christine and Neil leaned forward intently. ‘Oh really?’ Christine said, her eyes widening with interest, and smiling rather beautifully. ‘We haven’t bothered to read that one,’ Neil added, also smiling. ‘Anyway,’ Christine continued, ‘we’ve kissed and made up with Sweeney. He’s even been to our flat, hasn’t he, darling?’ Neil confirmed this, so I asked if there was anyone they hadn’t kissed and made up with.

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pj

July 10th, 2008 7:06pm Report this comment

Remarkable how silent Bell has been durung the Blair years isn't it? A failed attempt to oust a Tory in Essex & then retirement from the political stage altogether. One can only presume he considers his task of driving corruption from Westminster to be complete.

David Short

July 12th, 2008 5:04am Report this comment

The headline seems inappropriate.

We never read anywhere about this love affair.

Anyway, why does the Spectator think the Hamiltons are worthy now of this cartoon and print attention?

Michael Lee

September 2nd, 2008 2:20pm Report this comment

This criticismwwhich we used to have of the
Hamiltons is usually made by people who have
never met them.If any man cannot be attracted
to Christine after talking to her he must be most
odd.

Greg Lattson

November 8th, 2010 3:46pm Report this comment

I perfectly understand what do you feel at the moment. I was in love many times and all of them it was something unbelievable. I mean you can't compare this feeling with any other one. Now I am in love with one porn star called Heather Summers. I know it may sound strange, but what can I do? I saw her at one event and felt in love so hard you can't even believe. I hope to meet her someday. Thanks for the great article here by the way. Keep posting such nice ones in the future too.

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