‘Make him sit and wait’

Anna Blundy

26 July 2008

Anna Blundy takes her dog Marmite to Tip Top training and finds that the whole procedure could just as well apply to men

Surely this, I think to myself, dragging a reluctant Marmite round a few plastic cones as he chews his lead and digs his heels in, is a very Russian approach to relationships. My Moscow girlfriends often sit around over champagne talking man training in a very Tip Top way. ‘Make him wait for sex. Then tell him he is clever and the best in bed. They love this.’ I’m sure they do, but I have noticed problems with the system.

The continued presence of your average billionaire lured in using methods of this kind cannot, naturally, be guaranteed. After all, anybody can carry a bag of treats around and one can never know when he might bound off, ears flapping, towards some treats he prefers.

I conclude, as the rain really starts to come down on bedraggled dogs and owners alike, that I shall be resolute in continuing my punishing, screaming and retributive approach to human relationships, while rewarding Marmite for his good behaviour at every opportunity. After all, Marmite has never told me he felt sorry for me when I was embarrassing myself by talking too much. And he never will. Good, Tip Top Dog.

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David Short

July 24th, 2008 8:04am Report this comment

Hmm, just the kind of flimsy rubbish we've come to expect in what is meant to be a serious political and literary magazine.

Fit only for The Guardian, if that.

Fred Kite

July 25th, 2008 10:10am Report this comment

I cannot believe the Spectator has run such a cruddy article. I'm told the reasoning for abominations like this goes as follows: middle-class self-obsessed dim women are a huge market - so lets get one to write a piece to attract the others. We can pretend it is "wry observation" or something on contemporary something or other.
How much is the cover price these days? Jesus wept.

Columns by dimw

Water

July 25th, 2008 10:42am Report this comment

Yawn, for this is a sign that leaving is a must, an intellectual potatoe famine.

Craig

July 25th, 2008 12:12pm Report this comment

I find the occasional light hearted column refreshing and while on the face of it this article may appear nonsense I can see several rather valid points. In this country the respect for women has deteriorated which has in turn led to behaviours that are quite unacceptable in our enlightened age. This is not an isolated problem: respect, as we all know, is becoming a rare commodity and the idea of a woman playing mind ganmes with her partner is simply another example of this trend.

hmm

July 25th, 2008 1:32pm Report this comment

"enlightened age"...

aimee sahlsteen

July 25th, 2008 5:51pm Report this comment

Everybody knows you ruthlessly punish bad behaviour and ignore the good. Much more efficient and economical that way. It's a commonly accepted principle in the States; "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".......